As If I Care..!

How do you get started when you are nervous? How do you get yourself to believe that you can do it…and that it doesn’t matter if others are grimacing? It amazes me how much it matters…the perception you make on others. How they look at you, how they think about you? Do you ‘qualify’? Are you good enough? Will this impress them or will they accept me if I did this? Does my acceptance of self depend on theirs of me? (What English is that??) Whatever, my wondering sessions will never cease! I made a stunning discovery about myself last night, stunning being an understatement. It was this constant wondering about why I wasn’t reciprocating to something; let’s call it “Activity”. This Activity was on my list for more than a year and I simply couldn’t get down to doing it. I discussed about this with my guy and he did his best to support me…but, eventually he faced the fact too that I was simply not responsive to it. Infact, last evening was one of those days when I tried to dr...

Starting on a brand new day. Learning how to fall in love with myself….for the first time ever….it’s tougher, as I know my failings…but am gonna sincerely try.

In another week, I’ll compete 2 years of my ‘professional life’. Ah! 2 saal. Those first 3-4 months…I remember them so vividly. Eager & hungry. Full of energy & promise. Smiling at everyone….bright new mornings…chirpy self…enquiring mind & observing eyes. 2 years….what has changed? Definitely have subdued down…don’t jump the gun anymore…take more informed & calculated decisions…don’t fret & fume over escalations…can handle pressure better now…know who to smile at…know what to ask & to whom…can manage time better…and most importantly…know where I’m headed now. Net net..it’s been a good 2 yrs…with a fair share of ups & downs…and I’m loving it! Yakkkuuuu!!!!

A new template! YOOHOO!