January 16, 2007

Satin © Zarine.

January 01, 2007

As it was...2006.

With just about 30 posts in 10 months of this blog's existence speaks a lot about how prolific am at it these days. The old one had about 140 in almost 2 years :).

Wonder how much this indicates about my interests and priorities. Have never rated blogging as a TP thing, but the fact that I write less now....does it mean am talking to myself a lot more lesser?

Just a lil amused that how much I've learnt to live with Life, as it is. Taking things in my stride, compromising, being least bothered at times. 30 times in last 10 months...thats so unlike Z.

I know, deep down am keeping a low profile. As I keep discovering about myself, the more I choose to stay silent. (Btw, won a Silver Award for my performance. With 8 months of work ex under my belt...sounds good :) ). The only time I get flustered is when things dont go as planned at my work life. Have become such a stickler for perfect execution that misses get to me.

Personally, its being a roller-coaster. I feel totally sapped emotionally. It's been a year wherein it was all about what others thought, how convenient it was for them, how comfortable they were with things, how could I provide for them. Drains you out at times.

This year, I hope to be more honest to myself. This year I plan to break some hearts. This year I plan to undergo an acid test to reach where I want to. With whomsoever I want to. This year Z doesnt wanna be nice to anyone at an exorbitant cost to self. This year will be a year of push-backs. Will need to be more strong than before to withstand it all.

As it goes, its better to take the pain and become stronger than to suffer in silence and shrivel.

A lot more of my acquaintances will hear less of me, the close circle of friends will find me more around for them. Every new thing I do has to be connected to some existing habit of mine. Things can work if they sync into each other...if there's some continuity of sorts. Out of blue ideas will stick out like sore thumb in the larger picture. Come to think of it...in the pursuit of learning newer things, how much justice do we do to what we have already learnt? Learning and forgetting is an insult to the entire process.

This year...lets just question some more...be more curious...be more candid...be more honest.

May God nurture our Souls.

© Zarine.