March 26, 2010


I overheard this at work today. An agitated senior manager screaming at his team “Please!! I WANT you to participate voluntarily…do u get that???”


Wah. This is called ‘enabling employees’ ;) ;) ;)



March 17, 2010


Wheee!! I just accidentally discovered where Operations stores Snickers bars for ‘On Spot Recognition’!!! Here’s to happiness filled days ahead!! :D :D :D




March 10, 2010

U get it wrong, Senora!

Latest from my boss.


We were discussing launching a retention contest. I asked her how many voluntary and involuntary attritions we had. She says “Lot of involuntary and few voluntary”. I was like,”really?? We ask so many people to leave??”  To which she replies…”No no..u get the meaning wrong. We don’t want them to leave and hence the involuntary attrition is more”.


I and the Ops guys could stop laughing for few mins outside her cabin :D

March 09, 2010

I love hot chocolate!

I came back from work and headed for the hotel lounge. I was generally browsing through FB, et al and ordering nachos in steaming cheese with a cuppa hot chocolate (yes, feel jealous, thats the whole point ;) ) when I thought of making this post. Its a serious kinda post.

A good ol friend gets married this month. Dude, you have been part of my life and part of this blog. We wish you a content life ahead...the one where each moment is cherishable.

Which brings me to the point that all the readers of this blog are single. Now that this dude gets married, mebbe we should revoke his access to this blog :P

Have we ever thought how greedy we can get in life? more often than not this leads to not so good situations. when a guy and gal are good friends, when does it change to love? when do u know u r crossing the line? what is it about the relation that makes them want to take things forward at the risk of their friendship?all the guys i was in love with were my friends once, except for one. with tht bloke, i still cant figure out what came or realization of the contrary!(dont worry he doesnt have access to this u know its not YOU!) full of crap man!! ;)))

So the thing I  was wondering is when do u know its beyond love and when things dont work do u switch gears, reverse back from the diversion and get on the main street of friendship? How does it not get bitter? Im sure it my case they did. but with the ones i really valued, i tried not to end things...though managing that aspect of the relation was nothing less than steering a ship in the storm.c'mon...u couldnt end up being married so what??? Whatever.

Why am I making this post? Have I lost it? Am I high? chocolate does these things to me man...!Well, the point is..its my blog and i damn well will write what i want to.ha!

So the thing is overrated. friendship rules. so if any of u thinks of going around with a good ready for the high voltage stuff that will follow. not everyone can handle it.

And for all the dearies who have gone thru this shit...well..u survived...cheers to life man!! And to many more eligible guys and gals. (Honey, this post is for all the others..not for us..dont worry :P)

© Z.


Breaking News – Bryan is trying to flirt around with me. Yooo.Hoooo.


Kiska rasta dekhe aey dil aey saudaai

The lush green scenery reflects back at me from work station…I look ahead and see row and rows of workstations. Sometimes when I have time, I go thru the site…dunno, that site has become a habit…if I don’t have anything to do, I head to it. Not an active contributor anymore, but like reading articles there.


So there’s one thread on “No IIM calls even after 99%ile - All izz not well”.  This thread has candidates ranting on the IIM selection methodology and how their lives are now ruined…so much hard work, still no call.


Circa 2003, when we were preparing for CAT, the IIMs did seem like the most important thing ever. Then getting a good summer placement, then a good job, then a good salary, then a good position, then a promotion, a better salary, a better position, a better promotion. 4 years have gone by since MBA days and I see the futility of it all. Being in HR allows you an exclusive view of the organization. Ha! So every time anyone talks about performance linked bonuses, you stifle a laugh.


Somehow my belief of not making my job my life seems more and more right these days. Though I’m afraid that should this attitude make me complacent, I wont have a life thanks to not having a job.


I’m reading this book “Dork” which Nikhz shared with me. Every night when I cant sleep, I read that book. It’s an awesome lullaby. I have finished 24 pages in 10 days so far…yeh..thats all it takes…roughly 2 pages of that book to put me to sleep. I had expected so much better from Sidin, but he falls into the trap of “chetan bhagat style humour”. I have to force myself to read this book. Its so bad. But good, if you want to go to sleep. Everything has its use, I guess.


I miss reading Nikhil’s blog…dude is it possible u input my work id and direct the feeds there..I cant access it from my work site and I don’t have a personal laptop.


I know u love me. Till next time…hasta luego.


Ps – the title has no was just a song I was humming while drumming away at the keypad.




March 03, 2010

Day 3

Hey folks,


Well, today’s the third day at work and not much is happening… in I met my boss on the first day and got my deliverables for the next three months…just that what I got for three months is something I can finish my march end itself. And I don’t want to tell her that and add more stuff to my list coz am sure, she’ll keep passing ad hoc stuff to me anyways.


She’s an amazing lady, my boss. Her English amazes everyone. I intend to capture all those gems as and when they’re spoken and pass them on for greater human good. Some stuff she’s said till now:


“Carlos, I know you going but when you come back, for this project, I want u on top of me”


“Yesterday and today I will be going early to home on personal high”


“Are you kidding me my job”


“Can you mail me this so I can flag the pole”


Could only get these many in the cumulative 20 mins that I’ve had with her on 2 days. Shall keep updating, though. BTW, she thinks the task of processing letters in MS word for 300 employees, with their emp details and bonuses in MS Excel format, would take me 2 weeks. I make a note to not introduce her to Mail Merge.


I’ve been talking to the ERMs here and they totally don’t like her. The poor team is so high on will but low on skill. Pankaj (AVP, HR) would be in next week…actually, its coz Pankaj is coming and will hold the fort for a year atleast, is why most of my deliverables have been revisited. Suzzette has 3 items which she might pass onto me once she discusses it with Pankaj. So, work might gradually increase in the coming weeks.


Might most prolly move into an apartment by weekend…lets see.


Ah! There you go…Ma’am has just sent 2 more deliverables on which she’d ‘want to know my thoughts’. Does “I don’t want to do them” work?


Cya later guys,




March 01, 2010

Day 1 at Work

Got up at 5.30 am…on the way to work at 7.


Arrive at the facility at around 7.25…just one team member is in..Cindy. By the way, let me introduce you to my team here..


Suzzette – my boss

Cindy, Ana, Jennifer, Bryan.


Bryan is so delectable that post our first meeting I wanted to eat something!! :- ))))


I have this increasingly sinking feeling everytime I meet my team members…they jump around that I’m here and how much they need me and how they are all stuck and which basically means we are screwed and cant figure out how to escape and thanks for replacing our ass with yours.


Ok baby..lets see how it goes.

Journey So Far you doing? (somehow, everytime I say that, I picture Joey!)


This is gonna be a lengthy post with every gory detail captured (yes, am excited!!)


Ah! Did the last 30 hours just fly by?? I rem’ber being told by all and sundry that the 15 hours flight to US would be excruciatingly boring and then a halt of 4 hours followed by another 5 hours flight would turn me into a well done steak. Hmm…but actually, the one thing that I seldom scolded myself for came to my rescue. My inane ability to SLEEP. Anywhere, Anytime. So during the fifteen hours flight to the US…I was wide awake in the first hour…slightly drowsy by the second and post dinner, completely in slumber. Which lasted a good 10 hours :D. Well yeah, there were intermittent breaks coz of people wanting to move around and also since the first 2 hours of my sleep were uncomfortable due the position. But I remember being surprised and impressed by myself that I could so easily adjust and how comfortable the whole set up was for a nap (I told this to myself in the sleep!!)


I had good neighbours for company. Shirley on the right, some ol Indian uncle on the left. So whenever I wasn’t sleeping or checking the inflight entertainment, we’d talk (which u’d figure, wasn’t much!) But Shirley was a surprise. She was an American and was so courteous that I began to doubt her after a while! Nice lady. Uncle was also nice with his usual Indian style of conversation which begans with “What’s wrong with the world”. But he too helped me fill up the Customs form and am grateful to him for that.


So the DEL-EWR part of the journey was smooth. Infact, I noticed that turbulence doesn’t bother me if a Shahid Kapoor movie is playing :D. Cool. though we departed an hour late, we arrived just in time at Newark at around 5 am local time. The Customs was a breeze. I checked in for the Guatemala flight and made some calls. (Note – Not the police guys in the airport, or the passengers or the security is aware how the phones in those booths work!!) I had to spend some time figuring it out…but chalo..calls made..I went about exploring the airport. I spotted McD’s and decided to give it a shot to see if there was any difference in the Indian and US service standards. Well, Yes. The coffee is much better, much creamier and same goes for the burgers. I sat there for 40 mins…just looking around and taking in the sights when I spotted Ben & Jerry’s. I totally cursed myself for not checking it out before the McD’s meal :-( …I wanted to try their “Ben & Jerry’s Belgium Dark Chocolate Ice cream” (wink wink) but was full and didn’t want an upset tummy on the trip  :-|


I passed time listening to some music and then boarded for the last leg of the journey. I wasn’t expecting a window seat and voila, didn’t get it either! Just kidding :D…I had a nice window view and again, touchwood Mashallah, a nice neighbour. This lady was American, worked as a nurse all her life and now was part of an organization which volunteered for social causes in Guatemala. We hit off pretty well…she showed me all the pictures of the work they do and must say, it was pretty impressive. For an hour or so, we discussed about her work in Antigua. And then we started discussing America and Indians. :D. She started on how seldom there’s any Univ topper who’s not an Asian or an Indian. How these kids are always acing their academics and learning languages and learning music and some more and some more! The American kids often get under pressure coz of the Asians. It was a good discussion wherein we discussed how the education system equals brilliance with straights A’s. She was from the school which believed that living a quality life was more important than being a topper in everything u did. So it was a typical “3 Idiots” kinda discussion. We then discussed about American way of life and the Indian. She also said how these days being American wasn’t so cool and everyone hated them. I told her how misplaced her thoughts were and she should pay a visit to India to learn how much we adore Amreekans. We talked about Indian rituals and American rituals and everything in between. And oh, by the way, she asked me if I had learnt English in the US coz I spoke it so well! Ahem. Francamente, even I was surprised at the compliment ;- ). Then I told her that in India, its normal for people to know 2-3 languages, English included and she went “Why am I not surprised!?” ;- ) .


Meanwhile the scenery outside was so breathtakingly beautiful! Esp the part when we crossed the Atlantic Ocean and entered Guatemala…it was like…velvety rich brown mountains on the left, blackish sand in the middle and pristine blue ocean to the right…wow! Sorry, no pictures captured as the cam was in the bag overhead and I didn’t want to miss these moments in scurrying for it and trying to capture the best angle. Sorry again.


The landing was another adventure. The journey was smooth so far but as we approached the Guatemala City airport, Judith (my neighbor) was already nervous. The plane started shaking (?) in all directions….I couldn’t figure out why coz there were no clouds…we were just 2-3K feet above the ground. We went right and then 180 deg to the left, up and down…it was like those horrible adventures rides I so hate. As we approached the runaway, the plane did some more disco moves and on landing, we all got pushed to the front due to the sudden halting or something…this lasted for some 15 seconds and trust me, Judith was in tears. As soon as the plane stopped, the passengers started clapping!! Reminded me of my watan (sigh, nostalgic already!). Infact, I used to think that we Indians are the only morons who stand up in the aisles as soon as the plane stops…but no Sir! The Americans do it, so do the Spanish and Guats. So it’s a social global phenomena. :D


We arrived 1.30 pm local time. The Customs at Guat was smooth too and I decided to test some of my Spanish. Err…welll…learning by yourself on the Net is so different from actually speaking it with those who have an accent! So the customs guy (CG) and me went like


CG : Bienvenidos (welcome)

Me : Gracias (thanks)

CG : something something in Spanish

Me:  Umm?

CG : *smiles* Espanol?

Me : Yo hablo espanol un poco (I speak spanish a little. This I had read on one of the cust rep’s badge and then added “the little” improvisation)

CG : Oh.

We both look at each other.

CG : It’s okay! You’ll like Guatemala!

Me : Muy bien. Mucho Gracias (that’s nice, thanks so much)


I scurry out and to my disappointment..I have to repeat the same sentence every where… “yo hablo espanol un poco” :- (. One of the guys at the baggage clearance asked me where I was from. “India”. “Oh India! We are so similar…we have so much in common!” he beamed. I smiled back thinking “Yeh, wish u spoke Hindi as well and then we’d be like 2 lost brothers separated at birth by the oceans!!”


The guy from the hotel was there, waiting for me. Roberto was his name. I tried impressing him with my Spanish…hehehehe…he liked it. You need some practice, are doing fine, he said. :D. And yeh, he told me that I had a cheerful face and I smiled from my heart unlike most people who faked it. I gave him a big grin. :D


At the hotel, I checked in and called Glenda, a colleague from Philippines who was also putting up there. She came over, we chatted and ordered some lunch. Grilled Fish Fillet with stewed vegetables and Chicken Breast Salad. And we got Grilled Chicken Breast and Vegetable salad. The funniest part was when the waiter showed us the dishes, asked us with a beaming face on how nicely they were presented. We looked at each other…and were “Muy Bien! Me encata! Gracias!” (Very nice! I like it! Thanks!) Its another story that first the grilled chicken and coke arrived and they completely forgot about the salad. So we had to do this routine of “wow!” twice coz the poor waiter really wanted us to like the stuff.


All this while, we had the CNN on coz Chile was stuck with an earthquake and there was a Tsunami warning for Hawaii. The Americans recorded every inch of increase/decrease in the water level till both of us dozed off. Jennifer from the HR team here had called to check if I had arrived and wanted to go was so sweet of her. We decided we’d go out at 6…and she called me at 6.30 to check if the plans were still on :P. Thanks to CNN, I was so deep in slumber, I told her we’d go around on Sunday. So let’s see…how that goes.


I’ve been at this article for almost an hour now…it’s 6.20 am here. I don’t have a net connection, so this might reach the blog later. Breakfast beckons. And I broke my specs… :- (. Thank god, I had spares.


All in all…its been good so far. Mashallah. Glenda and I would go apartment hopping sometime this week and might check out by fin de semana (this weekend).


Till then…Hasta Luego….!!