August 30, 2005

Killer quiz.


You are an assassin.


That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. Atleast, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten.

In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't like being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you lose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes

August 29, 2005

Ouch.

When Dad went outta town,he handed over the business to Mom.Poor sweetheart of mine didnt know how to go about running it initially,but 3 months down the line when I heard her fire one of the Sales guy the other day,I thought,"Ooh la la,Mom's arrived!"

At dinner tonight Mom said,"Honey,I dont think one needs an MBA degree to run one's business...."

"Yeah,Mom" I replied,"But one surely needs it to be employed in someone else's business."

How SAD IS THAT?? :((

August 28, 2005

Arbit observation.

Noticed something today and wanted to share with all of ya.

Ever noticed that on the keyboard,'W' + 'E' and 'U' + 'I' are side by side? WE are together ; U and I are close to each other :).

August 25, 2005

Choice to choose.

I've been pondering over a point in the past few days.It's actually coz of a discussion I had with Girish.No,I wasnt pondering over why I discuss topics with him,I was pondering over (argh!) the point we were discussing...to cut the crap - Do feelings/emotions define human beings?

Are feelings responses to stimulus?Are reactions conditioned by people and surroundings? Do impulsive reactions over a period of time become instinctive responses?Do we think before we react? Why dont we? Why is the urge to react so great,that we dont bother to take a sec off and think about or rather choose how we will respond?


Since the 2nd year started,I've had all my first year pals commenting that I've changed.Am myself for the nth time posting this on my blog...I've changed...yes,I have.I dont react now,I only respond.And the response is usually well thought of before been expressed.Not that I talk in measured tones now,just the way I react to people and situations has changed.

Coming back to the topic,if a person is void of emotions and feelings is he dead?What differentiates him from a robot? Are emotions such fundamental part of our existence that their absence makes life questionable? Is it possible that since I dont feel anything for anyone anymore,therfore I'm dead? Mebbe,I choose not to respond? That's the word.

We all choose.Very few actually take the responsibility of their choices.Many blame others to have forced them to make that choice.I would say,still you chose to comply,to buckle under that pressure for whatever reasons best known to you.Compromises are a reality.But are you willing to take it on yourself for having made them?

The most common complaint would be wanting to pursue one career,but forced to choose something else coz of peer/parental/political/whatever pressure.Fine,but then dont blame the aforementioned parties for your state.You chose to go by what they said.And later blame them for making you do that.

If I dont smile at everyone,it's coz I choose not to.If I dont live upto the expectations people have of me,that's not my fault.They created those expectations,they better deal with them.If someone is surprised that I called up 4 times just to enquire about his/her well-being,it's their call.I did it,coz I wanted to.I chose to.My choices dont make me good or bad.They arnt right or wrong either.They are simply the way I choose to live.

It makes life difficult and confusing at times.The other day when a very close pal went on a rampage saying that 'I dont understand',I didnt know what to do.One side,I had a lump in my throat for having to hear that after such a close relation.On the other side,I simply withdrew.I decided,I dont have to cry.I chose not to cry.I enquired what made him say what he did,and left it at tht.I know where I'm going wrong and I dont have to cry myself to sleep thinking "how could he say tht?"...It also makes you feel like a stone.But I guess,I need to exercise my choice only when it comes to real,personal and close issues.I can always laugh without any care when something silly happens...cant I? Yes,I can :).

August 23, 2005

Good Ol' days..

I long for those days when studies were meant to be taken seriously. When I’d wake up at 4 am and mug my chapters. When sleeping without revising was blasphemy. And now, leave alone revising, if I manage to scan thru’ the allotted chapters, I send a grateful prayer to the Almighty. Sad, very sad.

Only 2 things matter – Sleeping and Staying awake. And while you are staying awake, behaving as if you are running the world. Yaawwnnn…..time to sleep..take care of this globe,someone ;).

August 11, 2005

ROFLMAO

Laughed so loudly in my Coll Lab when I read it on Hirdu's blog,that now everyone wants it in the Y! grps!!!



And my Bullet is getting some popularity in coll.Gals snidely remark it's 'OK',guys comment that I'm all set for the kill in every sense ;),and my Psych Prof enquired where I purchased it frm.He wants one for his 8yr old son.Meanwhile,Mom continues to frown at it...

August 09, 2005

Principle 4.

Before I forget,hello...am not on a preaching program!!! I already mentioned in mah Principle 1 post that these were the lil rules I was setting for MYSELF.Read that again.MYSELF.For Zarine. Toh dont blame/criticise me if you dont find them fit for yourself...and btw,after Princi 1,I've stopped listening ;).

And now the last(!!) principle for this season.Once winter strikes in 2 months,we'll (I,me and myself) will be back with a new set of the same :D.

Dont carry it too far.Yepes,that's the princi 4.I was thinking...would it be better to frame it as "Draw your lines",but for those who arnt artistically gifted,I wont make much sense.But,hey,wasnt I writing these for myself? Whatever.

What you give to a relation.What you demand from it.What you expect from the Indian cricket team.What you expect from the Meteorological Dept.What you expect from Airtel (Grrrrrr).And the likes.Dont let it cross the rational limits.Airtel service personnel believe in Hutch.High time I did too,I guess.

Work.Fun.Leisure.Food.Crib.Fool around.Everything within it's limits.Only one thing in life can be done without caring about the limits.And that is that one thing which holds your passion.Go beyond the norm for that.Baaki sabh ko control mein rakhneka.

So,the Monsoon session of my parliament has drafted these 4 princis.4 frilly skirts :D.

1.Dont let anyone disturb you.
2.Dont take it to heart.
3.Dont throw attitude.
4.Dont carry it too far.

Ouch.Too many 'Dont's'.The commitee will take care of this in the upcoming session.That set will have all 'Do's' :D.Hopefully. :)

Honestly speaking,the 2nd princi is helping me more than anything else now.When the Placement Cell guy tells you that the Bullet hanging around your neck might come across as too rebellious for companies when they come hiring,it's Ok. If he doenst like this lil metal piece,I can understand.I dont mind.He's too cute to like stuff tough people adore.YEAH!! :D :D :D

August 08, 2005

Principle 3.

Yesterday was Friendship Day.And was spent in a much better way than it was planned.One thing I really like about folks here is their "Go slow on attitude" funda.Save a handful guys,the rest of them are so amicable.None minds helping each other,be it during the routine days or the exam times.How often do we come across instances when u call up ur pal at 2 am,the morn of ur exam and say u cant make any sense of wht's happening,and he comes down to your place to help you out.Mind you,ours still isnt a residential program,so all the students are spread over the city,staying in PGs and hostels.And tht's prolly the reason why all of us dont leave the campus before 7.30-8 pm every day.Even during the summers,we would help each other across cities.

On Friendship Day too,inspite of being a sunday,the campus was bustling with activity.I had my juniors wishing me thru' SMSes.It's not as if we have a small batch size,hence are so close knit.Infact,our batch boasts of the largest student strength.700+ :).For each batch.But when crisis strikes,like the other day when a fellow student met with an accident,SMSes were shooted across the campus for blood and he got more than 150 units of it!

So,the principle number three is :- Dont throw attitude.

It doesnt help you in the long run.And man,it hurts like hell when people better than you,cut you to size.If you are good,it'll show.If you arn't good,tht'll also show ;). High attitude cant mask your real self for long.False attitude here means trying to be wht you arnt.Being snobbish.Not smiling at your friends.Not having the courtesy to reply to mails and SMSes.Thinking you are above them all.At the end of the day,you'll be just that...isolated,alone.Being down to earth takes some effort,by the way.Not to let success reach your head is as difficult as preventing the sand from getting onto your shoes on a beach.

But then dont forget one thing.Acting as if you are God's gift to mankind might make the mankind treat you royally,but they wont call you up when they celebrate their small victories. You'll miss out on the small,special moments like when a junior calls up excitedly and says,"Hey,good news man!! I've become a chacha now!! (Chacha = Paternal uncle) and all of u rush to the hospital to give the blessed couple a nice surprise! :)

Life is sweet yaar..it's us who cant take it that way.It's simple.We'd prefer complicating things and cribbing about them.We dont want to take the answers it gives and would go on an eternal search for the unknown.We cant read the writings on the wall and then complain abt life being unfair to us.More about how one can rise above his circumstances,IF HE WANTS TO,in the next post.

August 06, 2005

Principle 2.

There I blog again.Coz that's what am supposed to do with this space on www or rather http://.

Abhishek is a sweet chap in my B school.Very simple and says he never thinks too much about anything.Not a bookworm,the only books he read was Chacha Choudhary in his chunnu munnu days.Today I made him spend 40 mins in a bookstore.While I bought 'Games People Play' by Eric Berne and 'The Stranger' by Albert something (YES Girish!! I finally bought it!!),I made him buy 'The Alchemist'.Infact I told him I'll gift it to you,but he insisted on paying...dunno why guys dont take gifts from me :. It's not that I ask for return gifts!! And I also made him promise me that he'd finish it by this month end.Going by the rate Vipul completed the novel I gave him,I can expect Abhi to get back to me when his kids graduate high school.

Oh,I forgot.This post was about the second princi.Princi has a nice sound to it.Sounds like a lil frilly skirt.I guess mom was right when she said I shld've being born as a boy.Sad.So,the 2nd princi is "Don't take it to heart".

This world is full of big bad wolves.Some are handsome too,but dont let that fool you.Love with all your might.Heart breaks,let your reservoir in thy eyes also break.Cry and cry.And then say,"Get a life" and kick ass.Call up a friend and bitch.Bitch so much that the poor guy wonders why you seek so many answers."Where are the questions?",he'll ask.Right,Vipul? ;) But let him keep wondering,you keep on bitching.Then keep on blaming people left,right and center.The world sucks.Take to philosophy big time.Look into the horizons and keep mouthing,"If only....".And then you'll realise it's placement time and you dunno a F*** about the latest hot news in your sector.One thought of a being the only jobless fella in the entire batch will drive home the sense that life exists beyond your body's pumping machine.Your heart that is,for the biologically challenged folks.

Getting a life is as easy as getting a cheap electronic item without a 'Made in Taiwan' stamp.Boy,analogies keep evolving,for better or worse,time shall tell.Me shall go on till then.

Tomm is Friendship Day.Atleast on this day ,all of you, call me up yaar!! :(((

August 05, 2005

Principle 1.

Waiting for returns somehow robs life of its precious moments.Return of a loved one,return of a gesture,return of a call,a SMS,return of the Jedi..err,tht's getting too much.

Waiting for something big,eventful to happen.It never really does happen,does it? Setting huge long term goals,looking at the big picture,thinking about the future...bah...aint it boring? I never believed in planning,coz they never worked for me.All the plans I've made so far have met the same success as fish living in a frost free fridge.And the analogies I make these days suck as the Microsoft Products do.And am not talking abt their vacuum cleaner.Old joke,I know.

So,what's the point in giving ourselves the false hope of a security and control when nothing happens as per the plans? The level of comfort it brings might be a good carrot,but it's as comfortable as lying on a rock and imagining you are on cloud nine.This was bad too,I agree.Thank you.

I've decided to take lil decisions everyday.Yay.The first one is :- Not to let anyone disturb me.I dont plan to retire to the Himalayas,have heart.People can come,blame me,shout at me,call me names,dance around me,bray like donkeys let loose,shout like the sky is falling - I care 2 hoots.Let them go crazy till the cows come home.

So,a principle a day keeps mad crowds away.

I guess,an exception has to be made - My mom.She needs to stare and all principles go here and there. :(

August 02, 2005

Go go go,Goa!

Goa was fun,man!! :D..ekdum wild and wet :))

It rains without notice,rains for 15 mins,stops and again rains..!Drizzles actually.So after the first day,we all got used to it and the rain gods could do nothing to hamper our spirits :D.

Rain dance,rain shopping,rain this,rain that :)).We would simply sneek out to the beach at 1-2 am,that is if we were not dancing away to glory in some disc! But a trip to the beach,which was abt 50 meters from the resort was mandatory every night before we hit the sack.The seniors gang wanted to be there till wee hours of the morn,come back to catch a short nap and the juniors gang would be banging the door at 5.30-6 in the morn for another trip! I was seriously considering putting up at the beach itself!

Goa is all abt beaches and coconut trees!But each beach is distinctly different from the rest.Did lotsa climbing and trekking too.Visited churches and some 'Water Jail'!Food was okayish....binged on the sea food on the last day,sadly shark meat was outta stock :(.So missed out on that.

All in all,it rocked :).50 of us-20 juniors amongst them,college sponsored trip for the Achievers ;). If the perks of performing are 5 days of chilling out,away from the maddening crowd on an all expenses paid trip,boy,arnt all of us already working hard towards making it to the next Achievers conference in Jan :D!

A note of thanks to Suhail for having called up to enquire about my well being in Goa after hearing abt the landslides.That was really sweet mate :).