As If I Care..!

Step 2 done. Received the offer letter today. Sent the acceptance. Might fly by first week of Feb...hope that the fog clears out by then. Turbulence scares the s*** out of me. © Z.

It's break time...or rather bench time. I'm on bench!!! That's what an employee is when they have no work 'officially', right?  So cool. :D Well...nothing much is happening these days. I play weird games on Facebook, watch TV, learn some spanish, do some household chores and that's kinda about it. Day starts at 12 pm and ends at 12 am. I check mails intermittently, with the hope that the team from my next role will finish the paperwork and let me know when I can join them.  So here's to vella panti...cheers! © Z.

Most of the folks in HR function...when they start giving a speech or presentation, start at a very elementary level. You know....if they want to relate 2 concepts....2 very simple concepts....they'd invariably start with explaining both the concepts, no matter how simple or well understood these are already. They make sure everyone gets to hear from them anyway. And when they relate the concepts...they behave as if they discovered e=mc^2. Voila!!! And they also await the reaction from the audience....clap everyone!!! Come to the finance function. They'd first hate you for wasting their time in giving speeches to dumb audience. And they have a completely opposite approach. They'll start with e=mc^2, expect you to know how they derived it, sigh in disgust when you give a blank expression, explain the whole concept in the most dry manner and get done with it. Operations? They'd start with whining about why e=mc^2 had to exist and how many challenges they face daily due to...

I wonder why almost 40 people are following me on Twitter. © Z.

I should author a book on managing uncertainties. It’ll be titled “What you should know when you don’t know!” (Copyright & all those rights applicable!!) Ok, why do I say this? It’s coz last 2 years of my life...I’ve plunged head first into so many things about which I had no clue about. City change...how will you handle the new city ? No idea. Role change...how will you handle that? No idea. Another role change in 6 months...again, no idea. In year from then...get into the leadership program...with no idea...get into another role in 3 months from then with no idea...and again consider yet another role with...you got it right...NO IDEA! Now, No Idea here does not mean I don’t know what I’m getting into. It means...I dunno how I’ll handle it. The point also is...I’m so open to change that it surprises me. I have no apprehensions dealing with new people, new situations. I just get into it, do my stuff and move on. Is it coz I don’t know what I want? Indeed, what do I want? No Idea....

An amusing discussion between a colleague and me. C : (..Continuing from a ongoing conversation)...so we just need to buff it up a little.. Z : (interrupting)....need to ‘what’ a little? C : Buff? Ok...in my comp engg days, we used to call it buffing up things... Z : (nodding my head)...oh k...you are a computer engineer?? C : (shrugs) umm...yeah...but then MBA ruined everything! Z : (raises eyebrows)...you are an MBA?? C : (nods head in a weird way)...well, yeah...but you know, 5 years of corporate life wiped it all out... Z: (eyebrows still raised)...you’ve worked 5 years?? C: (smiles)...yeah...but still feels like my first job!! Z: (nods head with a know all expression)...ahhh...so you are basically as good as a 12 th pass doing his first job! C: (Stunned)...err...what??? Z : Hehehehehehe * Grins *

Its funny & weird and oh so déjà vu. The ability to screw up things. The thought that you can talk your mind with someone and yet not impact your relation. That the other person would put things in perspective and not react. It just doesn’t work. Never. You ALWAYS have people taking decisions and sounding you off for thinking x,y,z and how things can never be the same. And of course, the done to death “you have changed” tone which’ll make you wince and wonder why did you even bother talking in the first place. Just let things be. Status quo.   If you have an issue with someone you care for, don’t talk about it. Seldom does honesty find a deserving audience.

Oh yeah..I had to update about the remaining diet days…ummm… Day 3 was bananas & milks & soup…so u can imagine how it went! Started with banana shake...and veg soup and then some more veg soup and bananas and then some milk. If anyone wants to know how a banana fed cow looks like, meet me. Day 4 was all fruits & veg. Same old soup and same old fruits. I can sense their disdain when I reach out for them in the fridge. Day 5 was chicken & tomatoes. NOW WE ARE TALKING!! I made some nice chicken stew. ZERO oil. This lasted me till tea time. Dinner was Minced chicken..yumm! Day 6 was chicken & veggies. No chicken today as had no time to shop. Had the usual veggie fare. Day 7 was rice & veggie & fruits. Had everything except the ones mentioned here. So, Day 7 marked end of a uneventful diet program. The results? Well well…didn’t check!! Actually, didn’t bother to. But I have lost some inches and few of my old clothes which were on brink o...

All veggie day. Starts with 2 boiled potatoes with a pat of butter (part of diet, before you wince!). Lunch was Subway veggie salad...some more of veggie salad in the eve. I was feeling drowsy the whole day...infact, the morning began with a headache. As the clock ticked, I was getting more cranky and edgy. Towards the evening, went for a movie. Heehaahaaa..had a veggie sandwich & a tub of butter popcorn. And Pepsi. Day 2 ruined. Sigh. © Z.

Day I of GM Diet is all fruits day, except bananas. So the day begun with fruit salad...followed by apple..then guavas...then some chikoos...then pomegranate...and it was just 2 pm :(. Hunger pangs every 30 mins! Had lots of water thru the day. Had to visit a batchmate's wedding in the eve. Well..err..had some spring rolls and paneer pakoras...but the dinner was a fruit plate. Duh. It's so uncool, this diet. © Z.

There has been no mortal (the female kinds specially) who would not get charmed by the idea of losing weight without working out! Latest victim is yours truly. The GM Diet begins tomorrow. © Z.

1. How can emotions rule finance? 2. How do you give unto someone, when you actually wanted her to give unto you? 3. How do you have your hands across something that's splitting from all sides? 4. How can time just fly when you were worried all day about how it will pass by? 5. Why do people want to control & micro manage? 6. What kind of people are control freaks? 7. How can you keep making promises to yourself and not honor them? 8. How can you be sure about your decision? 9. How do you provide solace to a upset heart thats given up on hope? 10. How can you make yourself do something that you just dont want to do? 11. Why would you want to do something that you dont want to do? 12. Why cant you not do what you dont want to do? 13. Why does it matter so much if it wasnt meant to be done? 14. What if it was meant to be, but you dont want to do it? 15. Back to Q # 10 16. Why is life so fucked up? 17. Do I have to round it off to 20 Qs? 18. What if I dont want to? 19. And who car...

It gets so increasingly frustrating. You have 100 people around with 10000 expectations. Add to these, you have 1000 more people who you are responsible for with 1000000 more. And if you dont live upto even 1 of them, its catastrophe. You have either changed or dont care or are irresponsible or simply the issue is escalated, if it can be. I'm beginning to detest it now. Everywhere I turn, I have people expecting something out of me, with timelines attached!! Who do I turn to?? Is there a single person I can bank on to partner with me throughout this without having to keep knocking doors for help everytime? I understand the pressure and its not as if its something I've not dealt with before. But now...I'm losing all the interest & zeal to handle it. It all seems just so not worth it... God, you are aware, arnt you? HELP ME. PLEASE. © Z.

Once you cross 25…you begin to count. Not just days & months as they etch by, but also those memories of 2.5 decades…which tend to grow more wooly, indistinct and far off if you don’t keep jogging your cells often. During my brunch which consisted of Maggi noodles (and this despite several vows to eat healthy), my mind took a leafed through the History book...(my! I sound Neanderthal) to check on entries matching “Maggi+Noodles”. I think my first word did start with an “M”…no...not Mama/Mummy…yes...you got that right! I must’ve opened one eye…looked up at the crowd of curious adults staring down at me and bawled, “Maaaaaagggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” and Nestlé’s marketing director who was having his kid delivered in the next room must’ve quickly obliged. Maggi was everywhere when I grew up…it was a prize for behaving well…it was the tool to pataofy me…it was there in the lunch box…during the dinners…during the brunch…and even when you weren’t hungry but reall...

Now this post was long in the offing...but never stuck me to actually publish it. Zodiac Analysis! Yes! Am now gonna write down my experiences with each sun sign and if any of you belong to the "wrong" ones...HARD LUCK. To begin with the ones I avoid with a barge pole. Sagittarius Aquarius AND Capricorn While the first 2 are simply irritating bunch of people, I've not met a single Capricorn who hasnt hurt me. Next in line... Gemini Aries Geminis. Sigh. Who will tell them the planet revolves around the Sun NOT them?! Chatterbugs & Attention Hoggers. One of the most self centered signs. I cant fathom how can one go on & on about him/herself to such an extent. But yeah...you can count on them to cheer you up when you are in the dumps. Aries. Hyper Active or Hyper Lazy. Their favt prayer is either "God grant me patience...and do it right NOW!" or "God grant me energy...can you do that tomorrow?" Not a bad bunch actually...shouldnt be clubbed with G...

Phew..the days jus run..no, whiz by these days. In between the 2 posts...my birthday came & went, a promotion happened, 5 terminations and endless hours of employee counsellings. As always, loads to write but no time to string it all and stitch it here! I like the sudden rush....but hope things turn sane soon. © Zarine.

I took a stress test today. The results were " Stressed Out. You may need help ." Now before that Heart Attack pays me a visit, I must turn to someone I really love & ask him to bail me out. © Zarine.

I didn't know cornflakes with Badam milk & some oranges tastes so good. Man, am all over the place these days. My speech is incoherent...I think faster than I speak which results in some garbled speech! After 2yrs of working, am off late feeling like a new joinee! Am so anxious all the time. The past 6 months have exhausted me completely. So much so that am looking forward to the one new member joining my team. Am gonna dump everything on that poor lad/lass & RUN! But what is it exactly?? I need a review. Yes, that's what I need. It'll give me some perspective on the last 6 months. I need to recharge & rejuvenate myself. I need to go to Kerala. See? see see see? One minute I need a review, next minute I need Kerala!! Sannnyaaassss!!!!!! © Zarine.

Am REALLY Bored. © Zarine.

Man, I’m bored…and how bored I am!!! Monday morning…first time in the last 4 months when I didn’t feel like coming for work. Add to the fact that it’s an off for Operations…it makes the whole thing more dreary. I was wondering if I can go back home by 5? Wah…I’m even looking low! “Monday is the key point…Monday agar nikal jaaye, toh no problem” chirps my VP - Training. Ma’am…problem Monday ki hi hai! L It’s been one of those weekends who’s after effects are felt in the upcoming weekdays. I bought a new cell, btw. There’s a no-cam phone drive on in my biz unit, and as always…HR has to be the first one to comply. Jeez…I feel so dead this morning. Let’s listen to Radio… 1. 92.7 - Delhi Fry..a cookery show with some Suruchi…nah..next.. 2. 91.1 - Some ad going on a girl “Who’s a naukrani but wants to become uske khawabon ke raja ki rani…watch “Raja ki aayegi baaraat” on Zee”. 3. 98.3 - Nominations for “Femina Miss India” on…logon to feminamissindia.indiatimes...