February 27, 2005

A bad one.

I've always posted the poems I liked.But this time around,I'm posting one of mah poems which I really hate.The more I read it,the more I detest it.

A look in the eye
Looks away before you look back

A tiny whisper in the ear
Silences itself before you react

A smile starts at the lip
Is gone before you smile back

A tiny dream arises from deep within
Vanishes before you let it take flight

A feeling which touches the heart
Plays with the mind's might

Why is it that everytime I reach out,
Life goes out of my reach
Whenever I need to live
Living becomes an earnest beseech
To seek and to survive...

Never bothered to complete it.

February 26, 2005

The Day it was Mom's B'day :)

Today is Momma's b'day (grin)...and I took over the kitchen(I grin,others dont) ...and I did a pretty decent job (Everybody's grinning)

My bestest pal had come over,and Boy,she rem'bered it was Mom's b'day!!! Here's where the real difference arises.People who care,remember and take time out.Time is a function of importance.

We zeroed on Pav Bhaji and Caramel Pudding.Initially I tght,Mom likes Butterscotch cake...but me dunno how to make it :(.What if we bake a regular cake and ice it with Butterscotch icecream? :D.Well,the idea wasnt appreciated,so we settled for the Pudding.

Err..initially,Mom had to help out in the kitchen.Me was,as usual,bawling away some song.Marc Antony's "You sang to me".I went on and on,till Mom gave me the "Why are u doing this to us?" look and said,"It's ok.U dont have to sing back to me!" Hmm,fine.Wont sing :(.

The day passed off,thankfully,without any major event.Nothing burned/over cooked.No mess.The dishes tasted as they should've :D.

Whtever,but Momma,you deserve the highest honours for having and bringing up and handling a kid like me without losing your sanity :).May God bless you with a long life,and may God bless me too,to make your dreams come true :).

February 25, 2005


Today I was silent for 10 straight hours.I know,miraculous.But well,that's what your field can do to you,if you are soooo into it :.Resorted to SMSes for a while,but after all,how many SMSes can one send?

I've had so much of these training sessions that I can sleepwalk in case I've to give one!

Everybody around was smoking during the break.All the guys and the gals and my boss too! Was wondering how many did it coz they enjoyed it,or coz peer pressure or coz of stress.And would I ever succumb to it?

Yesterday I downloaded "Kabhi mein kahoon" from Lamhe.The first song from my childhood,which introduced me to the world of romance....I'm still in love with this song.And the movie was amazing too.The way Sridevi gets the man she idolised all her life as her life partner,and the song begins with the same line,"Sapna mera sach hogaya.."

Lovely song.Absolutely lovely.Makes you want to fall in love so much.

February 24, 2005

Fight it out :D.

Have read it twice in the past week :-

"Women who fight/argue with their husbands,live longer"

Ahem,I didnt try to analyse why,but looks like am gonna live for ever after :)).

February 22, 2005

Continuing the previous post...!

Continuing in the same line of thght as my previous post,here's what I scribbled while waiting for my PM to turn up.Silly - Yeah.But matters nevertheless :).

Will you love me
If I spill sauce on your favourite suit?

Would you love me
If I wiped blank your favourite CD?

Would you still care
If I rammed your car into the wall?

Would you hug me
If I crashed your comp?

Would you like me
If I burn your photo album?

Would I still mean the world to you
If I wake you up in the midnight to make me a sandwich?

Would you still love me,dear
If I did everything you hated?

Would you scold me
If I knock down your Granny's antique piece?

Can I count on you to hold me,
Everytime I stumble?

Can I expect to be loved
Everytime I commit a mistake?

Can I fall back on you
To teach me,guide me and not scold me?

Would you make me feel silly,
Everytime I cried during a movie?
Would you cry with me instead?

Can I dream of you loving me,
Inspite of all my misgivings and faults?

Will you please allow me to cuddle upto you
Even after I make you angry?Umm?

Would you please let me hold your hand
After a major tiff?

Can I sing you our favt song
When you feel it's all over?

Can I just be around
Loving and hugging you?

Can I love you,
Even if you dont want me to?

Will you be there,
When I feel I've nothing left to offer?

Can you just be there,dear......?

Ps:- Offtrack,had an awesome day today @ Off.The senior consultant was so impressed with my design report,she not only asked me to make a presentation for other trainees,but is also taking me to the Accenture Workshop with her tomm. :D :D :D.Yay!

February 20, 2005

Through good times and the bad ones....

I've been feeling very strongly about one issue since the past few days.How important it is to be good/polite/mature/serious all the time???

I mean,at times it gets to you!You simply shout at someone,tell someone something bad only to regret it later.And that person doesnt forgive you.You wonder,if he/she really knew you enough,to let one incident change the perception.And if it's worth having such people in your life.Constantly explaining and justifying your actions to someone,waiting for approval and forgiveness.Thinking you might lose the people who matter,just coz you did something wrong...Why cant you feel secure,that irrespective of what happens,or what you do,your friends wont misunderstand you,and they wont ditch you.Why be anxious round the clock?

How often can we allow people around us to make mistakes?How tolerable are we?Can we still love someone if they did things we detest?Is love all about being goody-goody all the time and deserting the person the moment a bad trait shows up?Is that 'love' in the first place?

I have loads of pals.But I know deep within,very few of them are the real gems.No matter what I say/do,they'll know the real me and stick around.I dont have to justify myself to them.I can shout and abuse and kick and they'll take it all like a wall (Of course,only to return it back later :)) )....but come to think of it,how low is the threshold of mistake tolerance.How easy it is to blast someone,and how often I do that.

I wish I was more tolerant.But then again,why cant I allow myself to be mean and bad to someone? Why do I have to be good to everyone? I needn't be.Mebbe,that's the way I choose to be.But then again,what if I was no more the person I am.What if I failed,never answered SMSes and mails,never smiled at anyone,was mean round the clock.How many of my pals would stay by? I wonder...

And what if they walk out,only to return.Will I take them back....??

February 19, 2005

Aim it right!

Man,that last post on mah Summers was a marathon one!!

Must learn to be more concise and less verbose.Well,I learnt this at my Training session today.We had to draft Aims and Objectives of our training program,and though mine addressed the issue at hand,it was too wordy.Aim has to be a short,single statement.Objectives can be half a page,no probs,but aim has to be very precise and specific.

Aim to be short and sweet now ;).

Hey,how about a poem on Aim? :D!

Begin with knowing what you shall achieve
Aim to achieve what you claim
Claims should be stated under the 'Objectives'
Objectives support the achievement of your Aim.

Lol :))!! What Was THAT?????!!!!!!!

February 16, 2005

Summers Start..!!

Hi bloggu,

Man,had so much to post on 14,but the damned Net gave away!! A silly sa love note tha,ek bahut introspective post tha,sabh kuch gaya!

Neways,today was mah first day at mah Office :D.And as they say,I was 'raring to go'.So much so that,I arrived 80 mins before time :O!! Nahi,not my fault,I was told to report at 10,my peers were told to report at 11.I was there at 9.48.Pata hai,while going to the Off,I was wondering how come my action-filled life witnessed no event on this important day.....and the Auto's tyre went Pfffftttttttttt..Tire Puncture.I thanked my stars for functioning properly.200 meters to the Off,abhi chal kar hi chale jaaten hain.Glance at my watch 9.43.Hmm,and I couldnt recall where exactly the Off was!!I gave myself 5 mins to find the off, or call up and scream for Help!Thankfully,within 5 mins I was at the place.I was told certain Mr.Rohan is incharge of the interns.Waited and waited.Wished my cell had Minesweeper inbuilt :(.It was 10.10 now.I tght of "My unc is the State Home Minister,how can you keep me waiting" tactic,but decided against it.I dunno who the State HM is.

A nice sweet looking guy went by.I smiled and he smiled back.Now dont get ideas,he was the one who had interviewed us earlier,so this was the "Hi,How are you?" smile.I was hoping against hope that I get a smart-intelligent/nice-dumb guy as my Project Guide,but as it always,u get the opp.So I was prepared for both.

:D :D :D :D :D Rohan was the guy I smiled at :D :D :D :D :D ! Yippee!As I had arrived pretty early than other candidates,he showed me around,gave the modules to see the way they are designed,spoke about the company,and blah blah (By now,I wasnt listening,anymore :D).By 11,the remn turned up.The Principal Consultant came in then.As he started addressing us,a client came,so he had to go.We had to wait.11,11.30,11.45,12...one of the gals spoke up ( We were 3 gals n 3 guys )..."Let's go and call him,he cant keep us waiting like this" (??!!!)Hullo lady,am here since 9.45 and you walked in just an hour ago!! Me :- "Be a lil patient,he has a client to attend to.I'm sure he's not making us wait on purpose." She:- "But they cant take us for granted like this!" Mama mia,who are "We" btw? Some hotshots from NASA ? Career start hua nahi,attitude has already paid a visit! Me thought,Wht's the point in arguing? Just smiled at her and went back to the module I was reading.

12.15 he walked in.Intro done,Briefing done,Deadlines given -week by week and now came the time for the actual Project to be assigned to each one.2 in HR and the remn 5 in a module they are designing for 4 verticals - IT,ITes,Manufacturing and Insurance.I obv,wanted the HR one.And he gave me "Customer Problems faced by Employees". I was like,"WHATTTTTTTTTTTT???????????????" (Ok,I didnt shout that way,but am sure my expression did the needful!) He then went on and on about how we design the modules,but I wasnt listening.My proj completely shattered my hopes of having an HR internship.Nopes,I had to talk to him about this.

After the briefing,I went to his cabin and stated my concern.He smiled and said,"Zarine,you were intrested in Training and Devlp,atleast that's what you told me in the intv,right?"
"Yeah,but I dont see how this proj is anyway related to T & D"
"Ok,this is one of the most critical modules of this Firm.You tell me,after you induct trainees,what do you train them about?"
"About their Job requirements,skills and attitude reqd,how they work in tht Company,and how they deal with people inside n outside the company."
"Internal and External customers?"
"Exactly.Your project deals with what are the problems employees face while interacting with internal and external customers,address the problems,design a module to solve the problems in such a way that our client can implement it in their Training Program for their employees.You also state the requirements one should have to handle such situations.HR related?
"Training and Development related?"
"Yess!And I need to work out a module for all the 4 verticals?"
"Yes,that'll give you a complete idea of each industry and their problems.Once done with the basic design,you go to few companies in each domain and question the Supervisors and Managers about this,get the data and design accordingly.Am I clear?"
"Good.Now that you have already been given your deadlines,get prepared to attend the Training Session we are holding for Satyam Computers employees tomorrow.Get the feel of a training session and after that we'll have a half day training session for all of you on how to design and implement modules.Fine?"
"Do we meet tommorrow,then?"

And I walk out of the Office grinning like an idiot :)).Not bad to start with,what say? ;)

February 13, 2005

Lose to gain...

A look into the skies from my room triggered this one :-

A look into the horizon
I can feel myself there
Pulling itself out of me
My Self seeks to fly away.

Free,pure and angelic
With no worry of the world
Fly,fly and fly away
To reach the zenith of the Light .

I sit here wondering
If I can let it go
What shall I be without it
A Spring with no flow.

It tries to tear itself apart
I force it to stay
It looks back with teary heart
I look away.

Don't go please,
For you are the only one I have
I seek to make you complete,it said
By making you reach beyond yourself

I close my eyes and let it flee
And feel myself become as the One I had set free....

Common Sense :D

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dachshund dog along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now!

Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund ! nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says......................"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well................................

Realise,realise.....when will we realise,it's all upto us!!!!!

February 09, 2005

Aaraam Se...:)

Holidayyysss....ummmm...the time when you feel utterly dispensable! Since my sems ended on 5th, I've been doing nothing.Absolutely nothing.

My schedule -

Day begins at 1.30-2 pm. Nobody shouts,thankfully!Am at peace with myself,so allow myself to sleep as much as I want to :D.Breakfast (Yeah,MY breakfast) follows.Then Dad wants me to join him for lunch.I dont mind :D.

Around 4-5 realise I need to do some work atleast!So,make tea for momz n addz...Deed for the day done :D. Watch TV,read the papers till 8...Dinner and then surf the Net till 2-3 am.Go to sleep.And repeat the above next day....but today I went shopping too,so had my share of outing.Bought an aquarium today.4 days of hols down,another 4 to go before mah Summers begin.

Yawwnnn.......had too many grapes in the eve,feeling 'high' :)).

Sleeping,dining and lazing all day along
Swaying to the Bryan Adam's song
Flavouring days with all things sweet and spice
Man,life sure looks rosy,cosy and nice.

Zai Jiang! :)

My Shadow :D

Got plenty of time to kill :D.Saw this on Mike's blog and decided to try it out...

What kind of shadow am I?

anime chick
You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,you are always right at his or her heels! Your deep social connection with human beings produces your qualities of genuine caring and charisma. However, at times you are naive to the true nature of your loved ones. Remember that humans' gift of free will does not always lead them in wise directions. But your essence of love and friendship represent the other precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a strikingly valuable and innocent being who has a lot to give.

What Kind of Shadow Are You?

Ahem....any comments on this? :P

February 08, 2005

After a long hiatus......

Was talking to Aks today when he asked me to post a poem on the Creative Corner thread on pg.com.I told him I stopped writing and he asked why?...And I asked myself ,indeed,why?

Life's too good to let one incident take it all away from you...so here comes one,after a long time.As always,dedicated to the Kid mod :).

Face the Sunshine

I sit here all alone,in the open air
With the feelings of hurt and despair
For all the things that went haywire
Things which pull me deeper into the mire.

I struggle to make myself free
Against the tears and the misery
I realise,the more I fight,the more I lose
A quiet submission is what I choose.

When I prepare for it to sweep me in
A deep cry rises from within
'Don't give up on me',I hear
A plea arising from the Heart of Fear.

Fear that I may forget to smile
Forget that this may last just a while
While I choose to cry,Life passes by
Why cant it take along my sorrow,my sigh?

But I may choose to forget
All the pain this Love had beget
And carry on just fine
Welcome with a smile,the Rising Sunshine.

February 03, 2005

Mein aisa kyun hoon...??

I bet everyone must've at some point in their life wondered about it.

Why am I like this?

- I think I know what I want,but then why do I seem to be confused?
- Why dont I spend money on cosmetics and accessories?
- Why do I love food so muccchhhh??
- Why dont I like chocolate faced guys?
- Why do I always start studying from the last chapters?
- Why do I go to sleep the moment I feel I'm almost there with my syllabus?
- Why do I find gals who talk about their BFs and guys who talk about their sports car vain?
- Why do I underestimate my appetite and order a small pizza?
- Why do I start giving sermons at the drop of the hat (Now,dont all of nod your heads!)
- Why cant I be cool about the fact that guys CAN wear brown shoes over black pants?
- Why do I drift into my own world the moment my gang starts gossiping in the canteen?
- Why can't I sit still in the Fin class?
- Why do I ALWAYS argue with the HR faculty about HR policies?
- Why do I think of starting my own fast food chain in Ops class?
- Why dont my gal cousins like me?(Err,ok,I shouldn't have given them a cold stare when they asked me about Tulsi's bahu's future action regarding her ex-BF and current Husband!!)
- Why dont I think dancing like crazy is a way to relax and chilling out??!!
- Why do I keep quite when I should be talking and vice versa?
- Why do I open my mouth in the first place!!!
- Why do I think of myself as a die-hard romantic person when I find roses and gifts boring?
- Why do I keep putting myself in risky,troublesome situations?
- Why do I cry and laugh so easily?
- Why cant I accept and live with the fact that I'm good at times?
- Why do I forgive others so easily but find it hard to forgive myself?
- Why do I feel am God' favourite child,the one who He keeps testing,day in and day out?
- Why do I relate with boys better than with gals,yet my best friend is a sweet lady?
- Why inspite of loving dance,I prefer dancing by myself,rather in a party or disco?
- Why do I keep talking to myself so much??!

Am damn sure I've more to add to the list,it's just that I have a exam tomm....and my books are giving me that,"You didnt do me justice" kinda looks.Why do I feel things around converse with me?!? Why do I think so much???