December 31, 2009

Scratch my head

I wonder why almost 40 people are following me on Twitter.

© Z.

Aahun aahun aahun

2004 - 12
2005 - 93
2006 - 37
2007 - 31
2008 - 36
2009 - 18

That's the number of blog posts since the blog inception. 2009 scores the lowest...the 12 posts made in 2004 were all done in Dec 2004!

While '06, '07, '08 have been fairly consistent...'09 figures did rock me a bit. It's been a low year...and I didn't turn to my blog enough number of times, I guess.

Whatever the reason be...let 2010 be more verbose. Cheers!

© Z.

December 19, 2009

As it comes

It'll be three decades in ~3 years time, since I was born. The question "what have you done so far" surprisingly doesnt bother me as I realise that, this race to "do something" since we were kids, has consumed so much of our lives...that only success and its relative supriority to others success' and lives seems relevant.

I'd rather want to ask myself...how much of these three decades of your life do you remember? How many moments have left their mark on your mind's tracks? How many people from then are still part of your now? What have you discovered about yourself that will make the coming years more fruitful? What have you denied and what have you compromised on? What are your moments of glory? And I'd want all of these to be absolute moments...not a "I beat her to the top rank"...rather "I felt good about doing this... I didnt think I could do it" type of stuff.

This life is over so fricking fast that one doesnt realise what's slippin thru...its gone just like that. And increasingly what matters more is that feeling of being incharge of your life...knowing that mebbe you arnt right about the direction or the speed...but you'll control whatever happens. Of knowing that being right or wrong or judgemental about people isnt so cool anymore...its understanding the situation and their corresponding behaviors...and leaving it at that. I can't get myself to imagine the time wasted on shredding people's personalities and judging them on their tastes/dresses/nationalities/religion/preferences. It seems like everytime I'm judging someone...I'm playing a trivial game with myself...making myself believe something about the other person basis my frame of reference. Futile exercise. Now that I make a conscious effort to avoid this...it feels like a free flow of my own energy...its not clogged with prejudices...its breathing in every experience and living and growing as the moments pass.

Prejudices can be hard to do away with. Often one pays a big price...as its some way of conformance. Non conformance never came cheap. And sometimes in life...the price you have to pay decides your next action and it could defy all your thoughts and belief systems.

Whichever it may be and however we choose to react...let the conscience breath freely and have a heart that feels content.

And this one aimless ranting...comes as part of mid life crisis.


© Z.

December 08, 2009

Some wish list

I dunno whats the urgency to publish this post...am dead sleepy and still punching away the keys.

(After stifling another yawn)...the point was...I need to do certain things. Like sleeping, maybe. Ok..get over it.

This post is inspired or rather the thought was triggered by a teddy bear friend (someone who looks like a teddy....not someone you take to bed when u r lonely!) Sleep deprivation people...it can make one lose all senses.

Things to do before I die (unlike my friend who knows the exact number of things he'd wanna do...i'm happy that I atleast have something!)

  • Ride a bike...kasam se...the Ducati types...full speed, swanky helmet.. minus the chick, obv
  • Be able to converse without getting worked up
  • Have a personal library with atleast couple of thousand titles
  • Go on a cruise
  • Be able to understand religions...all of them
  • Get rid of prejudices
  • Do a course on Oceanology
  • Learn the art of meditation
  • Learn a sport...preferably squash
  • Learn the guitar/ violin
  • Be privileged enough to mentor a soul
  • Not give up on love, ever
  • Learn to sleep when its time to sleep


© Z.

November 12, 2009

Moment of Truth

Trust is built through credibility. Credibility is built through accountability. Accountability is built through responsibility. Responsibility is built through ownership. Ownership is built through identifying with the objective. Identification is built through internalization. Internalization is built through synchronizing the external objectives with internal goals. Goals are built through purpose. So if you lack purpose, you cannot be trusted.

October 29, 2009

When the going gets tough...

...don’t lose your manners.

Being in HR, I’m a recipient of all kinds of resumes, CVs, bio-data, profiles, what-have-you. The first thing that strikes me about job mails is the lack of effort, interest and respect displayed by the applicant.

For most of them, there’s no formal addressing. It begins with “Hello. I’m blah blah blah”. And God bless those ones who “expect a favor from you as he/she are alumnus/ X’s cousin/ Y’s colleague/ Z’s daughter in law” Excuse me, but none of the above obliges me to consider your profile for my organization. Period.

What follows next is the grief story on why he/she wants to switch. Okay. Whatever.

The worse are the concluding remarks. “I expect a positive response at the earliest” or “Keep me posted”. I just can’t help laughing at such mails/ cover letters.

Which brings me to the point of cover letters. These days, thanks to the numerous consultants and job portals, applicants don’t take the pain of drafting a cover letter. It was one of the potent tool recruiters used in old days to shortlist candidates and I regret its absence these days.

Get a grip, folks. When you are ‘cold-calling’ your CV to someone, remember you need them more than they need you. If you don’t draft a good, impressive mail/ cover letter, you’ve lost them even before they check your full CV.

September 01, 2009

No Title - II

In continuation of the last post...I actually thought about that line.

 

Dum hai boss.

 

I also realized, that besides the people I hate and my sweetheart (mutually exclusive please! J) I think about my friends and couple of other people too. And in this list of other people, I think of Allwin Agnel the most. I dunno why. I just think about him and that’s about it...! Not that I wanna join his firm or something (I’m basically a very lazy person & his firm is too charged up for my comfort :P ). He keeps flashing in my mind...and since I’m into psychology and stuff...I’m sure its symbolic of something. Dunno what though. When I have free time, I just open the PG forum or the Slog page...not that I look forward to any information or have something to contribute there...but...its an old habit which refuses to die hard. He hangs around in the back of my mind. Doesn’t say anything. I thought I’ll talk to him once and maybe the things would be ok...but no...when we spoke, we yakked away happily like 2 friends do when they catch up after long. So it’s not about him per se...but its something related to him...or something which he symbolizes. What is it?!! This line is driving me crazy.

 

Allwin will freak out when he reads this :- ))

No Title

I read this the other day, “We become what we think of”

 

It made me yawn. Or maybe it was the biryani I had for lunch that made me yawn. So, back to the statement. The author of this particular statement says that when you believe in this one line, it will change your life. And you’ll be happy, successful and find a BMW next time you scratch a detergent bar coupon (ok, that was made up)

 

“We become what we think of”. Hmm, what do I think of the whole day? I think of escaping from certain people I so hate, I think of what my better half must be doing, I think of how futile it is to struggle at times...infact, it amazes me now that I think more about people I don’t like than the ones I adore!

 

I’m so caught up in hating and getting back at those people, that I don’t think of anything else for most of the day! What a waste! But you know, these people (the ones you hate & vice versa) do such things to your self esteem, that you cant stop fuming about things.

 

Now, if I reduced thinking about them...I realize I have a huge period of thought time to fill up for. What can I think about? There’s this immediate deliverable I have which I so hate!! And I cant help thinking about it!!

 

Oh my God! I need to be cured! I need an asylum!

July 23, 2009

Bhule Bisre

Hey... : ) !

Today was one of those days when you hear from an old acquaintance and just can’t help smiling.

Flashback – 15 years ago, we left a wonderful township to move to another city. My first best friend, C, comes from this place. Mom’s best friend S Aunty also hails from this place. S Aunty had 2 sons A & D. A was in the same class as my lil bro & Aa was 2 years younger to them. I still remembered these 2 brats as naughty boys who just wouldn’t sit still.

Cut back to the present. Dad’s best friend P’s son N is in love with S Aunty’s niece. How they got to know each other is a LONG story. Now, mom, dad, sis, P Uncle & Aunty & N have gone visiting S Aunty and her family for a formal marriage proposal.

In between all of this, I get a call from A. A’s exciting voice from other end of the phone goes “Di, guess who?!!!!!” To be honest, I didn’t have a faintest idea A would call, so I couldn’t guess...but when he let me know, I couldn’t stop smiling. What more...for like 3-4 hours from the first call...I’d call him..he’d go “I’m in between something di, I’ll call you back”..and when he’d call..I couldn’t answer. So finally, we got speaking and I was wondering, why are we so keen to talk to each other? When we got talking, I knew : )

A kept coming to my city very often and it was his love interest AB which got him here. He asked me about my sweetheart...I was surprised he knew...but trust dad! We both kept chatting and it was such a wonderful feeling...you know...connecting to someone after a such a long time...one’d think there would be long silences ...but no...we both kept yakking and yakking...if one keeps one’s heart open to love & relations...there’s so many wonderful people who’ll pay ya a visit : )

A might be coming down soon...and I just can’t wait to meet him...my kid bro sure must’ve grown into a handsome hunk!

And both C & my dude were too busy to talk...so my blog gets to here from me first! :D

July 09, 2009

Some Saying

A bird sitting on a branch does not feel scared of the branch shaking, coz it doesn’t trust the branch...it trusts its own wings.

May 13, 2009

Read the post for the title

I should author a book on managing uncertainties. It’ll be titled “What you should know when you don’t know!” (Copyright & all those rights applicable!!)

Ok, why do I say this? It’s coz last 2 years of my life...I’ve plunged head first into so many things about which I had no clue about. City change...how will you handle the new city? No idea. Role change...how will you handle that? No idea. Another role change in 6 months...again, no idea. In year from then...get into the leadership program...with no idea...get into another role in 3 months from then with no idea...and again consider yet another role with...you got it right...NO IDEA!

Now, No Idea here does not mean I don’t know what I’m getting into. It means...I dunno how I’ll handle it. The point also is...I’m so open to change that it surprises me. I have no apprehensions dealing with new people, new situations. I just get into it, do my stuff and move on. Is it coz I don’t know what I want? Indeed, what do I want? No Idea.

Do I need to know? Mebbe. Mebbe not. How does it help? It helps you to stay focused. But a person like me who gets bored easily and is restless doing the same thing after a while, may be it’s not that bad a thing.

So, back to the book....What you should know when you don’t know? NO IDEA!!!

Hahahaha.

May 05, 2009

..Soooo arbit

An amusing discussion between a colleague and me.

C : (..Continuing from a ongoing conversation)...so we just need to buff it up a little..

Z : (interrupting)....need to ‘what’ a little?

C : Buff? Ok...in my comp engg days, we used to call it buffing up things...

Z : (nodding my head)...oh k...you are a computer engineer??

C : (shrugs) umm...yeah...but then MBA ruined everything!

Z : (raises eyebrows)...you are an MBA??

C : (nods head in a weird way)...well, yeah...but you know, 5 years of corporate life wiped it all out...

Z: (eyebrows still raised)...you’ve worked 5 years??

C: (smiles)...yeah...but still feels like my first job!!

Z: (nods head with a know all expression)...ahhh...so you are basically as good as a 12th pass doing his first job!

C: (Stunned)...err...what???

Z : Hehehehehehe

*Grins*

April 16, 2009

Great Boss

A great boss

  • Is not someone who solves tricky issues for you, but teaches you to approach them and stays there till you solve
  • Is not someone who is all the time around, doing most of what you should be doing
  • Is not someone who interferes with your job so much that folks think he/she's the one doing it, not you!
  • Is not someone who does all things 'strategic' and leaves the 'tactical' stuff for you
  • Is not someone who uses your informal conversations against you in formal forums
  • Is not someone who you makes you think its ok to be average
  • Is not someone who crucifies you for your delays, but is himself/herself late all the while
  • Is not someone who sees the micro level issues to such an extent that he/she loses sight of the bigger picture
  • Is not someone who agrees with you all the time
  • Is not someone who ignore you all the time
  • Is not someone who makes you wish you had quit long time back
  • Is not someone who kills the ambition in you to move ahead
  • Is not someone who makes you love your existing situation and be happy about it
  • Is not someone who chooses to talk to you only when his/her neck is on the line
Am sure there are many more instances of what a good boss is and isnt. Chip in.



© Z.

April 14, 2009

Nice nice day

Ho hummm...feeling light and airy today.

My new role worked out (thank god!) and am involved in coupla good projects. I love the way my blog looks...infact, now that I think of it...I should've archived all the screen shots of the themes I had for my blog...considering I keep changing them every 3-4 months..those would be a lot!

So generally folks...keep cribbing and cheering....life rolls on.. :)

© Z

March 19, 2009

Just a chat

Its been a while since I had a heart to heart chat with this blog. With this html text page with links & codes because my friends are too busy for me. Never mind.

It’s such tumultuous times out here. The pressure and stress I’m undergoing is beyond me. Am between roles…and what a way I’m in between roles! My past role has my replacement already onboard. My next role is under discussion. So basically neither here nor there. How does one react in such situations? When in the past one year you have been so bogged down with work that “spare time” seemed like nirvana.

But hey. It’s ok to be in ambiguous situations. Its great if the next role materializes. Its ok if it doesn’t. Something else will. I might want to enjoy this interim period of fewer expectations and pressures.

Personally, things are beginning to hit choppy waters. I don’t even know how to put across the anxieties I face daily. 24 hours. And then I have this nagging headache. Woah…I don’t wanna head for a nervous breakdown!

Sigh. I cant believe I just asked my colleague for work! Why cant I just stay put?? Why is it so important to be occupied all the while? I really want to listen to good music right now.

I also need to stop being apologetic about things. Fuck them if they don’t work out. Damn them if they don’t care. JUST STOP FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING!

It’s very important and critical that you learn about what you deserve. And demand it. Everyone deserves a fair chance. So do you. Don’t be apologetic about it.

Yepes. Signing off on that note.

Thanks for publishing me out (ha ha)

February 17, 2009

Yet Another

Its funny & weird and oh so déjà vu. The ability to screw up things. The thought that you can talk your mind with someone and yet not impact your relation. That the other person would put things in perspective and not react. It just doesn’t work. Never. You ALWAYS have people taking decisions and sounding you off for thinking x,y,z and how things can never be the same. And of course, the done to death “you have changed” tone which’ll make you wince and wonder why did you even bother talking in the first place. Just let things be. Status quo.

 

If you have an issue with someone you care for, don’t talk about it. Seldom does honesty find a deserving audience.

January 31, 2009

Helpppppppppppp

Am desperately searching for the "Dancing Jodi" video from Rab ne bana di jodi. The one in the climax wherein they dance and win the first prize (wow..!..duh!)

Plllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeee paste the link if any of u finds it...


© Z.

January 19, 2009

Dont let go

The presence of Love in our lives is seldom noticed till it goes missing. Its presence becomes a default requirement...a taken for granted virtue..something we dont spare much thought for.

Spend a lonely hour, a day filled with emptiness, a life recalling memories and imagining what could have been, make you realise Love is such a precious thing. You cant trade it off for anything else...its all compromise thereafter.

Love comes in all ways & forms unimagined. It's those few who realise just in time and hang on it...the remaining keep searching for what was theirs once.

Aaye tum yaad mujhe...gaane lagi har dhadkan...


© Z.