August 31, 2006

Waiting...

I look forward to the day
When I can forgive myself
For all the promises not kept
For all the memories forgotten.

I look forward to the day
When I can dance my heart out
Sing to my soul's content
And not care what they're thinking.

I look forward to the day
When I can smile
Inspite of knowing that I failed
Inspite of knowing that I'm weak.

I look forward to the day
When my resilence gives strength
Everytime I give in,
And to everyone who gives up.

I look forward to the day
When I will not wake up with my mind occupied
With the past follies
With the future make-ups.

I look forward to the day
When today will matter more
When past gives me reasons to smile
When future gives me hope to live on...

I look forward to the day
When I shall not measure myself
Against standards set by them
Against perfection.

I look forward to the day
When relativity ceases to exist
In my existence
In my relations.

I look forward to the day
When I can smile
With just a thought of a pal
With just a thought of myself.

I look forward to the day
When I seek the joy of fulfilment
The joy of completeness
From myself.

I look forward to living without the guilt of living for myself.


© Zarine.

August 29, 2006

'KANK'y stuff.

When I first saw the trailers, I developed disgust for this movie. Yet another mega starrer-tear jerker. Why cant they use stars for a better purpose?!

On a sad sunday noon, me and mom decided to watch this one. All geared up for a sloppy show, I left the theater thinking "Finally, Bollywood is growing up."

I found the movie interesting. Because it had so many flawed characters. None was perfect..(Abhishek came close to being the perfect man, but the night he makes Rani realize her 'inadequacies', lo..! he's one amongst us.)

I wonder...

  • If SRK would've fallen in love with Rani if she was a successful woman, like his wifey.
  • If Abhishek ever cared to look beyond his own nose. "I love..I love..I love..; She doesnt...she doesnt...she doesnt." Ever cared to find out why she doesnt...?
  • Why couldnt Rani get over her obsession with "Love" and cast one caring glance at her hubby...
  • If their (SRK and Rani's) love was so true and strong, why didnt they tell it all and walk out on their partners, instead of leaving each other-crying copious tears in front of their partners-getting ditched-staying all alone for goddamned 3 years?
  • Why after 3 years it was "Oh my god, he's alone..am alone too...lets unite!" sorta convenient thingie?
  • Why do Abhi and Preity feel they could decide for their partners as well?
  • Why couldnt Preity slow down and match SRK's pace in life? You cant live life your own way, and then say "he doesnt understand."

Am sure, many more would pop up... but this movie made me more averse to the whole marriage syst. It's just too demanding on one's nerves..!!


© Zarine.

August 12, 2006

Tale mein twist

Yeee Hawww.

Some post the last post was. Poor ol' Z sounded as the most wretched creature on Earth! Sob, sob.

Hehehehe, raat gayi baat gayi..:D Saari bhadaas nikaal di uss post mein...now it seems so light within..

Oww kaay...Apun ki life mein ek twist aaya hai...jiski agar sahi angle pe banking nahi ki to accident hojayega :D

So while I negotiate this curve...keep zooooommmming folks..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo!


© Zarine.

August 04, 2006

For no reason.

Hi.Am down. For a very personal and strange reason. For a reason that none is to blamed. For a reason that it was none’s fault. For a reason that Life sucks. For a reason that whenever I choose to be close to what I like…Life smirks at me. For a reason that I can never get to do what I really want to do. For a reason when my heart wants to speak out and reach out to someone, I face a vacuum. For a reason that I am alone when I want to celebrate an occasion with someone I want to… For a reason that Life has decided that I stay the Loner that I am. For the reason that every happiness I want is delayed. For a reason that I don’t feel the happiness when it actually happens. For a reason that the fire within me is dead by the time its time comes. For a reason that reaffirms my faith in the thing that what I really love and hold dear shall always stay away from me. For a reason that those who love me have to be kept at a distance, ‘coz I cant get them close. For the reason that when I want to get them close, I have to distance away from that which is precious and already close to me. For a reason that Zarine shall always long in her life. For a reason that Zarine doesn’t celebrate her success. For a reason that Zarine isn’t surprised when she fails. For a reason that Zarine sleeps alone and lonely. For a reason that Zarine cries by herself. For a reason that Zarine is looked upon to be strong…for she is her only anchor. For the reason that what she anchors on itself is dependant on her. For occasions like this when the kid within is hurt. For the fact that it gives up on Hope. For the reason that everytime it hoped from deep within, the hope died infront of its eyes. For the fact that Life gave her a life of ‘penny wise, pound foolish’.For she gets small stuff but is denied everything big. For the fact that none expects her to crib. For the reason that she doesn’t know if she should expect anything from anyone at all. For a small hope that gets killed in one shot. For none’s fault. For the fact that she hopes people read this and feel sorry for her. Worry about her. And she’d fool them into believing that everything’s alright and she’s a strong gal. Yet again. For she can never accept the fact that she can be hurt too…none can…For the reason that I dunno why something so private needs to be posted. For the reason that I hope it reaches out to someone who’d save me from myself. For the reason that I’d let someone like this enter my life. For the reason that I wont let anyone come tht close to me. For the reason that I choose to be the Loner that Life wants me to be.

For a joke called Life. For a puppet called Zarine. For a Hand called God.


© Zarine.