The AH Tag

Mike suggested I take up the A$$hole tag. Not a bad idea. But the toughest part is selecting 5 from so many! ;)...So, without much delay here I go...

A-H #1.

He's thin,scrawny. He's a jat. And I HATE HIM!!!! At the beginning he would talk to me as if he has all copyrights on anything 'Zarine'. One guy who carries his heart on his sleeve. It so happened one day that 2 gals he 'hits' on were in the same group (urs truly was one). So, our Jat comes. Me ignored him. He looks at S in a Dev Anand - head -tilted- manner, and starts his gibberish.

S :- A, shut up,will u?
A :- Arey,boora maan gayi?
S :- Tu har ladki ko yehi kehta hai na?
A :- Hum to har ghat ki pooja karte hain (sic).. kyun,Zarine??
Z :- Dont ask me...mein ghat ghat ka paani peene walon se baat nahi karti!

*(the group laughs)*..YAY! :P


A.S #2

Yeh,another one who thinks I'm dying to talk to him. He met me online the other day.

R :- Hi Zarine
Z :- Hi
R:- Why didnt u tell me it was J's b'day?
Z:- I didnt rem'ber myself.
R:-You are the eigth wonder of this world!
Z:- Hmmm.BTW,did u visit Vishu?
R:- No,I didnt. Will do in the eve...I just returned from my place.
Z:- Good that you know.
R:- But how did u guess that I already know abt his accident?
Z:- Huh? It's common sense,go figure out urself.
R:- No,no,tell me!
Z:- Dude,if u didnt know..u'd have asked me the need to visit Vishu,right???
R:- That I WOULD HAVE ASKED...BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW I ALREADY KNEW???

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A.S # 3.

This fella gives me the creeps.

V:- Jareen, jara ruko toh.
Z :- Haan...kya?
V :- Jara tumhare notes mil sakte hain?
Z :- Notes??? I never maintain notes.Sorry.Bye.
V :- Nahi suno...
Z :- What??
V :- Labour Law ki texbook de sakti ho kya?
Z :- Kyun library mein nahi hai?
V :- Nahi,aapki chahiye..
Z :- *Stares at him* Nahi milegi...aur ek baar raasta roka na,fir dekhna!!
V :- Par Jareen suno toh....Strategy ke case hi dedo..
Z :- SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



A.S # 4.

How can I forget this chap!! It was during my final year Grads that I decided to take up some certification course in Networking. CCNA was the obvious choice. While scouting the newspaper for Institutes offering the same,I zeroed onto one. Later that week,I paid a visit to this place. One of the batches which had just finished its certification was celebrating. One of them walks upto me.

Z :- Am intrested in the CCNA course,can you tell me who's the person in charge here?
M :- Welll....ahh...he's just gone out...you can ask me...yes??
Z :- Um? Ok.
*I shoot out all the Qs*
*He clarifies most of them*
Z :- Alright then. I'll get back, incase I have any more queries.

* I fill in the student form and walk out*

Next day,I get a call from this Inst.
M :- Hi Zarine.
Z :- Yeh..Tell me?
M :- What have you decided about the course?
Z :- Well,I dont think I'm intrested anymore. I'll be pursuing MBA instead. Thanks anyway.
M:- Oh..that' sad.

*After some more useless talk,he hangs up*

Now I start getting his calls on my landline. 3 days down and I decide enough. He calls up.

M:- Hi Zarine.
Z :- Hi M. You know,I cant understand the reason behind these calls. I think I already told you,am not intrested in the course!
M :- Zarine...dont you understand things which cant be said? (O really???! Try telepathy!!)
Z :- No, I cant. I prefer having things explicitly stated...get that?
M :- Hmm. You know...can we meet sometime?
Z :- Yeah,right! Let me ask my fiance. He has come down for dinner today...you wanna ask him directly?? (I hate it..but tht's the last resort!!)

*Line disconnects*
And thankfully no more calls!



A.H # 5

A gal,for a change ;). Boy..she's a royal pain !!! I never thought I'd be stalked by a gal !! I see her in the corridor and fled in the opposite direction. If any of you has seen 'Judaai', u'd rem'ber Paresh Rawal's character in it. That's how she is.

P :- Hiiii Zarine.... (*strange wistful look*!)
Z :- Hi P ( searching for a way to run)
P :- Kya hai...aaj kal baat hi nahi karti ho (*wistful look turns into a sad one*)
Z :- Err..? Nahi..aise hi...u know how hectic it is. I did tr...
P :- Kyun...? Maine kuch keh diya kya? (*Sad look turns into a hurt one*)
Z :- Arey yaar...tu light lena...woh dekh Aarthi..usko pakad..!
P :- Zarine...par...
Z :- Lemme go!!!!!!!! (* I would start crying any moment now!!*)


Jeeeeezzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!

And I sure did enjoy writing this one!! ;). Would tag Ranjitha and any femme blogger with this one. :D :D :D

Comments

Anonymous said…
Had a real good laugh with this one...
I have seen some of these specimens,too.
But I am sure these are not the only ones to grace Planet Earth; coz God was in full creative flow while making these types.
Whay say, Z?
Anonymous said…
loved it :)
None of these AHs believe in minding their own business...LIfe would be soo easy if ppl *just* let others BE

:)
Susie
Anonymous said…
Aah! The nightmare memories of AHes. To qyote Sixth Sense while summing up what Susie said, "I see AHes. They're everywhere. They don't even know they're AHes..."

Nice one... I look forward to seeing this tag spread. It's fun to do and fun to read :-))...Thank you..Jareeen... ;-)
Anonymous said…
lol, that was funny :)), some remind me of dharamjeet prasad from the yesteryears.
Anonymous said…
LOL...Good one...More than the honorable AHs, i loved the tag title ;)
Anonymous said…
That was funny:)
Anonymous said…
This was some new tag...: )
Anonymous said…
me bak after a sabbatical ! :)
wats up wid yu lady..
Anonymous said…
Lol..abh kya bolun..I enjoyed writing this one as much as u folks while reading it :)

@ Apurv - Ouch..! BTW, that chapter refuses to close ;)

@ Subbu,Manish - Take it up,if u like it :)
Anonymous said…
try script writing for bollywood .. ! suits u! :).. u R diff.
Anonymous said…
if there were anyone of those guys in my group

as#1 :( - i am actually the S type

as#2 : man wud have been the main victim of leg-pullings - real dumbo.

as#3 : wud have teased him to the hell.

as#4 : wud have got a kick in ....

as#5 : iske toh aaspaas bhi nahin bhatak ta.
Anonymous said…
U angry grrl :P
Anonymous said…
Wow!
Anonymous said…
@ PyRo - Umm...good idea ;)

@ paddy - Lol..I bet had u been in my place,each one of them would have had a harrowing experience :))

@ ranjan - Welll..u know, I cant stand such folks :)

@ Anil - Thanks and where's ur new blog located??? :)
Anonymous said…
I was laughing away to glory in my office... People gave me weird looks :|
Anonymous said…
@ Johnny - Return those weird looks right back ;)

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