July 29, 2008

Of Ghosts & Dogs.

It's been a while. Things havnt changed much between the last post & this one. Except that I find myself a bit more confident these days. Owe it to the promotion & a direct reportee or owe it to the fact that you've seen enough to know that things just happen. The world doesnt crash if you dont meet the deadlines. Hasnt yet, ever.

Not really a retrospective post this, but more of an observation kinds. Observation fed by thoughts of near & dear ones.

"You should often do what you fear the most. This way death of fear is certain" - Mark Twain

How do we define our fears? By the consequences? I'm actually scared of ghosts. And dogs. But I still remember all those nights when there was no power & my mind made things just more difficult. It would be difficult to sleep as I'd be on high alert. Now, why do I fear ghosts? Coz I have no control over them and I cant possibly combat them either. That's the problem. If I knew that on sighting a ghost you should make a face & its gone...it would've made life easier. I already give in to its fear before even facing one!!

And dogs?? I detest them. If I find even 1 looking in my direction, my heartbeat starts racing. But I still remember the day when one dog actually chased me. I ran...scared...and suddenly when I knew it would out run me, I turned around to face it. I dunno what got into me to make me think that my fist, if it lands right on its nose, should help me!! But I turned and almost started snarling at that beast when it changed its course and went away. I stood there, breathless. Not that this incident made me overcome the fear...I still feel scared of them. But now I know I'll fight back if that damned beast ever acts smart.

The point being, we cannot overcome our fears until we face them. Or even after we face them. No matter what, trust on oneself is mandatory to survive. The biggest demon lies within us. Kill it, if you have to.



© Zarine.

July 11, 2008

M&A

Merged my new one with the old one...yooohooo!!!!!!!!!

© Zarine.

July 05, 2008

Just Me.

At those lonely hours of a cold night you wonder...how much have you invested in yourself to keep your being afloat at such times?

Do you have any habit or hobby you can fall back on to see yourself through such still hours? You fall back on your friends without for once thinking that they too have their lives & cant be there every time you need them. Do you even 'need' them now or are you are using them as a defense against Loneliness? Are you curing the problem or its symptoms? Thank Lord for the pals you have...who lift you through...what if for once they couldnt? Would you fall flat?

You can sit still for hours when you are alone...its like something is lost. You exist in them...in people around you. Their presence revives you...you are a low key raaga without them. You are so completely detached from your surroundings that it sometimes startles me that you are even present in the room! It seems like you really arnt here...you are somewhere else...mebbe with all those people who arnt near you at that point...

Or we could be misinterpreting the whole thing. It could be that you are so at peace with yourself....like a still lake...an inert body comfortable with its state...that you dont feel the need to engage yourself by indulging in any activity. You draw into your shell, you typical Cancerian.

Whichever way it is, I still love you.

God bless.


© Zarine.

July 01, 2008

Catchin up

Phew..the days jus run..no, whiz by these days. In between the 2 posts...my birthday came & went, a promotion happened, 5 terminations and endless hours of employee counsellings. As always, loads to write but no time to string it all and stitch it here! I like the sudden rush....but hope things turn sane soon.

© Zarine.