May 25, 2005

Sorry.

How I hate this word.Sorry! Not coz being apologetic is wrong,but it hardly means one is being apologetic!!
It's just a way to save your skin.Utter it and go scot free.And you know,the best part is this line:- "I said, I'm sorry! Wht more do you want me to do?" Yeh!! Just that word of yours can make up for all the pain n hurt the other person has gone through.Moreover,tht person should be grateful to you for that!


Why dont people mean it when they say it? If you cant stop yourself from repeating it,why do you say it then?Can't you simply say,"I'll try not to do this again"? Nopes.Coz that's committing yourself.U'd rather say Sorry and get done with it.No wonder,I've begun to abhor promises too.

Then they are people who dunno how to handle 'sorry's'.The first category would get all apologetic themselves! "Arey,it's ok yaar! Koi baat nahi!"..Easily forgive the other person.

And there is the second category. I'm sure,each one of us would've faced them sometime or the other. You say Sorry and they say,"Of course not! Why will YOU be sorry! It's wasnt YOUR fault,right?? I was the fool who expected you'd do it..I should be sorry..why will YOU be sorry!" You know,they want to take you on a guilt trip,keep taunting till you feel miserable and then reluctantly accept your apologies.This variety makes the whole process even less desirable.

All in all,everybody makes mistakes.Most of them can be forgiven.But if that the 'Sorry' aint heartfelt,spare yourself the ordeal.And please,learn to forgive.Dont make it more difficult for the other person.


May 20, 2005

Great Expectations

As an individual,one has certain rights. And the right to know is one of them. To know what you want from yourself,from people around you and from your life.Similarly,people around you also have the right to know,incase any of their actions can hurt you.

But then how does one know,unless one asks? The problem with expectations is that a lot is assumed. A husband 'expects' certain things from his wife,and more often than not,he assumes she knows about them,and vice versa. How often do you hear these statement in fights, "Weren't you supposed to do this?? / I tght you would know! / It's but obvious! " All based on the assumption that the other person knows what you expect.

Amongst the comments in the 'Art of Detachment' post,somebody said detaching oneself would be protecting yourself from pain and turning away from love and would stop you from living a full life.

Pain and tears. No point in running away from them. They always find their place in our lives. Infact,
this post of mine talks about how we shouldn't be over protective about ourselves.

The idea of detachment principally deals with detaching yourself from expectations.Not love and care. When you love,expecting the other person to love you back,you are paving a way for some major heartache. The moment expectations come into the picture and are not made clear to each other, misunderstandings creep in.

You can expect,provided you,yourself do justice to your own expectations.Make them heard.

And what happens when you make them heard? More often than not,they fall flat on their face.The other person thinks you are mad to expect so much outta him/her.And then you know better. You learn that relations are based more on what you can give, rather than expecting things for yourself. You have to go beyond yourself to make things work. And imagine,when both the parties feel the same,life is bliss. :)..but the truth is,we are so occupied with our own needs that we seldom look at what the other person wants.


Detaching yourself from the other person's actions,u know...u do things that make you happy,u take care of yourself,and you look after the other person too. Coz, your happiness will,in someway or other, be linked to their's.

Many might argue on the note that,what's the point in staying in a relation which doesnt fulfil your needs? Exactly. Why be in a relation to fulfil your needs? Be in a relation to love someone and make them smile. Coz u really love them :).

And to do all this,you require lots of love for your own self. Love which can sustain itself. Love which will take care of you when others dont.Something which makes you strong enough to face this world without expecting and craving from others. And trust me, it's not that difficult to love yourself :)

Loving without any expectations doesnt hurt,it only liberates you. You are free to love,love and love without any worry :)).

May 19, 2005

Summers Over!!

Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over! Summers Over! Summers Over!Summers Over!Summers Over!Summers Over!

Phew!! Was sloggin since feb! Finally! :D :D :D

Err..I know I was supposed to make a post on the lines of my previous post to complete tht chain of posts, but I COULDN’T STOP MYSELF FROM POSTING THIS FIRST!! I AM SO HAPPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!

Learnings from the Summers ?? Who cares? :)))))))))) Got 10 days hols before the 2 yr begins..wow..am a half MBA now :)))))))))))…The Diro wanted me to address the jrns,but I took them to picnic Saturday last, so my ice breaking session is done with.Dont think will oblige the Diro this time around :D.

The plans for the next 10 days,umm…will definitely not sleep much,I can always do tht when my classes start :)))))).O boy, my BF’s aunt’s marriage is on 26th May! (My Best Friend, not Boy Friend,relax! Both are mutually exclusive,u know :D )..and her family,extended family,family’s friends all kinda know me well…so I HAVE to be there…guess my Mumbai trip stands cancelled :((((((((

And yeh!! My favt unc is coming frm the States afta 2 years!! Will have a fun time with him. One of the bestest persons on the Earth. Dunno why,but folks born under the sign “Virgo” are such a sweethearts! I love them all :D. And my 2 aunts are also coming down. Yipppeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! It’s kids’ time again!! Lol…tht time of the year when my truckloads of cuz come down,the oldest one being 11 years old :)))))!

And I also intend to master the Art of HouseWorking! No choice,with my maid going on a long holiday, I have to manage the chores L((((((((

But me shall be happy right now…:)..and yeh,before I sign off,a lil thanks to all those who helped me see thru’ mah Summers.

Nikhil! O Boy!! How can I ever thank ya!? ( It’s just a formality, don’t take the Q seriously :P ) The way u used to put up with my mood swings everytime my Boss got mad at me…:)…Truly precious pal :)

Ranjan – He somehow believes that I’m good at whatever I do :))))). Ok,I also believe ya :))))). LoL :)

Suhail – Hehehhehe…we used to rave n rant at each other everytime either of us had enough of things! For a change, I was at the recv end at times ! :)))))))

And yeh,all those who put up with my mood swings on Y! mssgr during this period…Ranjitha, Puneet, Wayne, Vipul and Vishu . Now promise,no more ‘Busy’ status :P

Till next post….take care n ensoi!!!!!!!!




May 16, 2005

The Art Of Detachment

Continuing from the previous post, a key element in loving yourself is taking care of yourself. Again,easier said than done.

Why does it hurt so much when people walk away from your life? Why does one feel so lonely and down? How can someone have the ability to cause us pain in such a capacity? Why cant people let go easily? Why are so many tears and heartbreaks a part of the process?

Nothing lasts.Really nothing does.At the end of the day,you are all by yourself.And most of the time,you are either sad or just plain blank.You wish for someone who could've being there to share your blues,but the stark reality is...even if someone is there,s/he wont be there forever.

Rem'ber before those presentations/speeches/plays in front of an audience, no matter how much anyone told u to be confident, you always had to have a lil talk with yourself , assuring yourself that everything would be ok ? Tht "C'mon,you can do it" pep talks before the D-Day. Revising your subjects, making sure you didnt leave out anything. Even if your pal said, he'll "take care" of certain portions, you'd still glance thru' it...you know,just in case!

Then why is it that when it comes to relations, we leave everything on the other party? Why does it hurt so much when they dont respond? Coz we expected the other person to care.And s/he didnt. Expectations are the root cause of most miseries.

Learn to detach yourself.From everything and everyone.And you need tremendous amout of self belief to do that.

You fulfil wht's required of you. You get out and get your due. You dont wait for anyone to do anything for you. You dont expect anyone to do/say anything. You simply state what you need. If it's fulfilled,well and good. If not,and if it's not in your capacity to fulfil it for urself,you move on. When you dont expect from someone,there's hardly anything that binds you to them,save blood ties and thick friendships.

It may sound a cold hearted approach, but it saves you from a lot of pain that comes from unfulfilled expectations. Making your wishes and dreams come true, keeping yourself happy is your responsibility. Dont let your emotions be at stake of someone's whims and fancies.

May 11, 2005

When will I love Me?

I get hurt.Mebbe others get hurt too.And cry too.And get fed up of crying.Chuck everything, and say "To hell with this world"..decide to move on.And find themselves crying again.

From my observation,good and nice people cry more.Coz u wouldnt come across bigger fools than them.Am not talking abt goodness or being nice as foolishness.The problem arises when they expect others to be good too.Why will others be good to u? Jus coz u were good to them? Ha! Quid pro quo works only if someone is rubbed the wrong way.Otherwise people are happy for being treated nicely and conveniently forget about it.

To be loved in return.The eternal human need.Love.People want to love someone. And want to be loved in return.And my god,what all they endure for this! If only a fraction of that effort was spent in loving oneself...

Ever thought if you love yourself? How much? How do you love yourself? What do u do when you love yourself? Why is it so difficult to love yourself? Coz u know ur shortcomings, ur mistakes n faults... and this is the reason,when u discover the other person u 'loved' aint tht perfect as u tght, u get disillusioned. Nobody loves the other person's vices. Coz nobody can accept their own.

You'll buy gifts and roses and do what not for the person you love. Ever spared a thought to think what you would do for yourself if you loved yourself? Most people go blank. A treat at your favt restaurant, or an expensive indulgence or something as materialistic would be the answer of the remaining. None would promise to keep loving their own self forever.

This may sound like one of those centerspread articles frm TOI on sundays, but I was reading a blog when I came across a line.."All she wanted was love..." and I lost my cool. Everybody wants love,dammit. Big deal. And everybody goes through heartbreaks. So? You'll keep crying all your life,is it? Heck,why blame tht other person when you, yourself, arnt intrested in keeping your life happy and cheerful? He left you and you left yourself. And you carry on the search for someone who will love you. You crave for love. Coz you need to be loved,for you are a human being,after all! You cant love yourself. You always need someone else to do that for you.

Face it, if you cant love the person you are, the person you've being with all this years....what justice can you do to another person?? On second thoughts, seriously,AIIC!

May 10, 2005

Well said.!

Came across few awesome one liners..

"Deal with the world the way it is, not the way you wish it was." John Chambers , CEO, Cisco Systems

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." Katharine Hepburn

“Nobody gives you power. You just take it.” Roseanne Barr

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito." Anita Roddick - complements of Yvonne DiVita

“Manners will take you where money won’t.” Coach Vince Dooley.

“It’s important to be thoughtful while you’re being thought provoking.” Sharon Stone

"The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely." Lorraine Hansberry: complements of Kirsten Osolind

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." Erica Jong

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous." Carrie - "Sex and The City"

"It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, or how thin or well dressed. I maintain that at the root of all glamour there is confidence." Isaac Mizrahi

"You are responsible for your own experience." Hugh at gapingvoid

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat." Sun Tzu - Complements of Dana VanDen Heuvel

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." - Elizabeth Taylor

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us." Jean-Paul Sartre

May 06, 2005

Hats off ..:)


So very often when you want to give up on your dreams,you come across people who've made it. Through sheer determination and perseverance. People who had faith in themselves,and took the required steps to convert dreams into reality.

Of all the people I know,I admire very few.The ones who made it where I couldnt.The ones who did what I couldnt.The ones who repeatedly beat their own successes and dont rest on the past laurels.

Folks for whom the deed matters more than the word.People who live it in the spirit,not in the letter.

I wish I could be like them.More action oriented.More driven.More successful.

I saw 'Robots' the other day,and the movie had an awesome line :-

"If you dont fight for your dreams,they'll haunt you all your life".

May 04, 2005

Grrrr.!

AT times,you wish you can simply throttle some people to death!!!!!!!!!!

You do so much,and people dont even have the time/courtesy to acknowledge! Wht was tht ancient Indian saying ," Nekki kar,kuwe mein daal"..Do the deed and forget about it.

WHY WHY WHY?? As if doing things doesnt take up your time and resources! Do it,and then grin and bear it. The other person takes it for granted. And shamelessly will turn to you ,if it has to be done again! And you will do,coz after all you arnt supposed to turn down tht person.

One royal kick on his a** the first time, will ensure that next time around he doesnt take your services for granted!!

Seriously the concept of selfless service makes me laugh. You do things coz u like to do them.You derive pleasure/happiness/satisfaction frm it.You are serving some or other need of yours through it.Be it physical or emotional.Just because monetary benefit isnt involved doesnt mean it's 'selfless service'.

I really dunno wht's wrong in taking care of your needs.Why people try to veil it under some fancy name or the other.Why cant they simply say,"I do it coz I like it" or "I do it because it makes me happy". No, rather it's "I do it coz it's my responsibilty" / "I do it coz they need me".

Bah! Half the time I dont understand why this world functions the way it does.