May 01, 2006

Thinking aloud

This post was long overdue..but then I had to make it. :)

I've lead a strange life. One where I dont get what I aspire for. When I settle for something lesser, all that I wanted falls right into my lap! I always knew myself as a fighter. I'd fight for anything and everything! So when life doesnt give me what I want, I take what it gives me and turn things around.

With time, I have seen myself grow more comfortable in my skin. My definition of achievement/success are my own now. I no longer aspire for someone else to commend me for what I've done (rather I wince when folks say I've done well!).

It's gonna be a straight from my heart post...so I might sound vain at times...

Thanks to all the people who walked out of my life...who ditched me..dumped me...betrayed me. Now I know that the only person who'll see me through all this is Myself. I have had instances when I almost broke up with those who are now in my "Indispensable Folks" list. I chose not to react. I dont believe in vengeance. Invariably God does that for me. I let them go. And they came back. Few others might choose to do the same...I wont stop anyone. 'Coz I know, I'll live through it all...

I joined my first job a week back. It came outta blue...and I chucked my campus offer for it. This place is helping me realise myself. My AVP tells me, "I see you changing this place." I dunno if I'd. But I'd for sure make anything better than it is now, if I can.

I dont make promises to myself anymore. I just make it a point to deliver all that I can. Life is so simple this way. The way to bigger things is to get the smaller ones right.

I dont have a "Love" in my life. All that I have are coupla pals who I hang onto. These folks make up for tht one person. They are my love, life, support system and my anchor. 1 week into my job and I know close to 100 people already. Making pals was never a problem with me....but calling them when I need to has been. But this gang - guess it goes without saying....

I dont blog the way I used to....and I seriously dunno why. Mebbe coz now I simply talk and discuss what I'd normally put down here.

Life has been strange. I've been through shit. I've been on cloud nine. All that I wish now is the ability to handle situations with panache...as they come, when they come.

Life is beautiful.
© Zarine.

4 comments :

  1. the_argumentative_indian said...

    Zarine, in the end all we have is ourself. U shud thank all the events and people who made u realise yourself! Enjoi.

  2. chaos said...

    that's life Z... ever changing... but it's good that it keep bringing change... or else we'll get board of life itself... so enjoy the change... there will be some people who'll come and go... but there will be few friends who'll stick to you... just believe in yourself... and keep talking (and blogging)... :)

  3. chaos said...

    PS: some one rightly said... in this race of life... sometimes you are ahead sometimes behind... but the race is long and in the end it's only you... :) (sunscreens)

  4. White Forest said...

    Hey Zarine,

    Thats a touching post!
    I have been thru that and may be just at the end of it.

    EVery time i ve felt soemthing like what you have mentioned above, Its been proved that its only GOD and MYself who are with me! All the time!

    NObody else!

    And I Defly know that these kind of situations makes one stronger mentally...I am sure you can face anything and everythign in life now!

    Cheers!