April 23, 2010

Pearls of Wisdom from Hiring team

If you cant fix it, forget it

After a long time...

As the feather floats eerily into the room
I look upon and wonder
Where did I see this one before?

As it gradually agrees with its gravity
I hold my gaze steadfast
Does this bring some ol memories to the fore?

As it glides on, slowly but surely
I ponder...
do I hold on or let go?

The dainty being settles to its fate
I cant tear away
Can the connect now built be foregone?

As its poised calmly at its shore
I send my thoughts across
May they rest with thee, dear feather...

For they no longer belong to me

© Z.

April 16, 2010

What to do!

They extended my stay here by 3 months. So I'll be back by Aug end.

My first reaction to this news was "Uh Oh".

Mebbe I should've been happy abt it...that they like my work and want me to do some more projects (read dirty my hands more) for them, but what concerned me was Vish. And his reaction...confirmed my fears.

My poor baby :(...

© Z.

April 13, 2010

Oh my handsome kid...

A good ol' friend has been after my life to post this...trust her to come up with weird ideas!!

Now what exactly is it?? Its a letter to your kid..yeh, beat that! :D So I'm to write a letter to my kid and tell him (yes, i want a boy) of all the gyan i learnt in my life. I think I can redirect him to this blog and he'll stop taking his mom seriously.

Ok..what pearls of wisdom do I have for my lil devil...lemme dig the treasure trove of my mind :P..ah..here they are :-

  1. Learn to deal with Cognitive Dissonance (hahahaha)
  2. There will always be a right thing to do and a good thing to do...unless u screw urself coz of the latter, u wont realise the wisdom of the former
  3. Love your parents...they cleaned after your shit
  4. Serious one - Dont let anyone tell you that you cant do something. And dont take everything that everyone tells seriously
  5. Have friends...lots of them...but have a circle u can bank on to pull the rug from right under ur feet when u r having  a ball of a time ;)
  6. Money aint all that great...experiences are
  7. Read. Whatever. But read. Voraciously.
  8. Pray...that's the only thing that can save your sorry ass ;)
  9. Dont be shy of taking risks...you are the product of one (hahahahhaha)
  10. Dont make a big fuss out of failure. Or success.
  11. Dont be stingy with love & laughter..spread both...with necessary precautions ;)

Thats all I can think of...!! :D And I know with scoundrels like Nikhil and Vipul around...all the good effect that Seema, Zareena and Chinnu will have, will rub off. Vish and I will also cancel each other out. Suhail will be too busy with his dozen. So the kid is at his own mercy :D. God bless him. :)

© Z.

April 10, 2010

I have run out of words to express myself. They all sound the same now. I'm like a piece of parched land, with nothing to offer to the life that sprouts from it. I'm so fatigued... with the insecurities and anxiousness that I have been living with for years now.

The tipping point sometimes just comes by. Its may not always be grand or significant. A tiny grain of sand can tilt the scales.

These hands dont have the strength to raise to the Lord and ask of Him...am so tired of asking. Its not that He hasnt provided me...but more often than not its like an SOS call to 911. Help arrives in time...but the experience leaves you exasperated. Its a close call. All the time.

I'm tired of being nice to people..of caring about everyone around...of thinking about them and their thoughts and their well being. I'm tired of thinking what will happen of me....I'm tired of thinking what will not happen of me...I'm tired of trying to provide to thankless people...I'm tired of thinking of what do I need to do to make up for any wrong I've done...I'm tired of thinking that I am the one who has to understand and adjust...I'm tired of trying to put myself in the other person's shoes...I'm tired of justifying others irate behavior towards me...I'm tired of thinking what could I do to make up to my folks...I'm tired of thinking how to get my bro back...how to make my sis happy...how to make mom happy...how to make my extended family happy...how to make up for any shit they go through...of feeling guilty for making them go through any, in the first place...of thinking how it all seems like a dead end...of what I'm fighting for...and at what cost...am tired of weighing my happiness against everyone else's...of trying to make the one I'm fighting for pay for it...of trying to constantly assure myself that everything will be alright...of cribbing...of running to friends for assurances...of constantly being on the edge...of thinking that what I have done isnt wrong...or right...or judging myself...of letting others judge me

I'm done. I give up. I'm totally devoid of emotions at this point.

April 01, 2010


All this traveling is making me mighty depressed.

© Z.