July 28, 2010

I really don’t know how it feels to leave an organization..have been with the same one since my career started...people seem so happy and care free when they are in the exit mode!! I want to leave too!! But I will have to clock another 17 months before I can...sniff sniff

 

 

July 19, 2010

                                                                                  
So often I find myself in this situation....wherein you dont want to be with a particular bunch of people..coz obv u dont like them or the way they are...but they are having fun and chilling out..and you want to be part of that 'fun'...so you are like.."ok...lets compromise" and u actually dont end up having either your self respect or that 'fun'.

This whole thing of being accepted is so wicked. Why the hell dont I have people I can easily gel with, around me? Its often those vain, bitchy creatures who make me want to scream. But if those are the only ones around..what do you do? Its a choice between being by yourself in your room or out with them. And its not easy, when such choices become a frequent thing.

So at some level, I'm so indifferent to all this..but at another level, I have this whole 'social image' thing which bugs me no end...you know, when how important your existence is defined by number of parties you get invited to. You want to be important..its a good feeling..but then..what are the means? Mebbe here's where you decide..what do you want to be important for? Answer to this question would help ya decide where you'd want to focus your energy.

Think, think.

And with this post, I surpass the number of posts I published in each of the last 4 years. :)

© Z.

July 16, 2010

Short Story

Normally, she wouldnt take up something she wouldnt do justice to. But this time around, there was a conflict in her mind. Her heart said, "Let's do it!!" but her mind was cautious. "I'm not sure", it said, "It would change a lot of things" "So, what..? Have never done something like this...and given the odds, you might make it through." "Hmm. Are you sure you want to do this?" "YES" "...Ok...lets go."

And with this last thought, she took the leap from the 45th storey of her office building.

End of story. Literally & figuratively.


© Z.

July 15, 2010

I am feeling happy today. :) I got infected by some queasy worm in my tummy and had allergic reactions all over my body :). Mom and dad learnt about it and called 5 times in last 24 hours :). My khaala who's my favt doc in the world called thrice :). After having lived by myself for such a long time and being kinda self dependent for everything...it felt great to have folks call up and trying to take care, atleast remotely :). I feel so cared for :)

I do talk to Mom & Dad almost every other day...but these calls were something else...beyond expression.

I miss home..


© Z.

July 07, 2010

Trust me! :)

The normal way to decide if someone is dependable or not is measuring how many times they've lived upto their commitment or deliverable.

But at times, you get this 'sense' that someone is dependable. This is most often triggered by the person's aura or the way they carry themselves. So if someone is charming and makes you feel at ease, its easy to believe that they are dependable. Not always, though.

People who are aware of their weaknesses often do a great job at hiding them. If I know I'm not dependable...I will atleast portray an image to the contrary. This helps me decide which ones to be dependable for or even hide behind my "good aura". If you have 2 people, 1 who does the work but starts with a "I dunno if I'll do it.." or "I hate doing this"..and another who starts with "Sure, why not" and eventually does not do it...its easier for people to believe the latter to be more dependable than the former. Coz..u built a trust factor with the latter when he said "Sure, why not"...and its difficult to accept that you trusted the wrong party. Its only with time you realise the difference.

Often, time is a luxury everyone cant afford.

© Z.