As If I Care..!

Come to think of it...I didnt rem'ber what I last blogged or how my blog looked like!! Well..just be back post changing the template.. :) © Z.

I HAD to post this. What’s with old school romanticism man?   “Those were the days…those were the women..those were the times…that was love…blah blah blah”.   If 50 yr olds are making that point, I get it. If a 30 yr old does it..he’s just trying to be popular with the old boys! C’mon…whatever this generation is…its because the one previous to it honed it that way…if you don’t like it..blame yourself!   “Ladies in those days had their own grace”. Yeh. Right. Let me try that grace when I’m pulling up the Sourcing manager.   “Ladies in those days had their own nakhras.” Yeh. Right. Will my boss be ok if I did those ‘nakhras’ in office…Ouch! :D   What they want to say is…ladies in those had nothing better to do than act to their whims & fancies…complain about the pickle taking longer than usual..smile when he looked at her ‘i...

The word does travel around..and the world is round..so it will come back to you sooner or later. That is not the point. The point is..you just cant trust folks..there are so many hidden linkages in the corp world that you feel as if you are literally in a maze..what leads to whom and from where can be quite flummoxing.   So the ideal way would be to not make noises…or make ones of the right kinds. Whatever.  

Far far away, lived a nomad…amidst high gray mountains and the scorching desert land. He would tread the hills, staring at the clear blue sky above. The majestic Sun would shine down on him and question his wanderings. The nomad was searching for something…he didn’t exactly know what.   He would look at scenery around him and wonder…wonder about how the nature got to be there and what would happen to it tomorrow. His mind was just as his own physical state…clueless and without a destination.   Very rarely, his thoughts would cross the high mountains and wonder what lies behind them. What did those rocks hold in their cradle? But increasingly, he started believing that his world was within these hills….and what happened beyond them was neither in his control nor his concern.   Night would fall, and he’d continue staring at the stars. He wanted answers from everything around him. Wanted them to justify their existence to him. But wh...

Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits.   - Dan Barker   I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.   - Douglas Adams   If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.   - Dorothy Parker   The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.   - Daniel Webster   “ Leadership is all about being granted permission by others to lead their thinking. It is a bestowed moral authority that gives the right to organize and direct the efforts of others. But moral authority does not come from simply managing people effectively or communicating better or being able to motivate. It comes from many sources, including being authentic and genuine, having integrity, and showing a real and...

How do you know if you have the courage? Is it the ability to..   ·          …face uncertainties? ·          …take tough calls and not the popular ones? ·          …not bow to the bullies? ·          …give a damn? ·          ... confess your mistakes when the stakes are high? ·          …stand up and speak for yourself when none’s listening?   How do you know?    

Latest corporate mantra – G**nd mein dum nahi, hum kisise kum nahi : -)    

Strewn across the bed...like some sheet undone and ruffled...By myself.. Thoughts scattered across my mind...like some marbles which were played..Among themselves Eyes scan across the room..like eagle hovering above...above itself So lost I feel..so put to test now and then...what do I need? Why do I resist so much...why dont I give in? © Z.

18th Feb 2011. The day I bought my first flat. The feeling hasnt yet sunk in.. Yippee :).

Amazingly boring day at work…dead slow pace…dead pan faces…the only thing that makes me smile is my FB updates mail…some status msgs must be framed, I say!

Ha ha ha ha. Mazaa aaya aaja. Kisi ka kisi ko bheja hua SMS maine galti se padh liya. Ha ha ha ha. Mere boss ka meri subordinate ko bheja hua SMS. Thoda scandalous types.. ;). Mazaa aaya ji mazaa aaya. ;)

Getting bitter about people and circumstances can be so easy at times…heck, its easy all the time. Its so often a product of what you value against what others do…or difference in perspectives or simply not getting what you want. I find myself either irate or depressed or frustrated a lot these days. It’s like I’m asked to order what I want to eat and everytime I order something…its either not available/ will take years to make/ if made, doesn’t taste the same.   “An orange juice, please.”   “Sorry, not available”   “Do you have pineapple?”   “Yes, but we dont serve pineapple juice..it will be served diced”   “Umm..ok, do you have vanilla ice cream to accompany it?”   “No..we have Strawberry”   (Strawberry & Pineapple??)   “Ok..then can you get me a strawberry milk shake?”   “N...

We are moving to a new office and seats were being assigned. So, the alignment started basis hierarchy and the VP/AVP population obviously choose the corner cabins/cubicles. Next in line were the Senior Managers, with yours truly being one of them. Now there were 5 cubicles left and 7 SMs to be seated. So, in a common sense scenario, you’d look at the profile & the job requirement and take a call. For eg. If someone is on a lot of customer calls, he gets one or if someone is in a role which has a higher privacy demand, he gets one. But lo & behold, how did we decide? We picked chits!! Yes!! School is not yet over and we still make long standing decisions by picking chits!!   And guess what? HR didn’t get a cubicle..(mebbe my boss isn’t lucky enough..I should’ve picked mine!!) and we, the ones whose main job is discussing about employees’ & their related concerns, will now sit in proximity with Operations. Bang in the middle of the flo...

wow..its been 2 months since i last updated this space. Never realised how difficult a self motivated change is...u r ur inspiration...u r ur detractor.  Never mind. Keep walking. © Z.

I really don’t know how it feels to leave an organization..have been with the same one since my career started...people seem so happy and care free when they are in the exit mode!! I want to leave too!! But I will have to clock another 17 months before I can...sniff sniff    

                                                                                   So often I find myself in this situation....wherein you dont want to be with a particular bunch of people..coz obv u dont like them or the way they are...but they are having fun and chilling out..and you want to be part of that 'fun'...so you are like.."ok...lets compromise" and u actually dont end up having either your self respect or that 'fun'. This whole thing of being accepted is so wicked. Why the hell dont I have people I can easily gel with, around me? Its often those vain, bitchy creatures w...

Normally, she wouldnt take up something she wouldnt do justice to. But this time around, there was a conflict in her mind. Her heart said, "Let's do it!!" but her mind was cautious. "I'm not sure", it said, "It would change a lot of things" "So, what..? Have never done something like this...and given the odds, you might make it through." "Hmm. Are you sure you want to do this?" "YES" "...Ok...lets go." And with this last thought, she took the leap from the 45th storey of her office building. End of story. Literally & figuratively. © Z.

I am feeling happy today. :) I got infected by some queasy worm in my tummy and had allergic reactions all over my body :). Mom and dad learnt about it and called 5 times in last 24 hours :). My khaala who's my favt doc in the world called thrice :). After having lived by myself for such a long time and being kinda self dependent for everything...it felt great to have folks call up and trying to take care, atleast remotely :). I feel so cared for :) I do talk to Mom & Dad almost every other day...but these calls were something else...beyond expression. I miss home.. © Z.

The normal way to decide if someone is dependable or not is measuring how many times they've lived upto their commitment or deliverable. But at times, you get this 'sense' that someone is dependable. This is most often triggered by the person's aura or the way they carry themselves. So if someone is charming and makes you feel at ease, its easy to believe that they are dependable. Not always, though. People who are aware of their weaknesses often do a great job at hiding them. If I know I'm not dependable...I will atleast portray an image to the contrary. This helps me decide which ones to be dependable for or even hide behind my "good aura". If you have 2 people, 1 who does the work but starts with a "I dunno if I'll do it.." or "I hate doing this"..and another who starts with "Sure, why not" and eventually does not do it...its easier for people to believe the latter to be more dependable than the former. Coz..u built...

I usher in the 29th year of my life...28 years gone by, huh...without much ado, at that. By 29, my mom had all three of us, with sis & me in middle school :). I'm happy juggling professional life with a sketchy personal life. Didnt mean to start my birthday post on such a note...but the ambience is such. I'm by myself, in my room in the central part of Guatemala city, Central America. Hindi songs from the 90s fill the room...those growing up years...somehow I always view my life from that point...its like am stuck there...I'm 18..looking at my life at 28. How was life at 18? I had finished my 10+2 with Biology, physics & chemistry subjects. Mom & eventually Dad wanted me to be doctor...like most in my family. Munawwar Fatima was a thick friend at that point..who is now no longer a part of my life. I still rem'ber her landline number though. I didnt clear the medical entrance with kind of marks needed for a government seat. Dad was in Fiji Islands. We wer...