Choice to choose.

I've been pondering over a point in the past few days.It's actually coz of a discussion I had with Girish.No,I wasnt pondering over why I discuss topics with him,I was pondering over (argh!) the point we were cut the crap - Do feelings/emotions define human beings?

Are feelings responses to stimulus?Are reactions conditioned by people and surroundings? Do impulsive reactions over a period of time become instinctive responses?Do we think before we react? Why dont we? Why is the urge to react so great,that we dont bother to take a sec off and think about or rather choose how we will respond?

Since the 2nd year started,I've had all my first year pals commenting that I've changed.Am myself for the nth time posting this on my blog...I've changed...yes,I have.I dont react now,I only respond.And the response is usually well thought of before been expressed.Not that I talk in measured tones now,just the way I react to people and situations has changed.

Coming back to the topic,if a person is void of emotions and feelings is he dead?What differentiates him from a robot? Are emotions such fundamental part of our existence that their absence makes life questionable? Is it possible that since I dont feel anything for anyone anymore,therfore I'm dead? Mebbe,I choose not to respond? That's the word.

We all choose.Very few actually take the responsibility of their choices.Many blame others to have forced them to make that choice.I would say,still you chose to comply,to buckle under that pressure for whatever reasons best known to you.Compromises are a reality.But are you willing to take it on yourself for having made them?

The most common complaint would be wanting to pursue one career,but forced to choose something else coz of peer/parental/political/whatever pressure.Fine,but then dont blame the aforementioned parties for your state.You chose to go by what they said.And later blame them for making you do that.

If I dont smile at everyone,it's coz I choose not to.If I dont live upto the expectations people have of me,that's not my fault.They created those expectations,they better deal with them.If someone is surprised that I called up 4 times just to enquire about his/her well-being,it's their call.I did it,coz I wanted to.I chose to.My choices dont make me good or bad.They arnt right or wrong either.They are simply the way I choose to live.

It makes life difficult and confusing at times.The other day when a very close pal went on a rampage saying that 'I dont understand',I didnt know what to do.One side,I had a lump in my throat for having to hear that after such a close relation.On the other side,I simply withdrew.I decided,I dont have to cry.I chose not to cry.I enquired what made him say what he did,and left it at tht.I know where I'm going wrong and I dont have to cry myself to sleep thinking "how could he say tht?"...It also makes you feel like a stone.But I guess,I need to exercise my choice only when it comes to real,personal and close issues.I can always laugh without any care when something silly happens...cant I? Yes,I can :).


abhinav said…
I am dumb.

There is a difference between feeling an emotion and letting that emotion transform into a response / reaction.If you still feel anger but choose not show it , it isnt much good.A true person is not someone who chooses to hide some feelings , but is at a level of understanding such that he does not feel that anger.Now if you do not understand what I wrote , look at the first line i wrote.

so its not ur problem.I am dumb.
Zarine said…
You do feel the anger,but instead of shouting,you choose someother way to respond.Or mebbe,you can master your emotions and choose not to get angry at all? :)

Reaching higher level is about not letting the surroundings/situations dictate your reaction,but you,yourself deciding your response.

And you arnt as dumb as you'd like to believe :).
luke said…
emotions are to be let of bcoz after all nobody rules over them and just letting off helps ...just doing that once and let go...sometimes being selfish helps...ciao
Is this the height of coincidence or what. An hour before i read your post, i was discussing the exact same thing with my roomie.

I really dont have any responses to what you've been talkin about, but only an experience of my own. A 'friend' confesses a wrongdoing. She expects me to lambast her and slam doors and storm out of the room. But i do the exact opposite. Not that i was trying to be a mahatma or something. But i did wat came naturally to me. And in hindsight, i realise, there couldn't have been a better punishment for her. Had i reacted and reprimanded her, she would've felt better and less guilty.

OK, yeah i know its becoming more of a post of my own than a comment at yours. But i found your post very contextual with today's discussion. Anyway.
C u some time
Zarine said…
@luke - Being selfish helps,no two ways about it.But I'd disagree on the nobody rules emotions part.Our emotions are,but the products of our thoughts.

Total mastery is,therfore, when you have control over what you are expressing,no matter what your thoughts are :).

@ Deep - Am glad you perceived the article in the same frame of mind as it was conceived :).

Tht's wht I'm trying to convey.Our reactions dont have to be dictated by our env or by any norms.We can choose our own reactions based on the situation,and trust me,this only helps in making things better. You are customising/personalising your relations by chossing the way you react :).

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