Alone in the crowd.
Am becoming a loner by the day.I dont like crowds,I prefer to stay away.I go to canteen 15 mins before lunch time,have my lunch and push off before the crowd starts trickling in.In the lab,I prefer occupying a system where none will disturb me while am at work.
In the Psych class today,the Prof was forming groups for the Dissertation assignment.Groups of 3 and when he announced my name with 2 others,I simply said, "Sir,I'm going all alone on this".He insisted,so did I.Either I do it alone,or I dont do it at all. Dissertation is something that requires constant focus and I cant keep running behind people asking if they're done with their part,neither do I want a change in the quality of the paper across the topic.It'll be a herculean task,considering I'll be doing the work meant for 3 people,but as long as I get to do my own thing,I dont care.I know I'll manage.
I have my friends telling me I've become impatient and very reclusive these days.Impatient....if wanting to get the work done on time,come hell or high water is impatience,so be it.As for being reclusive....umm...I think am coming back to my elements.I rem'ber telling quite a few pals of mine how I hate talking too much.There were times when my presence was felt in a crowd/class coz of my communication skills.It's the same now,just that more than speaking too much,am speaking sense now.And when I dont think I can contribute,I prefer keeping my trap shut rather than making CP for the heck of it.
They feel am depressed these days.I feel,am beginning to realise things.Dont take anything at face value anymore.Will talk about a phenomena called "Transactional Analysis" sometime soon.
Then when someone asked me abt the number of friends I had,I would quote a 3 digit figure! Now the number doesnt go beyond 3 fingers.It's not that I've lost them,I've realised what 'Being Friends' is all about.Though the people who matter has come down,the extent to which I can go for them has increased by infinite times.
They feel I've become more serious.I feel I've grown.That line has started making more sense,"It never was about them,it always was about you." Finally,I have started mattering to me.
In the Psych class today,the Prof was forming groups for the Dissertation assignment.Groups of 3 and when he announced my name with 2 others,I simply said, "Sir,I'm going all alone on this".He insisted,so did I.Either I do it alone,or I dont do it at all. Dissertation is something that requires constant focus and I cant keep running behind people asking if they're done with their part,neither do I want a change in the quality of the paper across the topic.It'll be a herculean task,considering I'll be doing the work meant for 3 people,but as long as I get to do my own thing,I dont care.I know I'll manage.
I have my friends telling me I've become impatient and very reclusive these days.Impatient....if wanting to get the work done on time,come hell or high water is impatience,so be it.As for being reclusive....umm...I think am coming back to my elements.I rem'ber telling quite a few pals of mine how I hate talking too much.There were times when my presence was felt in a crowd/class coz of my communication skills.It's the same now,just that more than speaking too much,am speaking sense now.And when I dont think I can contribute,I prefer keeping my trap shut rather than making CP for the heck of it.
They feel am depressed these days.I feel,am beginning to realise things.Dont take anything at face value anymore.Will talk about a phenomena called "Transactional Analysis" sometime soon.
Then when someone asked me abt the number of friends I had,I would quote a 3 digit figure! Now the number doesnt go beyond 3 fingers.It's not that I've lost them,I've realised what 'Being Friends' is all about.Though the people who matter has come down,the extent to which I can go for them has increased by infinite times.
They feel I've become more serious.I feel I've grown.That line has started making more sense,"It never was about them,it always was about you." Finally,I have started mattering to me.
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