February 20, 2010


Step 4 done!!! Kick ass!!!

© Z.

I need this!

Please..I pray to the Almighty...let me not wander...let me not get tempted...let me not go astray...let me...please please let me finish Step 4 today... Jeez..I just have 3 hours to do that!!

 © Z.

February 17, 2010


Step 3 done!! Dhin chak dhin chak dhin dhin!!


This post is dedicated to Zareen Kazim.

Babes, I salute the way u manage to stay happy and spread cheers inspite of all the crap u face. I really pray God grants us all with such perseverance and blesses you with happiness and love that is clearly overdue.

You make me want to do stay happy and shrug away all the bad things in life!

*Standing Ovation* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*

© Z.

February 15, 2010

Corp (Crap) Life

I caught up with a colleague from my previous business unit and as usual, gossip was in the air. Somethings never cease to surprise me. How being visible matters more than being efficient. How some business decisions are made just to appease to some big guy’s senses. How slogging your ass off is no guarantee for any acknowledgement, leave alone recognition. How for some people their positions and titles mean so much, that they are willing to be as mean as possible. How its easy to stab your peer in the back…and how hollow people can be.


What amazes me is…how difficult is it for people to be nice?? To simply acknowledge that someone did a good job…to be courteous. Why are people so secretive about their promotions and movements? Why cant an organization be confident enough to be transparent? Why do people hush about someone’s growth? Why doesn’t that person him/herself talk about it unless asked?


I used to think that maybe I wasn’t up to it…but now when I see a pattern emerging, I realize…I didn’t want to be part of something like this. It’s not me…it’s how they are. Insecure.


Jeez. I guess my latest stand on not taking my job seriously is right. Not the people, not the dynamics. Nothing’s worth it. And to measure one’s worth by depending on such a set is humiliating to self. Life cant be just this. Experiences cant be just this. Happiness definitely cant be this. Life outside work is no more a choice. It’s critical if you wanna survive and be sane.

February 11, 2010

Some day in Feb '10

Being by yourself can do weird things to your mind. Besides wondering what to do next, you find yourself often being sucked into the past. People, moments, thoughts, incidents. And if there's any particular song, which meant something back then on the playlist, then the roller coaster ride is guaranteed. It's like a pause in a life playing in fast forward. 

I am still stuck in Step 3. Being more than 2 weeks since I studied spanish. Tengo que aprender mas espanol pronto.

I wish I was paid a rupee everytime someone had "Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance, I wanna grow up again" status messages! And invariably, they'd be a couple of folks who'll 'like' this status. What's wrong with people? Was their growing up so fucked up that they'd wanna do it again...or mebbe it was so awesome, that they'd live it again?!

When I think about my past...I am so fine with it. There's no part I wanna do again. I just want those people who were part of it then to be part of my life forever. I've been doing some serious reading lately...and atleast started on "Learn all religions" journey. It's so simple man...God made it so simple for us...and yet we choose to complicate things. But yeah...it's tough to be simple. To be honest and good.

I also learned something more in the last 2 months. How crisis can show a person's true colors. How much resentment and angst people keep within their hearts for years together. How those pent up feelings show up suddenly and wash away so much with them. They leave behind trails of feelings and relations destructed. But then, we humans have a wonderful attribute of forgiveness. All may then seem hunky dory...but its not. A broken mirror can never do away with the crack, no matter how well its fixed. It's all parked somewhere in the mind, to be brought up when the next opportune moment arrives.

I often try to forgive, though I seldom forget. That's a burden of a different kind.

Bah. That was one long blue post. I wanna go for a long walk now.

© Z.