December 31, 2005

New Year Beckons.


Ah! That time of the year when you get into the retrospective mode. One more year has gone by. Every year has its own discoveries and disappointments. Learning experiences by all means.



Not getting senti and all that...just few people who stood out were:-





Without doubt, my Discovery of the Year has been this
guy.

Comeback of the Year goes to him.

Put your hands together for the Achiever of the Year.

Controversy of the Year goes to her

Please welcome my senior who graduated this year,and is partially responsible for my MBA at ICFAI thru his guidance :)

Here's someone who's taught me a thing or two this year. Thanks mate :)

As I move on to be a part of this next year, I hope the best wishes of my pals stays with me, all along. :)

Yeah,this is for you dude..not linking ur stuff..but u know,you mean a hell lot. The hot chocolate which is incidentally hot,still makes me smile :).

Each year teaches us some lessons. I hope, my dear readers, this year teaches ya the good lessons the nice way :).

Take Care and God Bless.

December 26, 2005

Bare truth.

Most of my batchmates are getting married/engaged these days. As usual,the common ritual involves the Guy's folks coming over to 'see' the Girl and her folks. One of my friend, A , had one such meeting at her place. She's one heck of a strong headed girl. This is the dialogue between her and her mom,

Mom :- Look at you!!
A :- What?
Mom :- Apply little more make up madam!! That pimple is too obvious!
A :- No,I wont.
Mom :- DO AS I SAY!
A :- See mom, if he chooses to live with me,he has to take me as I am. After marriage am not gonna powder the pimple everyday for him!!

Within my heart, I broke into a mini dance. Yay Gal,way to go. :)

December 22, 2005

Blank.

Judaa hoke bhi,
Tu mujhme kahin baaki hai
Palkon mein banke aanson tu chali aati hai.
Ab to aadat si hai mujhko,
Aise jeene mein....

In those dark times,in that period of helplessness, you walk into your room. You sit and stare at the floor.A tear flows down.And then you break down.Into pieces.Each bit of you wants to absolve into nothingness. You lose control over your emotions. That heart wrenching moment which came courtesy someone you loved.

Why does it become so difficult to take control of one's life then? Those memories only make you weep more. Weep so much that it hurts. Soon that loneliness,that empty feeling becomes a way of life. When you think you are limping back to normalcy,one flash and its staring at you in your face again. That stab of pain which you got used to by now,leaves a fresh wound. You realise,no matter what you do, it shall stay.

How can one person leave your world so shaken? All coz that person meant the world to you ? Ideally things are supposed to be so perfect. Unconditional love. One instance and all those constraints remind you of what could have been. Move On. Be strong. Have advised and being advised the same. You smile,you shrug, you smirk. Shit happens. But at the end of the day,when you are by yourself all the advices and wise words fly outta the window. Logic fails. Reason surrenders. And you cry.

You hate yourself for having let someone have so much control over you. In that cold isolation you decide enough is enough. Not easy,you admit. But heck, you take on life. A lil wise, a lil bruised. A tad incomplete, but whole nevertheless. For life moves on...




Ps:- My well wishers...i know u must be reaching for your phones by now..but am fine..trust me:) . This was long overdue,a draft waiting to happen..and so it did.

December 08, 2005

The AH Tag

Mike suggested I take up the A$$hole tag. Not a bad idea. But the toughest part is selecting 5 from so many! ;)...So, without much delay here I go...

A-H #1.

He's thin,scrawny. He's a jat. And I HATE HIM!!!! At the beginning he would talk to me as if he has all copyrights on anything 'Zarine'. One guy who carries his heart on his sleeve. It so happened one day that 2 gals he 'hits' on were in the same group (urs truly was one). So, our Jat comes. Me ignored him. He looks at S in a Dev Anand - head -tilted- manner, and starts his gibberish.

S :- A, shut up,will u?
A :- Arey,boora maan gayi?
S :- Tu har ladki ko yehi kehta hai na?
A :- Hum to har ghat ki pooja karte hain (sic).. kyun,Zarine??
Z :- Dont ask me...mein ghat ghat ka paani peene walon se baat nahi karti!

*(the group laughs)*..YAY! :P


A.S #2

Yeh,another one who thinks I'm dying to talk to him. He met me online the other day.

R :- Hi Zarine
Z :- Hi
R:- Why didnt u tell me it was J's b'day?
Z:- I didnt rem'ber myself.
R:-You are the eigth wonder of this world!
Z:- Hmmm.BTW,did u visit Vishu?
R:- No,I didnt. Will do in the eve...I just returned from my place.
Z:- Good that you know.
R:- But how did u guess that I already know abt his accident?
Z:- Huh? It's common sense,go figure out urself.
R:- No,no,tell me!
Z:- Dude,if u didnt know..u'd have asked me the need to visit Vishu,right???
R:- That I WOULD HAVE ASKED...BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW I ALREADY KNEW???

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A.S # 3.

This fella gives me the creeps.

V:- Jareen, jara ruko toh.
Z :- Haan...kya?
V :- Jara tumhare notes mil sakte hain?
Z :- Notes??? I never maintain notes.Sorry.Bye.
V :- Nahi suno...
Z :- What??
V :- Labour Law ki texbook de sakti ho kya?
Z :- Kyun library mein nahi hai?
V :- Nahi,aapki chahiye..
Z :- *Stares at him* Nahi milegi...aur ek baar raasta roka na,fir dekhna!!
V :- Par Jareen suno toh....Strategy ke case hi dedo..
Z :- SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



A.S # 4.

How can I forget this chap!! It was during my final year Grads that I decided to take up some certification course in Networking. CCNA was the obvious choice. While scouting the newspaper for Institutes offering the same,I zeroed onto one. Later that week,I paid a visit to this place. One of the batches which had just finished its certification was celebrating. One of them walks upto me.

Z :- Am intrested in the CCNA course,can you tell me who's the person in charge here?
M :- Welll....ahh...he's just gone out...you can ask me...yes??
Z :- Um? Ok.
*I shoot out all the Qs*
*He clarifies most of them*
Z :- Alright then. I'll get back, incase I have any more queries.

* I fill in the student form and walk out*

Next day,I get a call from this Inst.
M :- Hi Zarine.
Z :- Yeh..Tell me?
M :- What have you decided about the course?
Z :- Well,I dont think I'm intrested anymore. I'll be pursuing MBA instead. Thanks anyway.
M:- Oh..that' sad.

*After some more useless talk,he hangs up*

Now I start getting his calls on my landline. 3 days down and I decide enough. He calls up.

M:- Hi Zarine.
Z :- Hi M. You know,I cant understand the reason behind these calls. I think I already told you,am not intrested in the course!
M :- Zarine...dont you understand things which cant be said? (O really???! Try telepathy!!)
Z :- No, I cant. I prefer having things explicitly stated...get that?
M :- Hmm. You know...can we meet sometime?
Z :- Yeah,right! Let me ask my fiance. He has come down for dinner today...you wanna ask him directly?? (I hate it..but tht's the last resort!!)

*Line disconnects*
And thankfully no more calls!



A.H # 5

A gal,for a change ;). Boy..she's a royal pain !!! I never thought I'd be stalked by a gal !! I see her in the corridor and fled in the opposite direction. If any of you has seen 'Judaai', u'd rem'ber Paresh Rawal's character in it. That's how she is.

P :- Hiiii Zarine.... (*strange wistful look*!)
Z :- Hi P ( searching for a way to run)
P :- Kya hai...aaj kal baat hi nahi karti ho (*wistful look turns into a sad one*)
Z :- Err..? Nahi..aise hi...u know how hectic it is. I did tr...
P :- Kyun...? Maine kuch keh diya kya? (*Sad look turns into a hurt one*)
Z :- Arey yaar...tu light lena...woh dekh Aarthi..usko pakad..!
P :- Zarine...par...
Z :- Lemme go!!!!!!!! (* I would start crying any moment now!!*)


Jeeeeezzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!

And I sure did enjoy writing this one!! ;). Would tag Ranjitha and any femme blogger with this one. :D :D :D

December 06, 2005

Not my fault.Trust me!!

It's funny. Or ironical. Or something like that.

The speed with which we make up our minds or form opinions, judgements, impressions and conclusions only to be proven wrong. I mean, heck...what's the hurry? For all you know, that person was just having a bad day, and isnt all that mean. And man, c'mon, who the hell are we to pass a judgement on anyone at all? But why am I posting this....I wanted to write something else..!

O yeh. Doc says "why dont u let ur vocal cords rest? After all,everybody deserves some peace,including your tongue." Umm..k...no big deal there...I'll keep shut,till my silence makes my vocal cords scream. And am under all kinda drugs and medication,coz of various contradictory ailments. You name it, and I dont have it. It's just a throat infection. Or so I think. Nose is blocked,but keeps running now and then. I feel so damn feverish, but the boring thermometer reads 'Below Normal'. I lie down to rest and my mind is racing with thoughts. I get up to do something and I'm brain dead. So, I decide..the best (and the safest) way is to blabber on my blog. Atleast it wont give me queer looks.

So,what was I saying anyway? Yeh. Umm? I dont think I was saying anything important. Though I feel I started with doing just that, but it no longer seems important. The point is...Freedom of speech!! YESH!! (aww...i didnt intend tht 'H' to be there...but am too lazy to backspace it,so kindly bear)

If I cant talk...i can type..and if I cant type..then,mebbe I'd talk(?)..Or mebbe I shld simply do nothing...Vipul has already lost his mind chattin with me...He was the only one I counted on to match my wavelength in this state...Sigh. I hope he recovers soon.

December 04, 2005

Forbidden Love...

Read this poem long back...dont remember the source...


What I feel for you,
couldn't hold it inside,
had forgotten the whole world for a while,
did stupid things for a while

My nights go sleepless aching for you
Although I know your nights are not so
For the morning, rays shine the truth,
Though I love you so deeply and so true
It aint enough

Every pain of mine aches for your arms
Every teardrop yearns for your embrace
Every look at a child screams for our future

You gave me hope when I needed it the most
You met me when I was lost in the wilderness
You are the whole and soul I need in my life
but every setting ray shows the price

For I believe we belong for each other, but can't be together
But I still love you wholly and deeply
For I think my love for you will never end
Except maybe when I'm dead and sent
In this forbidden love we share . .

November 27, 2005

I ran..!

Yahooo! I ran the 1o K run today morn :D :D :D

It was the first time and clocked arnd 100 mins to cross the finish line. We walked and jogged and ran and even after the Run was over,thanks to inertia of motion,couldnt stop :P

Err..yeh the legs are stiff and all tht..but then,it was nice :)

So,that was the 'First Time' of this month ( Me plans to do atleast one thing for the first time every month :D )


Later Added :- Alright,alright...the "We" were Rahul and I. Rahul is a pal from Pagalguy Forums. And the fact that he's damn cute made the journey that much easier...wht did they say about good company? ;)

November 20, 2005

Hmm...

Insecurity of losing love makes us mistakingly lose the friend in them ; insecurity of losing the friend makes us mistakingly fall in love with them.

November 16, 2005

Me ponders...

Our elders,or for that matter we ourselves take life so seriously at times...

What do u want to become?
What is your purpose in life?
Where are you headed?
How does this add value to u?

Bah..does everything have to be quantified and measured? Is success in life measured by how many awards u bag or the pay package u get? Can money really show one's worth? Is someone who's working in Lehman Bros,New York more 'valuable' than the one working in a local bank?

Life is one which creates another. Leaders mushroom leaders. Money creates more money. Anything that is respected today is coz of its ability to sustain itself against the test of time. Houses of quality werent build overnight.

The point being what is the driving force today? And in the race,how do u emerge 'successful' ? Am touching too many points here,but all of them are rushing in my mind at the same time.

Leave others,what would be my definition of a successful life? What can I say to claim that "I Lived!" ? HR as a profession is no more than a support function. Why am I taking up something like this where I wont be at forefront of any sorta creation? Long term goal would be to train. Train and change lives. And to change corporate life,you need to be a part of it. You need to see and understand from close quarters what ails the corporate soul. What drives and depresses him.

I used to wonder how training could touch,leave alone change,life? But after my Summers and attending a coupla training sessions,I realised what differance an effective trainer can make. People change the way they talk,the way they think!! They come up to the trainer with gratitude in their eyes,thanking him/her for pointing out his/her mistakes and helping correct them.

My life would be successful if I can create.Create a new life,create a new mind,a new line of thinking.Creations which would last and be passed onto generations.Creations which would make a differance in my field of interest,and humanity at large. But creations are first met with resistance. Initially by the mind,then by the inertia. Next by the world. But if the creation can survive the first two,the rest takes care of itself.

Making the mind believe you can do it and then actually getting down to doing it....

Boy,this post sounds more like me talking to myself .... :)

November 11, 2005

And then you learn..!

Life has a strange way of teaching its lessons.In a journey,nothing can be taken for granted and any sorta ignorance can get back to you when you least expect it to.

We have an evaluation system where 50% of the weightage is given to Internal Assessment (IA) and the remaining to External Assessment (EA).IA is done through assignments and all that jazz within respective centers. A is done by conducting a common exam across all the centers. Folks take it easy with IA, but when it comes to EA, everyone pulls up their socks as you are measured against 2500 students, no less!! The CGPA is arrived at by evaluating both the performances, the SGPA (Scholarship GPA) is determined by the EA alone.

Last week we got our EA marks. Today we got the CGPA grades for our last but one term exams. And I sat there staring at the screen. Shocked. Dazed, to be precise. Deaf to the commotion around me. I had topped in one of the papers in my EA. Deserves an 'A', obviously. But the scorecard read 'C'. My first reaction was to inform the admin that there was some mistake there as I couldn’t possibly get a 'C' after having topped that subj!! As I was about to leave my seat, it stuck me. This was the combined result of IA and EA, not EA alone. That realisation felt like a blow. I knew where I lost out....

A month before the end terms began, we had to submit an assignment. Now the subject -Industrial Relations - happens to one of my favourites. Somehow reading all those Labour Laws never seemed boring to me. With the end term approaching, the Prof. had asked us to give a handwritten report on 5 important laws, each one to be summarised within 2 pages!!! I dunno why, I simply lost interest when I heard that. The imp. international laws were to be done the same way. 25 marks weightage. 25% component of the whole grading for the subject.

I got down to it just a day before submission, but I hated it. I didnt like the way the laws were dealt with. You cant summarise pages of such important laws into 2 pages of A4 paper!! I decided to talk to the Prof. Next day, I met him and expressed my concern. I told him I cant complete something like this, though he could quiz me on the laws incase he wanted to check my knowledge. I was confident I was pretty good at them (The proof now being the EA marks). He refused. He said, I either submit it or risk losing those marks.

I didnt submit. Not used to doing things am not convinced about. So,while everyone was marked outta 100,I was being marked outta 75. In face of cut throat competition, 2-3 marks make a lotta difference and I threw away 25.

All this came flashing back as I was staring at my grade sheet. Thanks to the remaining subjects, the CGPA didnt suffer much, but this did leave a dent.

I was majorly upset after this. When the term had started, I had aimed for a scholarship this time. The IA wasnt much of a concern anyway, as I had always scored well there. Now even with the scholarship in hand (thanks to the EA), I was upset. Sometimes its so good when things are outta your control and you can blame others for anything that goes wrong. But when deep within your heart you know that you are responsible for what you are facing, it hurts even more.

It aint as much about the marks, as it is about the lesson that came outta this.

When you embark on a journey that's important to you, every step and every stop counts. You can never know the price you'd have to pay for bypassing a few to reach there in a hurry.

On a casual note: - Damn your convictions; they can damn you at times!

October 30, 2005

It's cold out there.

Take a flight,into the night
A dark,endless expanse of a cold unknown future
To stop and look behind
Is to bask oneself in the false glow of comfort

Comfort which arose from the warmth
Of all those who loved and cared to smile at you
False, as gone are all of them
With you just gazing at the blank emptiness...

Look ahead with a decisive purpose
To move on and take it as it comes
But when will the hope of having
Someone who shares the vision die..?

As life seems like a prose
Like a poem which doesnt rhyme
A tree which hasnt seen the spring
A leaf waiting to touch its ground ..

I fly off....into the dark,the unknown.....
But its cold out there..
The warmth beckons me back
But what shall I choose to have
A hope which has no future,
Or a future which has no hope?

October 24, 2005

Congratulations....n Celebrations...!!

Dearest Vishu and Vipul...

Today the Almighty God did the next best thing to both of you (the first one being me :D ).

You know,all this while,I've been holding back...waiting till all of us got placed...but boy,
NOW WE ARE GONNA PARTY HARD :D :D :D

A silent prayer for ICICI and TCS respectively, as well...may God award these firms with enough strength to deal with both of ya ;)

And yeah Vipul dude,abh to hum bhi taana marenge "Padhai mein mann kyun lagega,placement toh hogaya na?!" ;) ;)

Truly...very happy for both of u...:)

Love,

Zari.

Ps:- BTW,kindly consider yesterday's party as the one from my side.I cant bear throwing another one for dehaatis like you :D :D



October 21, 2005

Life is fair,afterall :)

So Qazi Tauqeer and Rooprekha win Fame Gurukul (a singing compt on Sony TV). Two people who always went by their heart,didnt indulge in dirty politics when it came to voting out participants and always believed that they could make it. Esp. Qazi - the underdog. Right from the beginning,his peers thought he didnt deserve to be there.He always maintained that he had the passion and will to succeed and held nothing against his peers for thinking bad about him.

And the bandar becomes the sikander :). I like these kinda success stories,wherein a person comes at the top,beating all odds that were stacked against him.Kudos dude...keep rocking :).


___________________________________________________

This
post on Hirdu's blog aptly sums up the confusion and anxiety of a middle aged life. True,absolutely true.
____________________________________________________


This world is full of people who cant get out of their "environmental determinism" i.e a state wherein the person blames the environment for his state.Boy,am fed up of coming across such folks. They cant let go of their past,everything that is happening to them today is coz of someone else and someone else is to be blamed for it.


In the midst of such chaps,one comes across someone like
Allwin Agnel , the brain behind India's largest MBA Portal - www.pagalguy.com. He also runs a one of Asia's leading web hosting companies,is an M.Com looking forward to the erstwhile MBA degree,has had calls from Said Business School,University of Oxford. He has been covered by CNBC,leading business magazines and is also responsible for the bringing together people for community service across major cities in India.And all this while he's still at 24.


Whenever I feel low,I talk to him.He exuberates such maturity and his simple talk hits u in your face. He's someone who takes responsibility of his life,his decisions and their outcomes. He knows where he's going coz he's sure of himself.It's not that he had it all easy.There was a time when he came close to shutting down pg.com .

He slogs like a mad man.He has insane working hours. He has created a platform for thousands to come together and share their lives.And all this without charging a penny. PG.com might soon become a paid site,but it's worth it for all that it does for its members. My blogroll, for instance, has 90% of members from PG.com. He once told me,"I want to create something bigger than myself." He's living his dreams,not cribbing and blaming life/others for his state.

I aint writing this for Allwin.He doesnt need it,nor does he visit my blog.

But Allwin dude,incase someone decides to make a documentary on you few years down the line,I wanna direct it. :)

October 19, 2005

The Gestalt Prayer

I do my thing
And you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I.

And if by chance we find each other,it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.

- Fritz Perls

The key idea of the statement is the endorsement of a focus on living in response to one's own needs; it also expresses an idea about people who respectively can help fulfill another's needs in fulfilling their own: when they "find each other, it's beautiful."



Immediately following that optimistic note, the final six words are "If not, it can't be helped".


Beautiful.

October 14, 2005

...And it's a century...! :)

So..this is the 100th post on my blog :). Was going through what I wrote all this while...and the following posts are the ones I really like. Sadly,the comments arnt there anymore as Haloscan has been removed....

Intelligent Men = Dumb Women.

Mein aisa kyun hoon

After long hiatus

Lose to gain

Summers start

(Made this for the V-day)Continuing previous post

Its ok

Give a damn

Futility of hope

L square

This will be me?

When will I love me?

Art Of Detachment

Great Expectations

My Personal Rights

Choice to choose

Principle-1

Principle-2

Principle-3

Principle-4

If none was watching

Blank

Hmm...HR did u say?

Blinded by Fears

Fear in the Society


Not bad...:)

October 08, 2005

If none was watching...

Umm,I was supposed to continue my post on Women.Will do.Sometime soon. :)

Actually this post is a result of a question posed to me.

She asked, "What would you write on your blog,if you knew none visited it?"

Me : Hmm,I think the basic purpose of enabling comments on ur posts is to know what people think about it....

She : Why would you care? Would your thinking change,if someone thought otherwise?

Me : Mebbe not,but it does provide one a broader view of things.And they can always be more than one correct answer...

She : So,when you blog,is it to know what others think or to let them know what you think?

Me : Both.

She : So,doesnt the fact that people will read and comment on your post dictate its content, atleast some of the times?

Me : Umm,yeah,sometimes it does...

She : So,back to my first question. What would you write on your blog,if you knew none read it?

I smiled.

Me : What would I write?? I wouldnt write at all. :) Oh kay,tht's going a bit too far...I'd write,but the stuff would be so different...

She : You know,many people who have popular blogs,have their own private blog stashed away somewhere.One place where they rave and rant and still wont be caught doing so.Then they come back to their popular blog and continue as if nothing happened.Even the Internet has people doing a double take with their lives.They cant be in public what they are in private.Social conditioning at play,I'd say.

Me : Hmmm.One neednt display one's feelings to the world.The blog can just be used as a medium to express what you feel about things,why should it testify for your life's hidden moments?

She : Sigh.You dont get it do you? It's all like a huge virtual social party. Everybody has their masks on. None knows for sure how true the other person is. They blog to please the readers.They blog to gain more hits.To be more popular.And then they seek some place where they can be their own self. Their blog served that purpose for so long,but no longer.People are known by what they blog/post on,hence everyone is toeing the line.It's all becoming an extension of the society.And I wish you dont become a part of it all...

Me : As if I cared,sweetie. I know how close I've come to deleting the account,on many occassions. But the fact that my blog still exists is coz I believe, one day I'll stop caring about what I write. And that's when my real writing would surface...

She : You know what?

Me : Hmm?

She : Hide that site hit counter.Figures have a tendency to mess with our feelings ;)

Me : Shut that up :)

October 01, 2005

Women - I


The most common complaint men have is their inability to understand what women want. I was wondering,is it really so difficult to know us?

One SMS was doing rounds - What women say and what they actually mean.It got me thinking. I guess, that's where the main problem lies. Women dont state what they think. They have something on their mind,and they say something that is connected to it.No doubt,guys good at crosswords have it easy ;)

And this trend is observed only when it comes to their own self.If they find a puppy cute,they say it. But if they want to know about their looks,they would drop a hazaar hints before the guy actually gets it!! If they want something,they rarely ask for it.Instead it would be "She has it,I want it too" types, or she'd try to justify the need for it.

Why cant women simply be as direct and blunt as men are? The way they are bought up has some definite role to play. One has to be modest,not too demanding,always giving unto others and all that.

Women tend to be more insecure in relationships because of this.They seek assuarance. They need to be told they are loved. If a lady asks you,"How is this dress?", she's indirectly asking,"How'd I look in this dress?"

A man has to understand this deep sense of belonging a woman seeks.She might fish for compliments,but it wouldnt harm him if he gave her one. Initially she wouldnt be open regarding what she wants,but with time and more open communication,a man can gain her trust enough to make her talk what's on her mind.

To be continued....

September 28, 2005

Brand New Day

Last year,around this time my life had come to a standstill...dreams crashed,tears flowed and world was black and white.

This year,around the same time,my life has taken a new direction....dreams are taking flight,tears flow coz I cant contain the smiles and world is all technicolor.

Watch this space as life moves on.... :).

September 07, 2005

New and Improved...!

Hey Folks....how's the new look??? :)

August 30, 2005

Killer quiz.


You are an assassin.


That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. Atleast, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten.

In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't like being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you lose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes

August 29, 2005

Ouch.

When Dad went outta town,he handed over the business to Mom.Poor sweetheart of mine didnt know how to go about running it initially,but 3 months down the line when I heard her fire one of the Sales guy the other day,I thought,"Ooh la la,Mom's arrived!"

At dinner tonight Mom said,"Honey,I dont think one needs an MBA degree to run one's business...."

"Yeah,Mom" I replied,"But one surely needs it to be employed in someone else's business."

How SAD IS THAT?? :((

August 28, 2005

Arbit observation.

Noticed something today and wanted to share with all of ya.

Ever noticed that on the keyboard,'W' + 'E' and 'U' + 'I' are side by side? WE are together ; U and I are close to each other :).

August 25, 2005

Choice to choose.

I've been pondering over a point in the past few days.It's actually coz of a discussion I had with Girish.No,I wasnt pondering over why I discuss topics with him,I was pondering over (argh!) the point we were discussing...to cut the crap - Do feelings/emotions define human beings?

Are feelings responses to stimulus?Are reactions conditioned by people and surroundings? Do impulsive reactions over a period of time become instinctive responses?Do we think before we react? Why dont we? Why is the urge to react so great,that we dont bother to take a sec off and think about or rather choose how we will respond?


Since the 2nd year started,I've had all my first year pals commenting that I've changed.Am myself for the nth time posting this on my blog...I've changed...yes,I have.I dont react now,I only respond.And the response is usually well thought of before been expressed.Not that I talk in measured tones now,just the way I react to people and situations has changed.

Coming back to the topic,if a person is void of emotions and feelings is he dead?What differentiates him from a robot? Are emotions such fundamental part of our existence that their absence makes life questionable? Is it possible that since I dont feel anything for anyone anymore,therfore I'm dead? Mebbe,I choose not to respond? That's the word.

We all choose.Very few actually take the responsibility of their choices.Many blame others to have forced them to make that choice.I would say,still you chose to comply,to buckle under that pressure for whatever reasons best known to you.Compromises are a reality.But are you willing to take it on yourself for having made them?

The most common complaint would be wanting to pursue one career,but forced to choose something else coz of peer/parental/political/whatever pressure.Fine,but then dont blame the aforementioned parties for your state.You chose to go by what they said.And later blame them for making you do that.

If I dont smile at everyone,it's coz I choose not to.If I dont live upto the expectations people have of me,that's not my fault.They created those expectations,they better deal with them.If someone is surprised that I called up 4 times just to enquire about his/her well-being,it's their call.I did it,coz I wanted to.I chose to.My choices dont make me good or bad.They arnt right or wrong either.They are simply the way I choose to live.

It makes life difficult and confusing at times.The other day when a very close pal went on a rampage saying that 'I dont understand',I didnt know what to do.One side,I had a lump in my throat for having to hear that after such a close relation.On the other side,I simply withdrew.I decided,I dont have to cry.I chose not to cry.I enquired what made him say what he did,and left it at tht.I know where I'm going wrong and I dont have to cry myself to sleep thinking "how could he say tht?"...It also makes you feel like a stone.But I guess,I need to exercise my choice only when it comes to real,personal and close issues.I can always laugh without any care when something silly happens...cant I? Yes,I can :).

August 23, 2005

Good Ol' days..

I long for those days when studies were meant to be taken seriously. When I’d wake up at 4 am and mug my chapters. When sleeping without revising was blasphemy. And now, leave alone revising, if I manage to scan thru’ the allotted chapters, I send a grateful prayer to the Almighty. Sad, very sad.

Only 2 things matter – Sleeping and Staying awake. And while you are staying awake, behaving as if you are running the world. Yaawwnnn…..time to sleep..take care of this globe,someone ;).

August 11, 2005

ROFLMAO

Laughed so loudly in my Coll Lab when I read it on Hirdu's blog,that now everyone wants it in the Y! grps!!!



And my Bullet is getting some popularity in coll.Gals snidely remark it's 'OK',guys comment that I'm all set for the kill in every sense ;),and my Psych Prof enquired where I purchased it frm.He wants one for his 8yr old son.Meanwhile,Mom continues to frown at it...

August 09, 2005

Principle 4.

Before I forget,hello...am not on a preaching program!!! I already mentioned in mah Principle 1 post that these were the lil rules I was setting for MYSELF.Read that again.MYSELF.For Zarine. Toh dont blame/criticise me if you dont find them fit for yourself...and btw,after Princi 1,I've stopped listening ;).

And now the last(!!) principle for this season.Once winter strikes in 2 months,we'll (I,me and myself) will be back with a new set of the same :D.

Dont carry it too far.Yepes,that's the princi 4.I was thinking...would it be better to frame it as "Draw your lines",but for those who arnt artistically gifted,I wont make much sense.But,hey,wasnt I writing these for myself? Whatever.

What you give to a relation.What you demand from it.What you expect from the Indian cricket team.What you expect from the Meteorological Dept.What you expect from Airtel (Grrrrrr).And the likes.Dont let it cross the rational limits.Airtel service personnel believe in Hutch.High time I did too,I guess.

Work.Fun.Leisure.Food.Crib.Fool around.Everything within it's limits.Only one thing in life can be done without caring about the limits.And that is that one thing which holds your passion.Go beyond the norm for that.Baaki sabh ko control mein rakhneka.

So,the Monsoon session of my parliament has drafted these 4 princis.4 frilly skirts :D.

1.Dont let anyone disturb you.
2.Dont take it to heart.
3.Dont throw attitude.
4.Dont carry it too far.

Ouch.Too many 'Dont's'.The commitee will take care of this in the upcoming session.That set will have all 'Do's' :D.Hopefully. :)

Honestly speaking,the 2nd princi is helping me more than anything else now.When the Placement Cell guy tells you that the Bullet hanging around your neck might come across as too rebellious for companies when they come hiring,it's Ok. If he doenst like this lil metal piece,I can understand.I dont mind.He's too cute to like stuff tough people adore.YEAH!! :D :D :D

August 08, 2005

Principle 3.

Yesterday was Friendship Day.And was spent in a much better way than it was planned.One thing I really like about folks here is their "Go slow on attitude" funda.Save a handful guys,the rest of them are so amicable.None minds helping each other,be it during the routine days or the exam times.How often do we come across instances when u call up ur pal at 2 am,the morn of ur exam and say u cant make any sense of wht's happening,and he comes down to your place to help you out.Mind you,ours still isnt a residential program,so all the students are spread over the city,staying in PGs and hostels.And tht's prolly the reason why all of us dont leave the campus before 7.30-8 pm every day.Even during the summers,we would help each other across cities.

On Friendship Day too,inspite of being a sunday,the campus was bustling with activity.I had my juniors wishing me thru' SMSes.It's not as if we have a small batch size,hence are so close knit.Infact,our batch boasts of the largest student strength.700+ :).For each batch.But when crisis strikes,like the other day when a fellow student met with an accident,SMSes were shooted across the campus for blood and he got more than 150 units of it!

So,the principle number three is :- Dont throw attitude.

It doesnt help you in the long run.And man,it hurts like hell when people better than you,cut you to size.If you are good,it'll show.If you arn't good,tht'll also show ;). High attitude cant mask your real self for long.False attitude here means trying to be wht you arnt.Being snobbish.Not smiling at your friends.Not having the courtesy to reply to mails and SMSes.Thinking you are above them all.At the end of the day,you'll be just that...isolated,alone.Being down to earth takes some effort,by the way.Not to let success reach your head is as difficult as preventing the sand from getting onto your shoes on a beach.

But then dont forget one thing.Acting as if you are God's gift to mankind might make the mankind treat you royally,but they wont call you up when they celebrate their small victories. You'll miss out on the small,special moments like when a junior calls up excitedly and says,"Hey,good news man!! I've become a chacha now!! (Chacha = Paternal uncle) and all of u rush to the hospital to give the blessed couple a nice surprise! :)

Life is sweet yaar..it's us who cant take it that way.It's simple.We'd prefer complicating things and cribbing about them.We dont want to take the answers it gives and would go on an eternal search for the unknown.We cant read the writings on the wall and then complain abt life being unfair to us.More about how one can rise above his circumstances,IF HE WANTS TO,in the next post.

August 06, 2005

Principle 2.

There I blog again.Coz that's what am supposed to do with this space on www or rather http://.

Abhishek is a sweet chap in my B school.Very simple and says he never thinks too much about anything.Not a bookworm,the only books he read was Chacha Choudhary in his chunnu munnu days.Today I made him spend 40 mins in a bookstore.While I bought 'Games People Play' by Eric Berne and 'The Stranger' by Albert something (YES Girish!! I finally bought it!!),I made him buy 'The Alchemist'.Infact I told him I'll gift it to you,but he insisted on paying...dunno why guys dont take gifts from me :. It's not that I ask for return gifts!! And I also made him promise me that he'd finish it by this month end.Going by the rate Vipul completed the novel I gave him,I can expect Abhi to get back to me when his kids graduate high school.

Oh,I forgot.This post was about the second princi.Princi has a nice sound to it.Sounds like a lil frilly skirt.I guess mom was right when she said I shld've being born as a boy.Sad.So,the 2nd princi is "Don't take it to heart".

This world is full of big bad wolves.Some are handsome too,but dont let that fool you.Love with all your might.Heart breaks,let your reservoir in thy eyes also break.Cry and cry.And then say,"Get a life" and kick ass.Call up a friend and bitch.Bitch so much that the poor guy wonders why you seek so many answers."Where are the questions?",he'll ask.Right,Vipul? ;) But let him keep wondering,you keep on bitching.Then keep on blaming people left,right and center.The world sucks.Take to philosophy big time.Look into the horizons and keep mouthing,"If only....".And then you'll realise it's placement time and you dunno a F*** about the latest hot news in your sector.One thought of a being the only jobless fella in the entire batch will drive home the sense that life exists beyond your body's pumping machine.Your heart that is,for the biologically challenged folks.

Getting a life is as easy as getting a cheap electronic item without a 'Made in Taiwan' stamp.Boy,analogies keep evolving,for better or worse,time shall tell.Me shall go on till then.

Tomm is Friendship Day.Atleast on this day ,all of you, call me up yaar!! :(((

August 05, 2005

Principle 1.

Waiting for returns somehow robs life of its precious moments.Return of a loved one,return of a gesture,return of a call,a SMS,return of the Jedi..err,tht's getting too much.

Waiting for something big,eventful to happen.It never really does happen,does it? Setting huge long term goals,looking at the big picture,thinking about the future...bah...aint it boring? I never believed in planning,coz they never worked for me.All the plans I've made so far have met the same success as fish living in a frost free fridge.And the analogies I make these days suck as the Microsoft Products do.And am not talking abt their vacuum cleaner.Old joke,I know.

So,what's the point in giving ourselves the false hope of a security and control when nothing happens as per the plans? The level of comfort it brings might be a good carrot,but it's as comfortable as lying on a rock and imagining you are on cloud nine.This was bad too,I agree.Thank you.

I've decided to take lil decisions everyday.Yay.The first one is :- Not to let anyone disturb me.I dont plan to retire to the Himalayas,have heart.People can come,blame me,shout at me,call me names,dance around me,bray like donkeys let loose,shout like the sky is falling - I care 2 hoots.Let them go crazy till the cows come home.

So,a principle a day keeps mad crowds away.

I guess,an exception has to be made - My mom.She needs to stare and all principles go here and there. :(

August 02, 2005

Go go go,Goa!

Goa was fun,man!! :D..ekdum wild and wet :))

It rains without notice,rains for 15 mins,stops and again rains..!Drizzles actually.So after the first day,we all got used to it and the rain gods could do nothing to hamper our spirits :D.

Rain dance,rain shopping,rain this,rain that :)).We would simply sneek out to the beach at 1-2 am,that is if we were not dancing away to glory in some disc! But a trip to the beach,which was abt 50 meters from the resort was mandatory every night before we hit the sack.The seniors gang wanted to be there till wee hours of the morn,come back to catch a short nap and the juniors gang would be banging the door at 5.30-6 in the morn for another trip! I was seriously considering putting up at the beach itself!

Goa is all abt beaches and coconut trees!But each beach is distinctly different from the rest.Did lotsa climbing and trekking too.Visited churches and some 'Water Jail'!Food was okayish....binged on the sea food on the last day,sadly shark meat was outta stock :(.So missed out on that.

All in all,it rocked :).50 of us-20 juniors amongst them,college sponsored trip for the Achievers ;). If the perks of performing are 5 days of chilling out,away from the maddening crowd on an all expenses paid trip,boy,arnt all of us already working hard towards making it to the next Achievers conference in Jan :D!

A note of thanks to Suhail for having called up to enquire about my well being in Goa after hearing abt the landslides.That was really sweet mate :).

July 24, 2005

Am going surfing :D

Am off to Goa :D.

Will be back by 31st July.

In the morning,in the morning,in the morning by the Sea.... :)

July 21, 2005

Where's the problem??

He: "Get an attitude,gal!"

Me:"Hmm?"

He:"I mean,how can you simply talk with anyone?Kuch bhaav dikha!"

Me: (Wondering what has hit him)

He:"I'll tell you how to do it.You know,talk in jargons and metaphors,when you argue show down the other person,show that you know more..and your blog..!! Post some sense...I mean the last one you posted.."

Me: (interrupts)"Hello?Didnt you read my rights? I have the right to not make any sense :))

He: "See? That's your problem!! Take yourself seriously.Dont let people mess around with you. Get a 'no non-sense' image. I'm telling you,people value you only if you play hard to get!"

Me:See...I dont talk or post to judge or appreciate my 'value'.I do it coz I like it,and if people think I dont make sense,so be it.I'd rather spend time laughing and chatting instead of trying to pose as someone who's "Miss.Know-it-all."

He: "Sigh! You dont get it,do you? Zarine...show some attitude for God's sake!!"

Me:"Look dude..I dunno what acc. to the definition of 'attitude' is,but for me it's something which defines your persona. And if my 'attitude' is to be laughing and be buddies sorts to anyone I feel like,so be it.Exclusivity may have it's own charm,but hey,I'm not intrested in being Princess Di!So...kindly....Shut up?" :)

Hell...damned if I do,damned if I dont!!

July 18, 2005

First Love :D







Till this happens .... >








<- Let this rule..!


July 15, 2005

My Personal Rights


Right to:-

I. Not make any sense.
II. Have my mood swings.
III. Think too much or to not think at all.
IV. Get the best deal.
V. Act in the interest of my well being.
VI. Protect my loved ones.
VII. Dream.
VIII. Work towards my dream.
IX. Stand by my beliefs / people I believe in.
X. Love/hate anyone I want to,as I want to.
XI. Take decisions pertaining to my life.
XII. Argue.
XIII. Question.
XIV. Stay silent.
XV. Pamper myself.
XVI. Not give any reasons/explanations for my actions.
XVII. Not share my personal life with everyone.
XVIII.Resist authority/responsibility/actions I don’t approve of.
XIX. Be objective when the situation demands.
XX. Take vengeance.


......And that's the way it is.

July 01, 2005

Nature's Personality Test

Whats ur personality? Chance to know about yourself !

The chance to know about yourself like your character etc. This test was devised by a famous team of psychologists from a British university. Here it is.....

Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table.

In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it. There are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e.Orange

Which fruit will u choose? Your choice reveals about u

















Test results :

a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange

Muahhhahahahahah.....Gotcha,didnt I? :D :D :D

June 29, 2005

Alone in the crowd.

Am becoming a loner by the day.I dont like crowds,I prefer to stay away.I go to canteen 15 mins before lunch time,have my lunch and push off before the crowd starts trickling in.In the lab,I prefer occupying a system where none will disturb me while am at work.

In the Psych class today,the Prof was forming groups for the Dissertation assignment.Groups of 3 and when he announced my name with 2 others,I simply said, "Sir,I'm going all alone on this".He insisted,so did I.Either I do it alone,or I dont do it at all. Dissertation is something that requires constant focus and I cant keep running behind people asking if they're done with their part,neither do I want a change in the quality of the paper across the topic.It'll be a herculean task,considering I'll be doing the work meant for 3 people,but as long as I get to do my own thing,I dont care.I know I'll manage.

I have my friends telling me I've become impatient and very reclusive these days.Impatient....if wanting to get the work done on time,come hell or high water is impatience,so be it.As for being reclusive....umm...I think am coming back to my elements.I rem'ber telling quite a few pals of mine how I hate talking too much.There were times when my presence was felt in a crowd/class coz of my communication skills.It's the same now,just that more than speaking too much,am speaking sense now.And when I dont think I can contribute,I prefer keeping my trap shut rather than making CP for the heck of it.

They feel am depressed these days.I feel,am beginning to realise things.Dont take anything at face value anymore.Will talk about a phenomena called "Transactional Analysis" sometime soon.

Then when someone asked me abt the number of friends I had,I would quote a 3 digit figure! Now the number doesnt go beyond 3 fingers.It's not that I've lost them,I've realised what 'Being Friends' is all about.Though the people who matter has come down,the extent to which I can go for them has increased by infinite times.

They feel I've become more serious.I feel I've grown.That line has started making more sense,"It never was about them,it always was about you." Finally,I have started mattering to me.

June 27, 2005

It's 27th of June!!!!!!!!!! :D


Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,dear Zarine,
Happy Birthday to me...:)

June 22, 2005

Obsessed with the End.

Result Oriented.Goal Oriented.And if you happen to be in a B-School,Placement Oriented.Focus on the end.Nothing else matters if you come out with flying colors.The process,the means - be damned.

Before starting,you need to know where you are headed.Doesnt matter if most of the time you end up elsewhere,but you should always have an idea of where you want to be. Ask people to do something and the question pops up,"What will happen if I do it?" None's bothered about how it'll be done.Tht's a secondary concern.

I dunno,mebbe nothing's wrong with this approach,but should it neccesarily be this way,all the time? Why cant people simply let go and enjoy what comes,without bothering about the outcome? Is it so difficult to detach yourself from the result? Do you really need to be so sure about everything? Does it really help? And what if you knew that something wouldnt give ya a favorable result,but the process is something you'd enjoy - would you still go ahead with it?

Can you just shrug your shoulders,throw caution to the wind and say,"I dunno what I'm doing,I dunno where it'll take me,but like hell,I enjoy it!" Why does uncertainty make us so protective? Dont we trust ourselves to deal with the unseen?

It may all sound kiddish,but then what kinda life is that which is conditioned by outcomes and certainties.You havnt lived,you have just played safe.

June 18, 2005

Move On.

I have a pal who recently had a break up.They knew each other for good 10 years and fell in love in the last 4.Different cities led to a some distances in relation,but they managed fine.One fine day the dude called it off.Lady couldnt take it. Has being crying for the past 5 months.Still blames some action of hers for the happening. Goes paranoid at times. Keeps checking his mail box (he once gave her his p/d),doesnt take his calls,curses the chick the dude dumped her for and keeps crying all over again.

Get a life.If you cant handle your emotions,dont venture out into this world.Sit cocooned in your house where none will hurt you.Heart breaks happen and if you cant live with them,why fall in love in the first place? Nothing lasts forever.Nothing is yours forever either.Why abuse your body and life this way? Does the world start and end with that one person? If you say 'yes', seriously,GET A LIFE!

Bookie Taggie!

Oh k...was taking it rather leniently till one of my pals blasted me for 'breaking the chain'!..Boy,how I hate conforming to rules and doing what has to be done..:(

With due respect to Geetu,Subbu and Apurv for tagging me,I shall try to add to this noble cause..!

No. Of Books I own - Dunno...rather dont care...keep reading them - if I like them, send it over to Seema to read and if I dont,send it over to the Raddi waala.

Last 5 books I bought - Excuse me :(...but the list goes like - Kotler, Org Behv by Robbins, Fin Mgmt by Prasanna Chandra,Winning by Jack Welch and an Archies comic :D

5 Books that mean something - Umm...a toughie...

1.The Kiss - Danielle Steel - Ok,I know her work sucks,but this one was good...
2.The Alchemist - Paul Coelho - Not tht it made me realise my 'calling in life',but had few good instances here n there.
3.Ummm....
4.Lemme think.....
5.Mebbe Dilbert's Principle? :P

Seriously folks,I'm at loss here...cant recall anything that meant a 'lot' or made a difference. Books for me are just ways to either pass time,or learn something. And amongst the latter category, I tend to learn and forget :)). Tsk,tsk. Ok,5 people I tag or 'infect' with this book virus...

1.Vipul- I know you've only finished 14 pages of the novel which I lent you last month!Nevertheless,it still comes under 'Books you've read' :))
2.Hirdu - If this post clashes with your landing in India...then ignore it.Spend time with your folks.Books will be a better company in the U S of A :)
3.Suhail - Hehehheh...I know you dont blog anymore...! Mebbe you could just let us how you found 'The Love Story'? ;)
4.Puneet - Some concession for ya. You can post on the last 5 medical journals you read :P :D
5.Ranjan - Ok..your blog's not linked on mah page,but then that relieves you of tagging 5 more innocent,unsuspecting souls :))

Am kinda 100% sure,none of the 5 listed above will carry it forward.No probs folks, atleast you accomplish what I couldnt ;)

June 12, 2005

Someday...

So much has happened in the week that's gone by and hardly anytime to blog it...if this is an indicator of things to come,I doubt how much of bloggin I'll be doing once am into a job and (sigh) marriage.

Wanted to blog about false acts and masks we put on in certain situations, on how difficult it is to let your past let go of you - Yeh,sometimes it refuses to fade away n is there on ur mind all the time, on how life will be without few people am so close to and almost addicted to :(, on how Lee and Reebok are a bad choice for a family function, and what to do if you still happen to land up in them!, on why celebrating small successes matters so much...on how loving matters so much...and my exp in my Managerial Psychology class.

This post is dedicated to all those posts which never saw the ray of the cathode tube (ok,tht's a bad PJ :( )....at times I miss living my life so much...

June 01, 2005

1 down,1 more to go.

Yoohoo,II year starts! :D...All of us met each other after 4 months! And wht reactions :))! "Arey,inspite of staying in Chennai,ur color hasnt changed! U r still as dark u were before!" :))..After the registration,we all chillaxed in the canteen.And yeah,one thing everybody wholeheartedly agreed on was - Studies are of no use!! Whatever we did in our Summers was either learnt on the job or required common sense n smartness,rather than Kotler and Strategies!! We all took a resolution to open the books just before the exams n instead spend rest of the term doing something more productive!

It sure feels great to catch up with pals.But then,as all of us chose different electives,we can meet only during the breaks :(.Our college has got 11 streams n over 100 electives to choose frm!! I was sooooo confused between BPO Management and Managerial Psychology - both new courses,offered in handful schools across the globe. One was so good frm Placement Perspective,considering IT and ITes sectors are the leading recruiters in HR stream,and the other - boy,dont I love Psychology! Umm...so,so,so,so..wht to do?! Call up ppl who know u when u dunno urself for sure!! :))...Toh as always..punched 9 on the speed dial n reached Nikhil..and as always,he takes his own sweet time going in depth for every lil thing before coming to a decision! So, MP it was. BPO would be the audit course (as someone put it ;) ) will attend the classes,but will not be on the rolls for it.

As the gang sat there, discussing our 'plans' for the future, Vishwas proclaimed he had everything planned to the details. And I smiled. It doesnt work tht way,does it? :) Nothing works as per the plans. You gotta simply take life as it comes.It's how you react to the events that makes the difference. You can just have an idea of where you want to go,and make sure the path you've chosen takes you there.The detailed design of things goes wrong,as it always does. :)

Chalo...with a year full of academic rigour and pains gone, hope this one turns out to be something more on the practical side of things. God bless.

May 25, 2005

Sorry.

How I hate this word.Sorry! Not coz being apologetic is wrong,but it hardly means one is being apologetic!!
It's just a way to save your skin.Utter it and go scot free.And you know,the best part is this line:- "I said, I'm sorry! Wht more do you want me to do?" Yeh!! Just that word of yours can make up for all the pain n hurt the other person has gone through.Moreover,tht person should be grateful to you for that!


Why dont people mean it when they say it? If you cant stop yourself from repeating it,why do you say it then?Can't you simply say,"I'll try not to do this again"? Nopes.Coz that's committing yourself.U'd rather say Sorry and get done with it.No wonder,I've begun to abhor promises too.

Then they are people who dunno how to handle 'sorry's'.The first category would get all apologetic themselves! "Arey,it's ok yaar! Koi baat nahi!"..Easily forgive the other person.

And there is the second category. I'm sure,each one of us would've faced them sometime or the other. You say Sorry and they say,"Of course not! Why will YOU be sorry! It's wasnt YOUR fault,right?? I was the fool who expected you'd do it..I should be sorry..why will YOU be sorry!" You know,they want to take you on a guilt trip,keep taunting till you feel miserable and then reluctantly accept your apologies.This variety makes the whole process even less desirable.

All in all,everybody makes mistakes.Most of them can be forgiven.But if that the 'Sorry' aint heartfelt,spare yourself the ordeal.And please,learn to forgive.Dont make it more difficult for the other person.


May 20, 2005

Great Expectations

As an individual,one has certain rights. And the right to know is one of them. To know what you want from yourself,from people around you and from your life.Similarly,people around you also have the right to know,incase any of their actions can hurt you.

But then how does one know,unless one asks? The problem with expectations is that a lot is assumed. A husband 'expects' certain things from his wife,and more often than not,he assumes she knows about them,and vice versa. How often do you hear these statement in fights, "Weren't you supposed to do this?? / I tght you would know! / It's but obvious! " All based on the assumption that the other person knows what you expect.

Amongst the comments in the 'Art of Detachment' post,somebody said detaching oneself would be protecting yourself from pain and turning away from love and would stop you from living a full life.

Pain and tears. No point in running away from them. They always find their place in our lives. Infact,
this post of mine talks about how we shouldn't be over protective about ourselves.

The idea of detachment principally deals with detaching yourself from expectations.Not love and care. When you love,expecting the other person to love you back,you are paving a way for some major heartache. The moment expectations come into the picture and are not made clear to each other, misunderstandings creep in.

You can expect,provided you,yourself do justice to your own expectations.Make them heard.

And what happens when you make them heard? More often than not,they fall flat on their face.The other person thinks you are mad to expect so much outta him/her.And then you know better. You learn that relations are based more on what you can give, rather than expecting things for yourself. You have to go beyond yourself to make things work. And imagine,when both the parties feel the same,life is bliss. :)..but the truth is,we are so occupied with our own needs that we seldom look at what the other person wants.


Detaching yourself from the other person's actions,u know...u do things that make you happy,u take care of yourself,and you look after the other person too. Coz, your happiness will,in someway or other, be linked to their's.

Many might argue on the note that,what's the point in staying in a relation which doesnt fulfil your needs? Exactly. Why be in a relation to fulfil your needs? Be in a relation to love someone and make them smile. Coz u really love them :).

And to do all this,you require lots of love for your own self. Love which can sustain itself. Love which will take care of you when others dont.Something which makes you strong enough to face this world without expecting and craving from others. And trust me, it's not that difficult to love yourself :)

Loving without any expectations doesnt hurt,it only liberates you. You are free to love,love and love without any worry :)).

May 19, 2005

Summers Over!!

Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over!Summers Over!Summers Over!

Phew!! Was sloggin since feb! Finally! :D :D :D

Err..I know I was supposed to make a post on the lines of my previous post to complete tht chain of posts, but I COULDN’T STOP MYSELF FROM POSTING THIS FIRST!! I AM SO HAPPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!

Learnings from the Summers ?? Who cares? :)))))))))) Got 10 days hols before the 2 yr begins..wow..am a half MBA now :)))))))))))…The Diro wanted me to address the jrns,but I took them to picnic Saturday last, so my ice breaking session is done with.Dont think will oblige the Diro this time around :D.

The plans for the next 10 days,umm…will definitely not sleep much,I can always do tht when my classes start :)))))).O boy, my BF’s aunt’s marriage is on 26th May! (My Best Friend, not Boy Friend,relax! Both are mutually exclusive,u know :D )..and her family,extended family,family’s friends all kinda know me well…so I HAVE to be there…guess my Mumbai trip stands cancelled :((((((((

And yeh!! My favt unc is coming frm the States afta 2 years!! Will have a fun time with him. One of the bestest persons on the Earth. Dunno why,but folks born under the sign “Virgo” are such a sweethearts! I love them all :D. And my 2 aunts are also coming down. Yipppeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! It’s kids’ time again!! Lol…tht time of the year when my truckloads of cuz come down,the oldest one being 11 years old :)))))!

And I also intend to master the Art of HouseWorking! No choice,with my maid going on a long holiday, I have to manage the chores L((((((((

But me shall be happy right now…:)..and yeh,before I sign off,a lil thanks to all those who helped me see thru’ mah Summers.

Nikhil! O Boy!! How can I ever thank ya!? ( It’s just a formality, don’t take the Q seriously :P ) The way u used to put up with my mood swings everytime my Boss got mad at me…:)…Truly precious pal :)

Ranjan – He somehow believes that I’m good at whatever I do :))))). Ok,I also believe ya :))))). LoL :)

Suhail – Hehehhehe…we used to rave n rant at each other everytime either of us had enough of things! For a change, I was at the recv end at times ! :)))))))

And yeh,all those who put up with my mood swings on Y! mssgr during this period…Ranjitha, Puneet, Wayne, Vipul and Vishu . Now promise,no more ‘Busy’ status :P

Till next post….take care n ensoi!!!!!!!!