March 29, 2005

Give a damn

- When you face bad times
- When people with,above and below you just want to pull you down
- When nothing goes right
- When your self-worth is questioned
- When your work is not appreciated
- When people sneer at you
- When you know,it cant get worse than this
- When people you banked on turn their backs
- When nobody has time for you
- When eyes cant be stopped from welling up
- When you know you deserved better
- When you are cheated
- When you dont feel like trusting anyone

Just let the moment pass.Hold on to yourself.Know that no matter what anyone says/does,you should keep faith in your abilties.People come and go.All that stays is you and your conviction.

March 26, 2005

A Big Question Mark..

Sometimes you throw caution to the wind,decide you'll do what you want to do,and then somewhere down the line you have your own doubts. At times,it's so easy to walk the most treaded path.Everything abt it is tried and tested and all you need to do is follow the footsteps.That insecurity of 'What Next?' is absent.

You flow with the tide and it does help.I dunno,but how many can risk following their own path.At times,so much is at stake,that u better stick to the routine.You can hardly afford to make any mistakes on the new path.Every step has to be a calculated one.Though you started off by throwing caution to the wind,you end up being more cautious than before.But then,I guess,at the end of it all,the good part is that you gain confidence that no matter what comes,you can handle it.But do you have to risk things to learn?

I'm such a rebellious person at times.And then I wonder,what/whom am I rebelling against?Is there something wrong with the system,or with me?The system ought to be correct,for it stood the test of time.Then,am I wrong? Why do I have to shun anything that sounds normal/regular/stereotypical? Why cant I accept things as they are? I have friends who are so happy when they score A's.Why do I simply shrug it off,irrespective of whether I get an A or a D? And then why do I question myself on such an insensitive trait? Why do I doubt myself whenever I choose a different path? Is it so wrong to do something like that? Will I be happy doing what others do? Will I be happy by not doing so? And for God's sake,why do I think so much??!!!

Some things can be so disturbing....

March 22, 2005

Dhinchak :D!

Yes,yes!!! Today I got to do my own thing!! Yes,YES,YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAKAO!!! :D :D

March 20, 2005

It's ok...!

At times I wonder how carefully we protect our feelings and ourselves from hurt.This attitude may prevent you from making mistakes,or trying out newer things in life,but we are more than happy taking good care of ourselves.

Wont say tht's wrong,coz your first responsibility lies towards yourself.But the problem begins when people carry it too far.

You wont tell someone how much you love him/her,coz you may lose tht person.You wont play against estd players,coz you may lose.You wont let others know about ur feelings for them,coz chances are they might misunderstand or even worse,think too much of themselves.And in both cases you might lose them.You wont love,coz it hurts.You were hurt once,so you wont love again.Heck,this is not what they meant when they said learn from your mistakes.It means,learn and improve.Nobody said stop living or loving.

You dont like Maths/Social Sciences coz you fail in those subjects.You lose your marks there.Some even believe,if you laugh too much today,you'll cry tomorrow!! So,you wont laugh today,coz you dont want to cry tomorrow.You may lose someone tomorrow,so you'd rather let that person go today,coz it'll hurt less.

Why are so over-protective towards ourselves? Why do we think and think before we take the plunge? You can swim only after you take the dive! And what'll happen if you get hurt? Why are we so afraid of pain? And tears? And they still manage to find their places in our lives.Why cant we just let go and live the present? Is living safe the way one enjoys life? Why do we take ourselves so seriously? It's ok to get hurt,to make mistakes and to cry.There's nothing wrong with it.Why do we have to project a tough,macho image? What's wrong if you shed a tear or two?Granted,sometime stakes are high and you cant afford to make a mistake.But if such a cautious approach begins directing your life,that's wrong.

Why cant we be comfortable with ourselves when we commit a folly? It all stems from the belief that we should be brave,strong all the time.We should never be foolish enough to make mistakes.We should be wise and make wise decisions.If you make wrong decisions,you are bad.Fine! Am bad! But I've learnt what not to do next time I do the same thing!

Be Free.Of all such binding factors.Live with the purpose of discovering life.And a closed mind will allow you to do anything but that.

Ps:- And that reminds me of something.Always choose a life partner who's ready to forgive your follies and still accept you.Who's not judgemental all the time.Who smiles when you do something silly :).

March 17, 2005


Sometimes we build walls around us,not to block out people,but to see who takes the efforts to bring it down....

March 15, 2005


Today I saw a signboard which had a Fractured hand drawn on it.Below was written,"All kinds of repairs undertaken".

March 11, 2005

Same feather,flock together....sick.

This one of the rare occassions where am opining on something I'm yet to have full knowledge of.

Have heard of networks and their importance.Of Alumni helping out their alumnus.Over the past few weeks I've seen how it works.Their's a job opening in your company,and you flock to your B-school and get it filled.You apply your resources first.And more often than not,the seat is filled.How fair is this practice?

I've read about internal sources of recruitment,where the employees refer their pals/acquaintances for job vacancies.Saves lotsa cost to the company.But at who's cost?Such kind of practices lead to formation of clusters/sub groups in the company,which in turn promotes favouratism. Infact,in my college itself,there's one gang of all Gujju students,one gang of all delhites and so on...the telugu gang even has its own Y! group and club outings!

What's wrong with us?? Why try to form such groups wherever you go? Understood,you are away frm ur place and finding someone who's frm the same place brings in a feeling of belonging,but to what extent can one let it affect you ? I shun the idea of belonging to any group. I dont want to restrict myself to one gang and be called as a "Hydie".Not that I'm ashamed of being one,but I refuse to be branded one and treated like one.I am what I am.The place,the people dont define me.Any dance party,the Punjabi gang is the first one to participate and bring in all the punjus to fill the remaning seats.Ghettos.Tht's wht we are creating.Each wants to stay with their own.None wants to go out and embrace all.

And the same trait carries itself into your corporate life.Favour folks from ur B-school.Others are trash.Accepted,you have certain duties as the alumni,but when in the Company,you are paid to hire the best,not your favourites.Tht's not the time to perform the alumni duties.You are cheating your company of a better talent which might be present outside your School.

That's just one side of the story,and before passing a verdict,I'd take a counter stand and examine it.But if this is what forms the major crux of it,then out with Internal Recruitment Policies in my company.

March 08, 2005

Workplace Wisdom

The 3 weeks of mah Summers have taught me these:-

  1. Meetings schd to begin at 11 never get started before 11.30.
  2. Sometimes,it's advisable to do what's to be done and not use ur brains.
  3. When the Boss is talking,listen.Or atleast pretend to.
  4. Keep calling up the PM at odd hours,asking queries abt the project.'Show' her u r
    working, after all.
  5. If you are a bunch of people doing different projects,but aiming at the same deadline,make sure u stay ahead,or atleast stay with them on the progress front.Lagbehind,and u've had it.
  6. Dont do extra work.The Boss will invariably ask you do some more.
  7. When the PM shouts at u,screaming that u r behind the schd,listen quietly.Dont ask,"Is there anything I can do abt it,Sir?"
  8. Always have one trump card hidden.The moment the Boss says you havnt done enough, produce it.
  9. Dont take it to heart when the PM says you've got potential and you can do better.It's just a ploy.
  10. When the PM is getting unrealistic with next week's deadline,say,"It can be done Ma'am.But might not be comprehensive considering the amount of work that'll go into collecting data for these modules.Yeah,we can filter out,but then again,if we want things to be good,we need to give them proper time and attention,which in this case isnt possible as the number of modules are large, the data should be exhaustive as the field requires extensive study..." By this time,she'll get the message and cut down on the work :D :D :D.Even if she doesnt,you have prepared the ground for not doing it all ;).
  11. The irony of it all....Nothing can substitute hardwork. Except for Outsourcing :D.

Tht's it for now...let's see what the next 11 weeks have in store.

Kya kehne!

Kabhi dekha nahin, kabhi mila nahin,
Naa shayad kabhi dekhoonga, na miloonga
Kabhi tumhare saath baith ke baatein nahin hongi,
Kabhi us hawa pe lehrate tumhare lawz in ashkon tak nahin aayenge
Har woh nazar, har woh safar, bin tumhare, bin un ankhon ke hogi
Fir bhi humein gaflat hai, tumse mohabbat hai ...

Yeh nazar,yeh saath shayad na ho
Fir bhi har dhadkan mein tumhari awaaz hogi.
Shaayad tumhari mohabbat,tumhari gaflat ho
Par hamari saasein tumhari amanat hogi....

March 05, 2005

Chalk and Cheese.

Aaj,I saw 2 different families.Totally in contrast with each other.

Family 1:- The father is a B.Com Grad.Right now in Middle East,working and minting money.Has 2 daughters.The entire family stays in there,except for their daughter who stays in India for her studies.Daughter leads a pretty wild life here.Of course,stays all alone n none to question,so it's bound to happen.No culture,doesnt know how to behave decently infront of others.Daughter is doing MBA,coz she has nothing better to do for the next 2 years (Her reason,ad verbatim).Got 5 buildings in Hyd,a Merc and a Porsche in Mid East plus a villa in Dubai.All of them meet once in a year for world tours.

Family 2:-The father is also a B.Com grad.Has 3 sons.2 IIM passouts,both married and one son doing his MBA frm Welingkar.None of them intend to work outside India.These folks have 2 flats and a Scorpio.A visit to their house and the culture,values reflect back.The boys are very down to earth,and believe in leading a life which gives more peace of mind than dollars.I asked one of them,"Dont u think,that is ur defence against not being ambitious and aggressive.U know,the laidback attitude of 'Take it as it comes'?Why dont you want to go abroad,if you have the chance?( He had a PPO frm a good firm)"
He smiled and replied,"Why should I?Earning money is not the motive of my life.I want to live my life with my family around,in the place I've being brought up,with friends who matter around me.Why would I give all this up for the sake of dollars?"
"But dont u think,people define you successful only if you are earning dollars,have riches and belong to the elite class?Arnt u missing being in the hot circuit?"
"I'd define myself as successful,if I can live life the way Dad did.Not letting success reach ur head,staying rooted to the ground,and giving your family the first priority.Money is just the means to this end."
"And do u think,your bro's MBA from Welingkar will lead to a less illustrious career than both of urs?The 'IIM' tag aint there,right?"
"Well,yeah...initially it'll be difficult for him.But I think,that process of breaking thru' will teach him more abt his field than what both of us know.And 10 years down the line,he'll be better in his field than us,who got it easily coz of the tag.All this provided,he doesnt give up on himself."

I badly wanted to ask him,err...why arnt they more better off..!! He read my thghts (Ouch!) and smiled (I love guys who smile before and after they make a point!) "You dont have to show it to prove it." Woah! "Like I said,it's just the means.It should be there when we need it,and trust me,it's safely there!" We both laughed. Cool chap.

And this incident only made me strengthen wht I believed :- I'd anyday prefer a life which has more warmth,love and support than money.More time to smile and smell the roses instead of running around for fame.Live a life which is worth the effort :).Immortal fame post your death wont get back the life bygone.

March 04, 2005

More than I can chew.

As the days pass by,my Project Guide keeps discovering new new ideas to make my project 'better'. And who has to slog to work on those ideas? Yeah,urs truly.So,on that front,works keep increasing exponentially.

Wednesday we had a project review meeting with the Faculty Guide.HE has something instore for us too.Read the latest book in the field of your project and submit a book summary.One book on Research Methodology and its summary.Also read 5 articles in the similar area and the presentation on them.Add to this,weekly reports on the project progress.Submit the project proposal by 9 March.Submit the summary and articles by 25th March.More once we are done with this,it seems.

March 03, 2005

Null and Void.

These days,am either sitting quiet for hours together,or thinking for too long or working till wee hours of the morn.

There are times,when you think...well,nothing.The mind goes blank.You dont want to argue with anyone,you dont want to reason out things,you just let them be,you dont care.Life seems to drag on,you arn't intrested in anything.Everything seems so drab and boring.You work as required.You work more than required.Still,u rnt thrilled abt it.Accolades/accusations dont make any difference.The mind is far away. Searching... thinking....

And then you wonder,what to blog on?