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Showing posts from 2006

Losing in relationships

How important is it?

When we meet someone who we like and would love to be associated with, we often greet the person with open arms in our lives. We realise the person's importance over a period when we spend time/moments/secrets/dreams with them. And one fine day, we find the person gone.

Lets not talk about a natural separation called Death, we cant do anything about it. It's about those separations which we knowingly/unknowingly bring into a relation.

Some people cant stand others getting too close to them. They start behaving in a wierd manner and try to create distances. Some people want the ones who are close to be more closer...classic eg:- Best friends marrying each other. What about those who fall in neither category?

These folks usually dunno how to handle it. They get edgy when someone gets too close...and they move away...and when the drift starts, they get uneasy and try to hold on, thus creating a mess outta the relation. Why cant we decide who we want to be close w…

Death

Why is man so scared of Death? When it is so inevitable, when it so certain then why cant he accept it easily? Life is a step ahead of Death. The day it stops walking, Death will overtake it.

Live, anyway. Die, we will, anyway.


© Zarine.

Uh oh..Sorry!!

Hmm...goof ups...mistakes...galtiyaan. Kisse nahi hoti? Mujhe se bhi hui hai, My Lord!!

Jaise ke:-


Clicking reply on my own mail and then sending the reply to myself :| It was meant to be forwarded!!
Confusing 2 associates with same initials and then sending the wrong one for redeployment. Poor thing, she was wondering why I wanted her to move out! :))
When not aware of a particular policy, trying to figure it out through common sense. Lesson learnt :- Not all policies are common sense friendly.
Changed the date of a major event and forgot to inform all those involved! :| It was a BAD experience! :((
**Added after Vipul's comment** - I had to draft a mail whose recipients were all the top honchos. I very meticulously wrote it...checked and rechecked the sentences, spellings..even read the sentences out aloud to see how they sounded! (DuH!). After a thorough check....clicked "Send". A minute later, one of them replied with a curt 1 sentence mail :- "Mails should alw…

I love my job (Just realised!)

Lil amusing that I havnt blogged about my work life yet!! But me being me, sigh, anything is possible :).

I'd rather talk about how it feels being an HR Professional.

You are expected to know all the answers, be it policy related or "why my salary hike isnt reflecting in my pay slip!" sorta queries.
You get invited to every team's offsite and parties. None wants to be in HR's bad books, you know ;-)
You gotta be empathetic towards the other members (I hate calling them 'employees', dunno why!)...doesnt matter if you've had a bad day, you just cant pass off the heat to them!
Ops (Operations i.e) would love if you said 'yes' to whatever practices they're following. Say 'No' and then you get to see the real drama unfold :).
It's imp that the top management buys in your ideas, else none below them will respect it.
You touch lives directly. The smile/gratitude one gets to see when an associate gets the kinda project he wants or has his cas…

Ramadan Mubarak..!

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May Allah accept our prayers, and more importantly, forgive our mistakes.

Ameen.



© Zarine.

Arz kiya hai...

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Kuch aise bhi lamhe hoten hain
Jinke hone ki umeed nahi hoti
Choo kar jabh yeh guzar jaate hain
Toh muskuraate aansuon ki keemat nahi hoti

Yun toh dekhten hain hazaar khwaab
Par har khwaab ki taqdeer haqeeqat nahi hoti
Jis pal koi haqeeqat khwaab ban jaaye
Aise pal se zindagi muflis nahi hoti

Mat karo na-umeed is dil ko
Bujhte chiraag se roshni nahi hoti
Toofan se darr kar jo saahil par reh jaaye
Aisi kashti ki koi manzil nahi hoti.

~ Z.


© Zarine.

Waiting...

I look forward to the day
When I can forgive myself
For all the promises not kept
For all the memories forgotten.

I look forward to the day
When I can dance my heart out
Sing to my soul's content
And not care what they're thinking.

I look forward to the day
When I can smile
Inspite of knowing that I failed
Inspite of knowing that I'm weak.

I look forward to the day
When my resilence gives strength
Everytime I give in,
And to everyone who gives up.

I look forward to the day
When I will not wake up with my mind occupied
With the past follies
With the future make-ups.

I look forward to the day
When today will matter more
When past gives me reasons to smile
When future gives me hope to live on...

I look forward to the day
When I shall not measure myself
Against standards set by them
Against perfection.

I look forward to the day
When relativity ceases to exist
In my existence
In my relations.

I look forward to the day
When I can smile
With just a thought of a pal
With just a thought of myself.

I look forward to t…

'KANK'y stuff.

When I first saw the trailers, I developed disgust for this movie. Yet another mega starrer-tear jerker. Why cant they use stars for a better purpose?!

On a sad sunday noon, me and mom decided to watch this one. All geared up for a sloppy show, I left the theater thinking "Finally, Bollywood is growing up."

I found the movie interesting. Because it had so many flawed characters. None was perfect..(Abhishek came close to being the perfect man, but the night he makes Rani realize her 'inadequacies', lo..! he's one amongst us.)

I wonder...

If SRK would've fallen in love with Rani if she was a successful woman, like his wifey.If Abhishek ever cared to look beyond his own nose. "I love..I love..I love..; She doesnt...she doesnt...she doesnt." Ever cared to find out why she doesnt...?Why couldnt Rani get over her obsession with "Love" and cast one caring glance at her hubby...If their (SRK and Rani's) love was so true and strong, why didnt they …

Tale mein twist

Yeee Hawww.

Some post the last post was. Poor ol' Z sounded as the most wretched creature on Earth! Sob, sob.

Hehehehe, raat gayi baat gayi..:D Saari bhadaas nikaal di uss post mein...now it seems so light within..

Oww kaay...Apun ki life mein ek twist aaya hai...jiski agar sahi angle pe banking nahi ki to accident hojayega :D

So while I negotiate this curve...keep zooooommmming folks..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo!


© Zarine.

For no reason.

Hi.Am down. For a very personal and strange reason. For a reason that none is to blamed. For a reason that it was none’s fault. For a reason that Life sucks. For a reason that whenever I choose to be close to what I like…Life smirks at me. For a reason that I can never get to do what I really want to do. For a reason when my heart wants to speak out and reach out to someone, I face a vacuum. For a reason that I am alone when I want to celebrate an occasion with someone I want to… For a reason that Life has decided that I stay the Loner that I am. For the reason that every happiness I want is delayed. For a reason that I don’t feel the happiness when it actually happens. For a reason that the fire within me is dead by the time its time comes. For a reason that reaffirms my faith in the thing that what I really love and hold dear shall always stay away from me. For a reason that those who love me have to be kept at a distance, ‘coz I cant get them close. For the reason that when I want …

Operation Mission

"kuch paane ki ho aas aas "
Umm...no aas mere aas paas.

"koi armaan ho jo khaas khaas "
Nah. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

"guzre aise har raat raat ho khwaishoon se baat baat "
:)..sapne dekhne ka time nahi hai :.

"kuch aisa kar ke dikha khud khush ho jaaye khuda "
Pata nahi kya chehra batayenge uss Khuda ko...

"aashayein khile dil ki ummedein hase dil ki "
Guess high time they did..

Think man, think! Feel it! What drives your life?? What is the passion of your life? What is that one dream....that fire which fuels you?!

Discover yourself...life aint worth otherwise...



© Zarine.

Reliving the old...

I simply love old songs. Few new ones are good too..but the old ones have a mystical touch to them. Infact, when I listen to the oldies on my system...they remind me of Mom and Dad. The times when they would listen to the old songs together after dinner...those images are etched in my mind...how much would I love if my guy too loved my kind of music...sitting together, listening to these melodies..life would complete the circle...


Ps:- Cant thank you enough for the 400+ old songs you gave me...u dunno how much I value them, Vipz.


© Zarine.

My calling in life.

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Tonight Z announces to the world her true passion in Life. That one person. That one heart. That one moment worth waiting for...worth living for...worth everything.

Stay beautiful,

~ A hopelessly romantic soul.


© Zarine.

Free fall.

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Off late, have often caught myself thinking/imagining about bungee jumping during the meetings. I feel like running outta the room into the greens. Want to free fall. Zip, zap, zooom.

*********************************************

When I used to hear about Life and the choices it offers, I would smirk. It was all pre-determined to such an extent that even what we would choose would be part of the larger design! Hmmm..doesnt look like it works that way. What we choose determines how people perceive us. It's of no use to make sense of what people are saying/doing, coz they keep changing. Everything is so fluid and dynamic that you crave for some stability. Something to hang onto...an anchor..a support...

*********************************************

Miles to go before I sleep...
Hundreds of promises to keep...
I swear on the Lord above,
I must be one helluva procastinating creep!




© Zarine.

B'day Blue..Pink...whatever..

Ow, it was my b'day on 27th june. Ideally should've posted something...ah, if only things were ideal enough..!

Whatever.


© Zarine.

Dazed

At times I'm a little lost. Something is on in my mind, but I have no clue what it is. Moving ahead becomes difficult coz something is holding you back. Restlessness and anxiety take over. What on earth is happening?

I feel like walking alone in the night. Guess that should soothe me down...

Hmm.



© Zarine.

All the best, buddy.

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Vipz, all the best as you start your career. My prayers will always be with you. Stay firm during the tough times for they are the signs of coming happiness. Take care of yourself and hold yourself above shallow characters. Make mistakes and learn from them. Grow from strength to strength. In any moment of doubt, just remind yourself that you are one of the most precious things I posess. And anything that I prize is the best that Life can offer to anyone.

You are the best - Never forget that.

Will stay your pal forever,

Zari.



© Zarine.

Killer V.

Vengeance is a powerful driver. It takes you over and makes you lose sight of sense. To give back as you got it gives one a sense of Power. The power to make/mar someone's life. In the heat of the moment - when the other person is at 'your' mercy - you have to make the call. Pull the trigger or let him go. All those past moments flash in your mind, hormones start racing your heart and you pull the trigger. Peace. Its over. Or is it a begining of a tumultous future?

I have seen people take revenge. I remember that smile on their face and their emotionless eyes. Some people hurt/kill others to remove all that symbolised a painful past. They think by removing that person, they can shrug off their past. Or if they give that person his 'due', they'd feel better. It's been a while since I saw someone, who destroyed/spoiled someone else's life, lead a peaceful life himself. Has anyone of you witnessed this?

Not taking revenge is considered a sign of cowardliness…

I babble too.

Sob sob..the last post reminded me of the times when I saw this flick with Vipul the Pahwa, right a day before the final exams..! :( Vipullllll...........:(((((((((

***********************

Waise, on work front..me got a nice boss (touchwood, *nice* is an understatement! ). He keeps enquiring if I have resumed blogging?! Dont stop blogging and get a life outside work are his commands for the week :)). Okay okay..am not blogging coz he asked me to..(see see boss, am so nice :P ), am blogging coz I feel like..(yeh right!! :)) )

***********************

I thought of penning down a post on "Lies and all that lies beneath them" (waah waah, what a title!!), but I felt so good after thinking out the title that the post will now have to wait (hehehehehe..lazy me cooks excuses like nobody's business :D )

***********************

Umm..thats it for now.

Vipul come back soon re...dumbass, who goes travelling in hot summer??!!!



© Zarine.

Ziddi ladki.

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What I reallllyyyyyyyyyy like abt this pic and the song "Khalbali" is the "break free" mood it carries. Umm..thts me all the way :)

Aha..I feel like typing down the lyrics (since all u folks arnt fortunate enough to hear me croon it :D ). The parts of the song I love :-

hone hone de nasha khone khone ko hai kya - 2
ek saans mein pee ja zara zindagi chadha
hai yeh toh ek jashan tu thirakne de kadam
abhi saanson mein hai dam abhi chalne de sitam

aankhon mein hai khalbali
dhadkanon mein khalbali
mausamo mein khalbali
hai khalbali

kaisi yeh tabdili hai
sheeshi botal pee li hai
raat neeli neeli hai
hai khalbali

And this one :------------>

Ziddddiii ziddddii ziddddiii zidddiii
Ziddddiii ziddddii ziddddiii zidddiii armaaaan
Ziddddiii hai toofaaan
Zidddddii hum bhi yahaan..!

Yeh right, outright ziddi and proud of it :).


© Zarine.

Thinking aloud

This post was long overdue..but then I had to make it. :)

I've lead a strange life. One where I dont get what I aspire for. When I settle for something lesser, all that I wanted falls right into my lap! I always knew myself as a fighter. I'd fight for anything and everything! So when life doesnt give me what I want, I take what it gives me and turn things around.

With time, I have seen myself grow more comfortable in my skin. My definition of achievement/success are my own now. I no longer aspire for someone else to commend me for what I've done (rather I wince when folks say I've done well!).

It's gonna be a straight from my heart post...so I might sound vain at times...

Thanks to all the people who walked out of my life...who ditched me..dumped me...betrayed me. Now I know that the only person who'll see me through all this is Myself. I have had instances when I almost broke up with those who are now in my "Indispensable Folks" list. I chose not to rea…

The Fact.

"The central part of my own life is my death. After a while,it will all come to nothing. Whenever I have the courage to face this, my priorities become clear. At such times nothing is done in order to achieve something else. No energy is wasted on maintaining the illusions. My image does not matter, I do not worry about how I am doing. I do what I do, am what I am. That's it. The imminence of my own death is the pivot around which things turn. This makes what is going on now all that counts."


"All relationships are temporary. It's so terribly hard to remember that we have so little time. We stall, kid ourselves, promise that we will deal with things some time soon. Not only are there many things that we never get around dealing with, but even when we do, there is so damn much waste in the process, so much unnecessary distance between ourselves and those with whom we try to make a life."




© Sheldon B. Koop.

Hmm

Mohabbat mein nahi hai
Fark jeene aur marne ka,
Usi ko dekhkar jeeten hai
Jis kaafir pe dam nikle.
Hazaaron khwahishein aise ki
Har khwahish pe dam nikle....



© Mirza Ghalib.

Reading Season.

As I got loads of time to kill, I decided to dig out some old books. Some of my favt subjects like Data Communication & Networking, Modern Database Management, TCP/IP, Java Applications and Web Designing were back on my table. Best part is,this time I'll not be reading them like a student does :).

I came across a book called "If you meet Buddha on the road,kill him." It has a line which impressed me - "No meaning that comes from outside of us is real." The book talks about how Gurus and Spiritual Guides are nothing better but a guiding force to discover what lies within ourselves. Will write a review on it. I read 3-4 pages and was thinking over it for 2 hours! :O :O.

One dhaasu line from that book :- "Only what you can let go will stay with you."


*********************************

I realised today I dont like history.



© Zarine.

Eyeing Expansion: Intel's Offering to Rural India - the Community PC

Cross posting from Desicritics

he rural sector has one more reason to smile. After ITC's e-choupals, here comes Intel's "Community PC" platform.Intel has recently announced the Community PC as its offering to the rural Indian. Its part of the "Jagruti" initiative wherein Intel collaborates with businesses, governments and education institutes to provide their services through this platform. The PC is designed to face the rough and tough conditions of the rural sector. It is a expandable and runs on shared access. It has a rugged chassis, Customized Power Supply Unit (CPSU), lower power consumption and Access Control. The Chassis can withstand harsh temperatures (upto 45 degree Celsius), high humidity levels(70 to 85 RH). It has an in built fan to cool the motherboard. The CPSU is a combination of the Integrated Power Supply and UPS. This protects the computer from abrupt power cuts. What's more, it takes less than 100W to run!Rural India is a huge untap…

Mask

Vipul the Pahwa seriously posts here about masks and all.

I dont see any problem with masks. Not everyone deserves to know you as you are. Different people, different situations and therfore a different you. As long as you can control who you are, no issues.

At some time the mask will come off, you say? Then lemme put it this way. Replace masks with faces in the above para. Now now faces dont come off,do they? ;)

Itna sonchneka nahi life mein. Jab situation jaisa hai,waisa react karneka.




© Zarine.

Lost in 'Space'.

I like this place man. Feel like talking forever here :).

Since all my pals turned into bewafaas and left me to join their jobs/homes, am all by myself. Useless things pass my mind and I'm too lazy to ponder over them :P. Raving raving and ranting ranting about nothing at all.

I read somewhere "People want space in their relationships". I wanted too. Before I knew it was all BS. Now I'd rather have my guy calling me up and bugging me all the time than having 'space'. I'll just say "Quid pro quo,hon" and he'll back off :D.

What space man..kya karoge space ka? Why do u want any emptiness in a relation? Why cant u be your respective selves anyway? Before you know, that space turns into a huge gap which would require a bridge to close the divide. Cherish the proximities. Not everyone is lucky to have their loved one by their side :(.

IF there's enough respect in a relation, you'd naturally let the other person be as he/she is. "Space&qu…

Who's listening anyway?

With lots and lots and lots and lots of time to kill, I am surfing the Net most of the time. What surprises me is the number of blogs, forums and networking sites that are running. Everyone (well, almost) has a blog these days. We got forums that have people coming together and discussing stuff. And you ought to be extinct if you havnt heard of Orkut.These places are good for creating new links in our lives. You get to meet so many folks and your circle expands. So far so good.

The Net has empowered everyone with the Freedom of Opinion. You can simply pick up some topic and state your thoughts about it. Though this is a good thing which sets one's gray cells thinking, what worries me is the authenticity of such opinions. If I need to know about something, how do I know who to listen to?? Too much of information is a burden now.

Everyone puts across their 'opinion' making the content subjective to some extent. Right,left and center we got portals and websites asking you to v…

So we begin..!

Ok. New Blog. New Beginning. Really?

Nah! :D It's the same me but in a new,improved package :)).

I got 2 more (sad) months to go before I join mah job. Till then I decided to hand over the reins to mom. The going has been smoother than I imagined :D.

Am jumping around the house...And yeah,am gonna make Aloo Paranthas for breakfast on Sunday morn :D.

Wow man...intellectually void posts are fun!! :))


© Zarine.

Brand New Day

Yoohoo!!

I dont like carrying the luggage of the past. Hence an altogether new blog. One cant erase one's history, so that old blog stays just the way it is.

Life's got a new beginning in more ways than one. It's not a new chapter but a whole new book!

So....zooooooommmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnn to the Futurrrrrreeeee....! :D

Fear in the Society

Cross posting it from Desicritics.


Can freedom and fear co-exist? Going by the recent cartoon controversy, apparently not. Freedom by definition is the ability to do think/ act/ speak without constraints and causing harm. Fear is something which stops you from doing the same because of the consequences.

In a democratic set-up like India and the US, fear has become a part of the national fabric. The US citizens are afraid of paedophiles, of been robbed on the roads at gun-point and after 9/11, the whole country is cautious. Is this the price one pays for freedom?

Rang De Basanti has been applauded by most of us. Like armchair missionaries we appreciate anything that represents the cause. But seldom do we take it up on ourselves to change the system. A Manjunath or Satyendra Dubey, upright citizens who died on duty, reaffirm the fear. We choose to keep quite because the consequences scare us. The Freedom of speech and expression may incite many to voice their concerns, but unless an Act t…

8 bahane karke....

One great thing about Blogosphere is Tags :)). When u dunno wht to blog abt,here comes a tag to ur rescue :D.

Surbhi, the lovely one, has tagged me. She's intrested in knowing 8 things I'd want in my "Partner in Crime" - P.I.C (tht's wht I prefer calling "him" ;) ).

Knows what to talk and when to talk! He should sense the situation and act accordingly.Loves food and loves to cook/experiment with it. (Btw, I jus discovered Upma + Sauce and Butterscotch + Choc sauce are good combos. Infact, anything with Choc sauce on it is good, what say, LLVP? ;) )We shouldn't have to seek permission from each other to do things. As in,if a pal is in town, I can invite him over without thinking what will my P.I.C think. If he feels like going for a trek, he can. No restrictions whatsoever. As long as we know abt each other's whereabouts, P.I.C can be in Honolulu for all I care..! :DShould be able to deal with my mood swings using the right techniques ;).Should te…

Blinded by Fear

2 things. Firstly,well,apologies for the long hiatus. MBA's over,so was taking the much needed break.

Next, the sequel to the preceding post. Honestly speaking, as much as I thought I knew the answers, I realized that they were only based on my second hand experiences. Experiences which could possibly be someone else's perception and my not being a part of the 'real' thing, can distort the whole picture. So, this is for all those who were kind enough to comment :- Lemme take the plunge and I shall share with you all what I see beneath the surface. Thanks again for all those comments... :)


I really like Mike. He makes me think,esp this post of his. It talks about dreams not been achieved coz of fears and the most dreaded fears coming true.

So after a really longggggggggggg time,here comes a Psychological Post :)

When we dream,those dreams are not neccessarily our own. They're often colored by the expectations of the people around us (like almost every other thing ab…

Hmm...HR did u say?

I am mean. Very very at times. But I cant help but laugh when I see folks with zilch experience in HR talk about their 'passion' for it. Mind you, I was one of them. Till sometime ago. I once wanted to blog about HR,infact almost decided to start one on it. Gautam does a good job and he's been in the industry for more than 5 years. So you know he aint talking through his hat. He knows his stuff.

Coming back to nubile newbies. What do u mean when you say you are 'passionate' about HR? When an employee makes you run 10 times before he fills in the appraisal form, will you still be so 'passionate'? And multiply that 10 times run * more than 100 employees. Fine. Automate it.

You train the employees and bring them to a better level. You act as a 'facilitator'. When the numbers grow, you outsource it to a leading T & D firm.

You need human resources. You chalk out the manpower planning and get down to recruitment. If it's a quaterly exercise,you do i…

Pet Peeves

One more tag..and again..Puneet it is!

X = People/folks/persons (u get the picture ;) )

X who dont reply to SMSes and e-mails. Too busy, u see!These same folks calling up and mailing you frantically when they 'need' you.When am interrupted while making a point.I'm real pissed off when in a debate, X simply rubbishes my points with a wave of his hand and smirks.X who say they'd call / drop by, but never really do.Too many questions.When my sis wants the fan on at a full blast and then uses the quilt!! WTH!!!When it takes more than 20-25 mins for my order to be served. On more than one occassion,I've walked out.X who cant make up their minds even after the deed is done. Typical eg. :- Purchase something- come home-think-think-think- go back to the shop-exchange!!X who judge others by their taste in books/clothes/music/food/TV channel/etc. Preferances can never judge the whole persona.When X cant take on me straight and use the Bypass Attack technique to get even.X wh…

Wah wah!!

With the MBA program coming to its end there's a spate of parties, averaging to 2 per day! Its at these places when the guys are in their real elements. Sample this couplet by one of them:-

"Hai jo tere ishq mein itna khauff,
Hai jo tere ishq mein itna khauff,
Then just F**k off, f**k off, f**k off!! "

ROFL!!



© Zarine.

Wham-bang-CRASH!!

Yay. The New Year started with a bang. Literally and physically :))

Poor me was in an auto which looked real sad. The auto wala should've been in his Harem,counting his last days...but he chose otherwise. He drove the auto with so much zest,it would put the super sonic pilots to shame. And he banged into a bike. The auto jerked suddenly to the left - out I fell - auto followed suit - the whole damn machine landed on my ankle - OUCH!!!!!!

What next? Hospital, of course!! Thankfully had a pal - Ketan - along. Few moments of pain seem like eternity.I realised this when I was sitting outside the hospital, holding my ankle in agony and the watchman refused the wheelchair. Ketan tried his best to drive sense into the guy, but he wouldnt listen. He wanted us to take another entrance which led to the OPD. But here I could barely stand, leave along walking that distance. Someone else came along and thankfully let us in,with me on the wheelchair.

Trust me, I felt so funny. Sitting on that whee…